Human Design | Sirius Black

xxi. Comforting A Straight That You Might Be In Love With?

FOR A MOMENT,   Reece stood in the doorway, uncertain of what to do. "Shit, are you –?" okay? Of course, he wasn't okay, he was crying his eyes out, what kind of question was that? A stupid one. Reece hoped he would have been better at dealing with emotional situations but he could barely deal with his own, much less other people's; there was very little empirical research on the subject and if he couldn't study for the optimal method of action, he didn't know what to do at all.

Benjy was too distraught, it seemed, to notice his unease or awkwardness because he pressed his face into his knees and let out another strangled sob. It almost looked like he was melting, as if the syrup that kept the sawdust he was moulded together was losing its sticky hold due to the salt in his tears. "She said she just needed time to focus on exams and that once we graduate, she doesn't want to be 'held back' whatever that means." His voice was muffled into the fabric on his knees but Reece heard it break halfway through nonetheless and quickly set off through the room to climb onto the bed. Just as he pulled Ben into his chest, his arms wrapping around his shoulders, he croaked, "I just don't understand – what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," Reece said instantly. "Ben, you've done nothing wrong. If she split with you because she saw you as some school phase, she would have split with you at graduation regardless of who you are." When he got no acknowledgement of so much as being heard, he said firmly, "Okay?" and Benjy gave a liquid shrug and a miserable mumble of agreement. "It's got nothing to do with who you are, you're perfect."

* * * * *

Benjy had not recovered into a good enough mood the next morning to even attend breakfast, much less classes, and thus Reece promised to duplicate notes from any class they had together (since they were only revising in all their subjects, there really wasn't that much of anything important he would miss) and even bring him up some food from meals, leaving him to walk back and forth between the Ravenclaw Tower and the rest of the castle more often than usual, cutting down the precious minutes from his planner.

His last class of the day was Herbology and as he sat in the classroom beside Orla (who was currently drawing flowers (very beautiful and realistic ones) onto her parchment instead of taking notes), he found that he was now even more left behind from his deadlines than he had been before.

Nonetheless, he found his eyes moving away from Sprout and over to Veronica. Unlike Benjy, who hadn't even left the dormitory, Veronica had attended all her classes and meals but even so, she looked a little less put together than normal. Reece wasn't able to put his finger on it (after all, he and Veronica didn't spend much time together and he hadn't exactly studied her in great detail). 

Her afro was tied up with a little more disregard than usual because the hair tie was just slightly off-centre, the collar of her uniform shirt was a little crumpled, and her usually bright and wide eyes peered up at the blackboard as if she was struggling to see properly.

Had it been anybody else, Reece would probably have felt like her choice to break up with Benjy was completely understandable, mature even, but because it was Benjy, he felt anger rear its ugly head inside him again as he watched the girl. 

Benjy had done everything for Veronica; it was for this girl that they had stopped being friends as she was made first priority, and now she was just going to split with him like it all meant nothing. She was taking it for granted, being someone's priority.

Feeling his stomach twist, Reece tore his eyes away and found them fixated instead on Devvie who sat alone at a desk in the very front. This transformed the anger into solemn guilt. Had they really been in the same class for seven years without Reece ever noticing him? Did he always sit alone?