Heartdriven: Too Driven To Drive

8. Moonrise

Cold and humid was normal weather for England at the start of the year, but it felt even more freezing stepping outside in Milton Keynes, knowing what laid in wait was spending all day in the company of press and media. Usually Sebastian would have something to look forward to after a day of doing promotional work for the team, but it was another day of going lonely home to an empty apartment.
It was the first day Daniel would be officially presented as a Red Bull driver, and they were going to do photoshoots together. Daniel was cheerful as always, seemingly not bothered by the cold outshined by his breathy smile. He had come from a backmarker team to the reigning champions, but more than the gloomy weather had gotten to Sebastian's head. Building up over the months, a new year, a fresh start... he had to put everything behind him and focus on the season ahead.
Rubbing his hands for heated friction and exhaling onto them to warm himself up, he could see his breath forming in the air. Exchanging the warmth from inside his lungs, he was getting more and more accustomed to the cold.
Starting to look more forward to testing in Jerez and later Bahrain, Sebastian had not liked the feel of the new car as they were trying it in the simulator, but he had been assured it would feel better when they got it out and running on track. There were lot of murmurs coming from the Mercedes camp about the potential of their new engine, but you never could tell truth from fiction until qualifying in the first race in Australia.
Almost designed for the Milton Keynes weather, Red Bull had got him decked out in their merchandise. It was starting to help when he got the beanie and coat on him, and he was almost ready to venture out in front of the cameras. Interviews-galore was on the agenda too, and Britta had made sure to get him well-informed with his answers.
"Hiya gurl, how ya' doing?", the recognisable Australian accent proclaimed loudly enough for Sebastian to hear even standing far away, but what was even more recognisable than his voice was his tone; the certain familiarity mirrored in Britta's eyes looking the direction. She put his hand to his shoulder as Sebastian was locked in on her face, and she nodded, making Sebastian turn around. Daniel was hugging the 'gurl' dressed in similar Red Bull gear as themselves, but seeing the colour of her hair and the shape of her body... she pulled back from Daniel's embrace and her smile melted Sebastian's spine. He felt like he had been hit by lightning.
There she was.
Suddenly everything around was blurry and she was the only thing in focus. She looked much better and healthier than when he last had seen her. The shaved spot from the stitches on her head had grown quite out, but she was still covering it up with the dark locks.
Time had slowed down, but the silence was finally broken by her voice reaching him, "I'm doing OK, Daniel. How are you?", she looked a little nervous, placing a strand of hair behind her ear.
Britta, still holding onto Sebastian's shoulder, gave him a little nudge, pushing him forward to approach Alice, but he was feeling just as nervous as the evening he had met her. His legs moved slowly to not drop underneath him, but as he got closer and she became clearer to him, every little detail of her took his breath away. Her cheeks were speckled pink from the cold and she was hiding her fingers in her sleeves while anxiously clutching at her chest where her precious necklace was always kept underneath her shirt. But most precious to him of all: she was still wearing their engagement ring.
He took off his beanie and ruffled his fingers through his hair. The curls were a bit overgrown with blonde tips, why hadn't he gotten himself cleaned up for the day?
Seeing her now, made him almost forget how angry he was with her. What was he even going to say to her? 'Nice to see you'?, 'Where the fuck have you been?!'? There were no words to describe how she had left him felt. She broke his heart.
Why was he nervous? They knew each other biblically, he had seen her plenty naked before, he had had his head stuck between her legs more times than he could count, but she had captivated him since the first time he laid eyes on her. She was a woman with capital W, and he had always felt out of his league with her... and now here she was again, within his reach... and her lips... No, stop it. Angry. Angry. She left him, abandoned him. He deserved an explanation.
And yet, when he finally approached her with a faked frown put on between his brows, he could not even make eye contact. Avoiding her gaze, he scratched his neck and looked around, deflected. "I need to talk to you," was the only sentence he could muster. 
"Of course." Her voice... Oh God. The cold weather had made her voice a bit raspy, but it still sounded like the taste of melted chocolate. He stole a quick look at her as she excused herself to Daniel with a smile.
