Heartdriven: Too Driven To Drive

30. Tomorrow, There'll Be Sun

    Eight hours to Canada was a long flight, but it was easy to pass time. Alice got some rest and had stolen a couple of books from Sebastian's office to look through. Now she knew that Mount Everest was 8.848 metres tall, and the journey was likely to cost a couple of toes. Good to know. She wondered (and feared), why he had that book in his office, surely he wasn't considering something... maybe she should hide the book from him. Just in case.
    Sebastian had gotten her a first class ticket, so she felt quite pampered. He had also wanted to pick her up in the airport, but it was a struggle to fit into his schedule. But she could easily take a taxi.
    "Alice. Alice!", she turned back to the recognisable voice.
    "Britta!", taking a few steps towards her and giving her a hug, a little suprise to Britta but Alice was just happy to have landed and seeing a face she knew. "Have you just arrived as well? Do you want to share a taxi?"
    "No, I am here to pick you up."
    "He sent you?", Alice didn't mean to give off the disappointment in her voice. It wasn't about Britta, but that he would have sent someone against her wishes, after she had told him she would be fine.
    Britta reacted to it, shaking her hands in front of her, "No, he didn't send me. I offered. I could tell he was very stressed about not being able to pick you up, and he couldn't focus. So I thought it would help... if I helped."
    "Thank you, Britta. You didn't have to do that, it's so kind of you. Thank you," Alice felt so touched by the sweetness that she didn't know how to respond, "Do you want the rest of my chocolate? It's with peanuts."
    "They let you bring that on the plane?"
    "No, they gave it to me on the plane," taking advantage of the first class service.
    Britta held out her hand accepting, with a devious grin, "Well, if Sebastian is paying..."
    They were going to have a lot of fun on the drive.

    After stopping for a quick meal on their way back, Britta gave Alice the hotel key and dropped her off. Sebastian wouldn't be there, so she had a chance to settle in before catching up. He had told the hotel personnel that she would be coming, and they helped her up to the suite with her luggage. Suite. He was staying in a suite.

