why.? why do you have to be so difficult? dont you see how much he loves her.? if he could turn time back, he would do it over and over again just to see you a least smile at him. just to see you not looking pitiful in another man's arms. to see you not carrying another man's child besides him.
you used to be so sweet and kind, always looking for him while he trains. always bringing him a pool of flowers or food, always worrying about his health, always defending him when other kids would pick on him.
he didnt notice back then how much he really cherished you dearly and had took you for granted until you was taken away.
he wasnt able to take his mind off of you for years, and he build up a fake personality, an invisible wall around him, a facade.
and now that he saw you, he thought you would run into his arms and cry out of happiness while he did the same for you. but no, it was the complete opposite.
for years of not being with each other, all you gave him was a look and walked past him.
he was shocked by you so much he froze up, his cheery persona stopped. The people around him asked what was wrong but he couldnt pay to anybody else but you.
days went on, he slowly went back to his old fake personality to not worry the people. but he was more different, he would be more engage to conversations whenever it was about you. he asked about you to other people every chance he could get.
you was now the Goddess of War. how? you were just a cute pitiful girl the last time he saw you so how did it come to this? he scoffed at the nickname.
his heart cracked to pieces upon finding out you were married to? Hades. A punk like him? really? although he was hurt, he laughed. Hades could never better than him.
he had heard of the Ragnarök starting, it got him riled up and excited. he was confident he was going to win. He had personally asked brunhilde to put him against Hades himself. Brunhilde was delighted with his answer as she also thought he had a chance of winning against him.
Unfortunately, she really didnt know the true meaning behind it. But he didnt care, he'll destroy your husband and get you to himself.
after brutally killing your husband, declaring him as the winner of the Ragnarok the crowd roar with cheer.
while your heart was breaking and aching in every vessel there was, you wasnt stupid. you never was you knew he mustve done this on purpose for what? why could he never wish you for happiness? you hated yourself for ever loving someone like him.
The other Gods stare at you after watching Hades soul disappear into thin air, they knew you was strong but didnt know if this will break you down for sure or not.
you didnt. you couldnt let yourself show those kinds of emotions in front of them, it was weak. that was all your past ever was, you was too weak.
you always thought Qin Shi would notice your feelings for you back then, but he was too focused on getting stronger and on his insecurities he never pay attention to you.
until your father had completely banned you from ever entering their realm again, he hated humans. for what reason? they were weak and pitiful mortals that cant protect their loved ones.
your mother tried to talk to him about it, which resulted a slap through her face that left a deep red mark.
after that day, your father wouldnt stand having a weak daughter around. if his wife wasnt going to give him a son then he'll make you stronger than any other men.
he trained you until your body collapsed, until there was bruises all over your body. mind you, you was barely a teenager back then. you couldnt understand why your own father was doing this to you. you thought they was supposed to be loving, kind, understanding, gentle, praises, and you received none of it.
your mother would try to help you, even though her body was the smallest of Gods with that frail body she would cover you whenever your father was angry. She was your strongest God ever.
you looked up to her. She was the only thing that kept you sane throughout your father tortures, you cant say it didnt help you get stronger, to be strong enough to go fight your own wars and battles, strong enough to get your own title as the Goddess of War.
coming home after a war, just wanting to be in your mothers arms for her comfort and warmth. you've never got it that day, instead you got one look at her face before she was below the ground.
your father had killed her, her body personally couldnt keep it up anymore. you sobbed that night begging for a miracle to just bring her back, and that night was when everything turned grey for you.
the only guy who ever saw you as you were, helped you, and comforted you. not as just friends but as a husband.
a great lover, a great companion, how could anybody not love him?
now he was also gone, was everything in your life going to go wrong? why cant you have a somebody who will love you and be there with you for eternity? who cares being immortal if you wont have a person to spend it with? its going to be useless after all.
now youre faced to face with your first love.
you couldnt hold back your anger, you punched him repeatedly landing heavy blows onto his already wounded body.
until he swiftly grabbed both of your wrists with his bloody palms.
he was happy you were all to himself but at what cost? now you hate him. was his plan that obvious?
"please one more chance." he begged with his voice cracking.
no, you couldnt let your heart open to a person who killed your husband.
you pushed him off as you walked away from him without giving him an answer, it was obvious what it was though.
after that day, he would try to get closer to you and bring you thousands of gifts everyday, he would talk to you about his day, asking you what you do, random conversations.
even going so far to announcing to his empire you would be his next empress, seems his citizens were not that happy, but he could careless. you was all he need.
he cant go another minute without you, you were so valuable to him.
why cant you just go back to your old self again? he misses you, cant you understand that?
everybody surrounding you can tell how love sick he was for you, without your presence near him. his aura was cold and deadly, he wasnt like his normal self where he was respectful and cheerful to everyone he saw. only to you.
til he saw you talking to another male, you two's conversation lasting longer than any thousands of conversations you and Qin shi ever had.
he hated that sight, the thought, and the feeling.
he was being more moody than ever, even his royal advisors couldnt help him as he would just lash out at them and kick them out his room.
he was sick and tired of your attitude, he was in deep stress and depression.
