I've loved a man who's never been kind when angry.
Harsh, painful words is my breakfast, either ignored or shouted on is my lunch, and again painful words is my dinner.
It's been 5 years and 6 months to be exact, I've been suffering in this kind of relationship. I feel suffocated, too drained and done. I can feel myself giving up, wanting to forget the pain, everything including him.
I did everything I can to give everything he wants, needs and everything I can to make him happy and feel loved by me. I give and give until I forgot myself. I forgot to ask myself if I'm still happy, if I can still fight to stay.
I've been giving endless chances to make him realize that he's lucky enough, that I'm not like the other girls, despite him hurting me, making me feel ugly and unloved, my love never got swayed by everything.
It's too much for me to handle everything alone. Whenever we fought over petty things, he would choose to break up with me, telling me that he doesn't love me anymore, hurting me no-stop, and it made me wonder, do I deserve this? All I ever did was to make everything work. For us to work.
is it wrong to ask him to be a better man? Or am I asking too much? Is it wrong to wish that I should've never loved him
if only I can, I only I have the power to go back and restart, I would've chosen my own happiness than giving him the chance to ruin my life.
