Human Design | Sirius Black

xxvi. Self-Reflection is a Good Thing, Actually

ON THE LAST day before the graduation ceremony, Reece finally got over himself and decided to find Yrsa. He hadn't talked to her since the dinner on Thursday nearly two weeks ago when she had attempted to read his tea leaves and he had decided to call her a selfish and self-absorbed problem child but considering they were related, it wasn't like he could avoid her forever, and it would only become more awkward the longer he waited.

However, as soon as he stepped out of the Ravenclaw Tower, his eager confidence faded. The issue with the fact that he hadn't talked to her for two weeks was that he had no idea where she was. He could only hope she hadn't gone to Hogsmeade. It was another perfectly sunny day and thus he decided to start outside on the grounds because that was where students tended to be in such weather when there were no lessons.

The universe seemed to be working in his favour for once because not only did he spot Yrsa near the edge of the lake when he peered down from the second-floor window, but she was also alone, and thus he set off to get to her. It felt as if his stomach had been filled with carbon dioxide because his insides fizzed with nerves. She didn't notice him approach at all, too enthralled in the book that she was reading; he could still turn back, but what purpose would that serve? He'd have to talk to her at the graduation ceremony tomorrow. So he kept walking until he was right beside her. "Hey."

Yrsa looked up, peering through narrowed eyes to avoid the bright sunlight. A warm smile instantly grew on her face. "Hey," she echoed, though her voice was much more radiant than he had been.

"Where's ... where are your friends?" he asked as he sat down cross-legged beside her.

"Oh ... around I guess." She gave a nonchalant shrug as she tucked a bookmark into the opening she was on and closed the book. "I am capable of being alone sometimes, you know, it's healthy. Self-reflection helps us see others."

A smile twitched at the corners of his lips before he nodded and then sighed. "I came to apologise about what I said. Um – I know I should have done it earlier and not wait two weeks but..." His abdominal muscles tightened into a grimace.

"It's fine." Yrsa smiled again, her feet swinging back and forth languidly as her knees were bent and she lay on her stomach. "In all honesty, you raised a fair enough point," she continued, "hence the self-reflection." The anxiety in his stomach eased like a carbonated drink left unsealed into the sun causing it to go stale. "Those problems that you have ... well, if you want to talk to me about them, you can."

He nodded, feeling a warmth spread in his chest. But even if he was thankful for the offer, he said, "I think ... I think maybe I'll figure them out by myself. Dad's always speaking about self-sufficiency and all that and I'm supposed to be a real adult now." With a nod, Yrsa hummed, and he was even more grateful that she didn't pry. "Anyway," he changed the subject, "I've decided to stop trying to tell you what to do with your life. I realised that it's not really about you, it's not really about protecting you, it's about me trying to fill whatever role I feel like I should and wanting to control something cause my own life's a fucking fiasco. So, just do whatever you want from this point on; rob Gringotts, go take acid in some nightclub, have sex with the entire Quidditch team if you want."

A laugh instantly bubbled from her throat and she spoke through it to say, "Well I wasn't planning on doing any of those things but thanks for the blessing." Then she shook her head as if not quite believing the words had truly left his mouth. "I am going to Ashley's tomorrow instead of Mum and Dad's. Considering when I do get home sometime in August they will try to kill me for wasting my summer, it'll be good to know that at least I have your support."

"Don't you think you should –" study? Reece shook his head to himself and clenched his jaw to keep the word in his throat. "I mean, I hope you have a good time and that you two keep each other safe."