I watch you like a hawk _Oli Sykes Fanfiction

Chapter 61

Kat's POV:

"I heard that you've been self-medicating

In the quiet of your room" _ Missing you, ATL

The moment I rang the doorbell, the door burst open and Jordan stood in the threshold. He looked a little stunned as he took in my appearance, from my too-skinny body to the dark half-moons under my eyes. To be fair, I looked terrible. But he quickly recovered from his shock and pulled me in a tight hug.

"I've missed you so much, Kat."

I went for a smile but my attempt failed pathetically as I blurted out what had been on my mind since he rang me up three hours ago (yes I'd driven straight from the party and it was now three am).

"Where's Oli?"

Immediately his expression sobered and he closed the door behind me, signaling for me to follow him as he hurried towards a staircase. He leaped up the stairs with me hot on his heels, and walked down a corridor to a room where from voices came. My stomach clenched as I recognized Matt N's voice. After Oli, he'd been the one I was closest to in the band.

"Come on Oli, please."

"Fuck off!"

I gasped at the sound and instantly pushed past Jordan and into the room. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the scene.

The bedroom was an absolute mess. It looked like someone had thrown everything he could find on the floor. In one corner of the room, Lee was tidying the bed, obviously making some space for someone to sleep in. But my gaze was attracted like a magnet to the middle of the room, where two Matts were trying to reason with a very agitated Oli.

"Don't touch me!" Oli seethed, taking a step backwards from Matt N's outreached hands.

His view felt like a sucker-punch to my chest. After spending months pining over the guy, he was finally in front of me. But he didn't look like himself at all. He looked...well, sick. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin deathly pale and as for his hair, let's just say messy didn't cut it. To make matters worse, he seemed like he was losing control of his limbs, as if his mind wasn't enough.

"Don't touch me!" He repeated wildly before stumbling against a chair.

Immediately Matt K steadied him, and Oli hissed and jumped backwards to avoid the contact but lost his balance. His hand shot out to grab hold of the chair, but he came up with empty air and crashed to the floor.

Then he sat up and stared at the floor, suddenly seemingly disinterested in what was going on. There was a silence as everyone stared at the immobile Oli, a silence that was only broken by a sob. A sob that I realized, after a minute, was mine. Now that I came to think of it, I could feel wetness trailing down my cheeks. As one, all of Oli's bandmates shifted their attention to me, a strange mix of happiness, worry and relief on their faces. Matt N was the first and the only one who spoke up.

"Do something," he whispered, sounding all choked up.

His eyes were rimmed with red, some part of me noticed. Most of me, however, was still focused on the broken man on the floor. As if sensing my gaze, said man raised his head and met my eyes absently. His vacant expression was like a slap to my face. I let out another sob and hurried over to his side, crouching down to the floor next to him.

"What have you done?" I asked painfully, tears running down my face. "What have you done?"

Little after little, Oli's eyes focused on my face, and a small smile made its way to his face. But it wasn't a nice smile, no it was a bitter, oh-so-sad one.

"She's finally here and she's crying," he whispered, then added as an afterthought. "Even in my dreams I make her cry."

I gritted my teeth and held out my hand.

"Oli, please get up. You need to get some sleep. Come on."

He stared at my hand for a second or two before nodding.

"Okay."

Slowly getting up, he cautiously took my hand and let me lead him to his bed. However, the second Lee moved closer to help me get him into bed, Oli straightened and growled, eyes flashing.

"Get away! Don't touch me!"

I swallowed hard and soothingly ran a hand up and down his arm.

"It's okay," I said, my voice just a bit shaky.

Oli turned to me with frantic eyes, obviously completely out of it.

"Don't let them come close to me. They're gonna hurt me. Please. I don't want them. Get them away!" He turned to the boys and yelled. "Get away!" His voice a mixture of pain and ferocity that shook me to the core.

The guys looked at me pleadingly and I bit my lip, waving them away. They wanted to help but obviously all it did was upset him further. Looking torn, they left, but not before expressively telling me to warn them if things got out of hand.

Trying to keep my overwhelming emotions at bay, I managed to get Oli to lie down on the bed and pulled the covers over him. By that time he was back in a trancelike state, and I let out a whimper at the sight of his hazy eyes. He was totally gone.

I didn't exactly know what the guys wanted me to do, to be honest. Did they just call me over so I could lay him to bed? Did they want me to stay? I was about to leave Oli and ask them when his hand suddenly shot out and grabbed my arm. I slowly turned around to see that his eyes were fixed on me, pleading.

I was dumbstruck.

He tugged slightly on my arm, whispering a 'please' under his breath. What could I do? I tried to ignore my pounding heart as I lay on the bed next to him carefully. Immediately his arms went around me and he nuzzled his face in my neck. I froze. This was too much. This was too much like before.

But as his breaths became slower and more regular, and his arms loosened their warm embrace around me, I found myself unwilling to move. Lying in the bed next to him, tangled in his embrace, it felt like everything was back in its place in the world.

Okay, just one night. One night of pretending everything is alright.

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Much love,

Othilia