    The grand entry of the suite took her by surprise, and she might have over-tipped the porter, but she felt a little out of place in such a luxurious room. Well, rooms. She didn't want to go exploring and kept herself in the living room, planting herself on the couch.
    She woke up later by some noise at the door, and she went to investigate to find the door opening by two huge smiles. He barely made a step inside the door before her arms were around him. He felt so good in her embrace. If it wasn't because of the other smile beside him, she would have pulled inside and had her way with him.
    "Hi Daniel."
    "Seb said you were coming, so I just wanted to come by to say hiya. But looks like y'all will be busy," his wide wmiling turning rather suggestive.
    She let go of her embrace of Sebastian and stepped aside, "No no, come on in. I'm just settling in."
    "Yea, long flight?"
    She pulled Sebastian along by his hand, not wanting to let go of him for a moment. "It was okay. I'm here now."
    Daniel sat down in the couch without any hesitation or invitation, clearly feeling more comfortable in the luxurious surroundings, "Been a while. Did you enjoy your honeymoon?"
    "Yes, it was a lot of fun," she sat on the armrest next to Sebastian, resisting the urge to sit on his lap in front of company.
    "Like bunnies," the idiot chuckled beside her.
    "Sebastian!", she pulled her hand to herself in surprise, and a little amused, trying not to let it show.
    Clearly trying to keep the reactions coming from her, he had mischievious smirk on his face as he kept going, "She couldn't keep her hands off me."
    "Say one more thing, and I'm leaving again," raising her finger in a scolding manner with a faked frown on her face.
    "In-sa-ti-able," enunciating every syllable, trying to get on her last pretend-nerve.
    "Bye!", she got up from the armrest and took a very slow step away, waiting for his next move. He grabbed back onto her hand and pulled her down on his lap. She wasn't going to get away that easily.
    Daniel made himself known with a clearing of his throat, getting of from the opposite couch, "Looks like I'm the one who has to say bye. See ya' tomorrow, Seb. You coming too, Alice?"
    Sebastian was holding her firm in his lap and trying to tickle her belly, she could barely get the words out from the giggles, "I don't... know yet."
    "Aight, but it was nice seeing you again. Don't be a stranger," he discreetely snuck out, as Sebastian started kissing her neck. Daniel just made it out the door before it got worse and she was pulled down on the couch.
    "What took you so long?", she didn't even know what time it was or if he even was late. She just knew she had missed him.
    "We were helping the mechanics unpack," his reply came quickly put his focus was elsewhere, "What happened to your hand?"
    "Here's the thing... No, I can't tell you."
    His eyes were deep serious, almost frightened with worry, "Now you have to." He sat up, again still holding her hand in his, quite delicately as the first touch had made her wince, the squished cuts and bruises on the knuckles barely beginning to heal yet. "What happened?"
    "I slammed it in a drawer."
    He breathed a sigh of relief, "That's it?"
    "No, that's not it... I kind of... did it to myself."
    "What? What the fuck are you talking about?", he sounded in complete disbelief, but she couldn't even look at him, keeping her head down.
    "I just wanted to see what it would feel like. And then for a moment... all the bad thoughts were gone." And getting a relief from the feeling of nothing, was starting to scare her.
    He jumped up from the couch, gesturing his arms wildly everywhere as if he was trying to punch the air, "Fuck! What the fuck, Alice! You can't do things like that!"
    "Please don't be mad at me," wrapping herself in her arms, wanting to hide the bruised hand from him.
    He sat back down next to her, but still with a little distance, as he put a hand on her thigh, "Alright, uhm. We need to get you to a doctor."
    "It's fine, it's not that sore anymore, it will heal soon," feeling the distance, she tried to keep herself from turning away, but it was hard to look at him, feeling disappointed in herself.
    "Not for you fucking hand! For your head!", he was getting so loud, she gave a jump in her seat.
    "Don't yell at me."
    It seemed he finally realised that his reaction had a negative effect on her, as he took a deep breath anod moved close to her. His arm came around her shoulder, and his voice was calm again, "You need help, sweetie."
    "It's already helping when I'm around you," even their little game when he turned up, had made her forget all the nightmares even happened.
    "No, Alice. You need professional help. I want to help you, but I can't do enough for you. You have a darkness hiding inside of you, that I can't take care of on my own, and it scares me. Please, Alice. Let me take you to Dr. Heather when we get home. Before it gets worse. Before you do something worse." And there was that tiny fear in his voice. It was more than worry. It was different. She was starting to feel it herself, too.
    "Okay. Okay, you're right. I'll go," finally secure enough to glance back at him. And she didn't feel judged.
    He looked like it was the first time she had made sense this whole time. And gave her a comforting smile, with a hint of pity, "Thank you, Alice. I will be with you the whole way."
    "Thank you. But can we please not talk about it more while we're here? I don't want to think about it anymore." The worst part was having to tell him, and now she didn't want to dwell on it.
    "Alright. Whatever you need."
    And then came the awkward pause. He didn't know what to say, and she was still considering a topic change.
    The rumbling in her stomach, made the choice for her, "Have you had dinner yet?"
    "No. Do you want to eat here or we can go out?", he finally felt relaxed enough to get up from the couch and away from her, and started to change out of his Red Bull gear.
    "Here's fine. I don't feel like going out tonight. And I still haven't explored this... suite," she followed him along, big-eyed, into the bedroom, "Why did you get such a big suite?"
    "I had a room with a single bed, so I needed to change when I heard you were coming." Looking at the bed of this bedroom, there seemed to be more space than for only two people.
    She went over to sit on the bed, and bouncing a bit off the edge, "And this was all they had left?"
    "No, I just wanted to surprise you. I wasn't sure if you would want to come to the paddock with me, so I wanted to make sure you had a nice place to stay," maybe he was trying to distract her by walking around half naked and finding fresh clothes, because it made her enjoy the view.
    "You are so sweet. And you did surprise me. I think I tipped the porter $100," she covered the grin on her face with her whole hand. Slightly embarrassed at the amount, since it was money he had given her, but knew he would find it funny.
    "Canadian or US?"
    She threw herself backwards on the bed, as he was digging at her, "I don't know, it happened so fast! I stepped in and just went, 'wow, I really have a rich husband, how did I do that?'" Even the bedsheets felt luxurious.
    "Rich and good looking," correcting her to get some flatter for himself.
    She dutily repeated, "Rich and good looking."
    Something was touching her knee, gee wonder what it was, tapping up her thigh. "And an amazing lover."
    "Alright then," she sat back up, finding him kneeling between her legs. She was too hungry to play those kind of games right now.
    "Do you want to be my trophy wife for the weekend?"
    "Oki doki!", she gave him a quick kiss and used his shoulders to lift herself up from the bed, as she left in search of the roomservice menu.
    He did seem happy when he got to spend money on her, and she was trying her darndest to accept it, pushing aside the pride that had always held her back. Struggling with one thing while growing on from another. Two steps forward, one step back. That added up, right?