He didn't need to say more, as she followed him to his office without any instructions. He wanted to grab her wrist and rush her there, but fearing touching her would break the illusion of her appearance.
Being so close to her, he could no longer avoid her eyes, but she was looking around his office before placing her camera on his desk. She sat herself down on the chair by the desk, while he leaned up against the desk just beside her. Waiting for him to begin, she sat quietly and finally looked up to him with her rich eyes, little lines around. She wasn't smiling, but she was reading him with pleasure and his eyes finally found hers. It wasn't even butterflies, it was fireflies dancing around flames in his stomach as he saw what he had such longed for; the utter devotion replicated from another person, so willingly to give everything in return. He had only ever seen that in her eyes, he had only ever seen her soul.
Her fingers weren't fidgeting as he would have expected them to be, rather she sat completely still, feeling the moment, whatever it was, between them. It was always that.
Tipping his fingers on the table to keep them in place and not reach for her hand, he broke their contact to formulate his feelings, "I never thought I would see you again."
"I'm sorry," she looked down at her hands, at last. The recognisable frown had returned and she shook her head.
"Alice," he got her attention back, "I need to touch you right now."
She reached her hand forward to him.
"I never thought I would see you again. So I need to know that you are really here," trying to keep his voice in check from trembling as much as he was craving her touch. 
She placed her hand on his thigh, and his eyes shut as she sent electricity up through his body. He put his hand on top of hers, and she turned her hand around so he could hold her as her thumb stroked him. Her touch was so gentle it felt shy. It was like being caressed by a little paw.
Opening his eyes, she still had hers on him. He had to touch her. He had to feel soft skin. His other hand went to her chin and his thumb across her lower lip. She didn't blink once. Even touching just her face, he could feel her heart beat as rapid as his own.
"Can I kiss you?"
She nodded. Her cheeks were warm, even from being just outside, that was no match to her inner warmth.
He stood upright from the chair, still holding her hand, he helped her up from the chair, and held both her hand in his... holding, stroking, touching her arms, as they had their bodies so close that the coldness of outside soon escaped.
His hands went around her back and pressed her against him, confirming the heartbeat. He knew her face, he knew her body, he knew her lips. And his found their way to hers, touching them as gently as she had touched him, before just as quickly letting go.
"You really... hurt me," only whispers coming out of his body, but his breath came back to him from hers.
"I know. I'm sorr—", she didn't get further as he had to kiss her again. He had to touch her. He had to feel that the body he had known was the same now. It was her. She was here. She tasted the same, she felt the same. It was his Alice.
There was no reluctance in her touch, as she just much embraced his body, rustling around the back of his shirt as his lips with a touch of his tongue travelled down her neck. He wanted her. He wanted her now. He wanted her whole being, he wanted to be one with her, he wanted her to be his.
"Don't you...", she pulled back from him, breathing heavily, "... have a couch in your office?"
He wouldn't let her escape his arms, escape again, holding her tight enough to pull her back to him, "We can go to my apartment," kissing her again.
She let him explore her mouth and neck again for a few moments before she could no more, trying to push him away again, "I think my hotel is closer." She had managed to get away from him and wiped his saliva from her flushed lips. "Uhm... we need to...", she took a few steps further back, "We need to get back, they need you," she was becoming nervous about keeping him, but it was the least of his worries. All he cared about was keeping her.
"No, we can go right now. Alice," he reached forward and touched her hands before they could begin their fidgeting, "Do you want to go? Then we can talk and..."
She turned her back, "I don't want to cause more trouble than I already have." He didn't want her to have any doubts about returning to him. Still having a lot to talk about, and some feelings to express, it was more important to him that they reconciled, and then everything else came after.
He walked up behind her and touched her hips and then placing his hand firmly on her body, "I only want to be with you. Nothing else matters."
She quickly turned around and hugged him with her wet cheeks pressed against his, "I only want to be with you."
Nothing else mattered.