Human Design | Sirius Black

xviii. Two Hearts Break (when one is full of guilt)

WHEN REECE RETURNED to Hogwarts exactly a year later for Yrsa's graduation, he felt the same apathy he felt at everything else and then a pang of irritation for not becoming overwhelmed with happiness or nostalgia at his return to the place he had spent most of his adolescence. 

The day was sunny, too hot, in contrast to the overcast skies on his own graduation day and the ceremony took place on the grounds beside the lake as it always did (unless it was raining but it miraculously seldom did). 

It was almost unbearable for him to sit through. His back stuck to the chair and he continuously had to peel it off when the last student had finally shaken hands with Dumbledore, Reece eagerly stood up and allowed the gentle wind to air out his skin underneath black dress robes.

The new graduates set off into the audience to find their own families and Yrsa soon broke from between two large groups. A smile grew to her lips when she spotted him. "Congratulations." He pulled her into a hug and it didn't go unnoticed to him that she didn't return it with the force or eagerness she usually would. "How does it feel then?" he asked when he pulled apart (which happened too soon).

She shrugged, and said, "I don't..." like she was going to say she didn't know but the distracted response faded as her eyes fell to the empty space that encapsulated him. "Didn't Mum or Dad come?"

Even though it wasn't his responsibility in any way, Reece felt his cheeks burn in shame and his focus flickered down to his feet for a moment. "Uh ... no," he admitted and looked back up. "No, they had work, Erika too."

Yrsa smiled widely though anybody who had ever seen her smile before would know it was forced. "Cool. Yeah, that's fine –" she nodded her head repetitively as she spoke "– Dumbledore does the same speech every year and it isn't exactly one for the history books, it must be boring the third time around – I mean, it is, this is the third time I've heard it."

"I'm sorry, it's pretty shit of them."

Her eyes moved away from him and focused on something slightly to his left. "Yeah, cool, it's fine – It's good actually. It's better they're not here." She pulled her lips into a thin line and Reece looked over his shoulder to see what she was staring at.

 It was Remus Lupin, who was speaking to his own parents, his mother all but weeping, his father with a few tears in his own eyes, and the boy looking the same as all teenagers had an obligation to look when their parents were too affectionate in public ('mum, stop, you're being embarrassing', 'we've already taken fifty pictures, is that not enough?', 'I am smiling – I don't know how to smile any better than this', 'it's not that big a deal, honestly', 'it's a school diploma, I'm not the minister, stop exaggerating'),

 Reece had no first-hand experience with it, he had seen it enough times in others to be familiar with it. He turned back to Yrsa just as she nodded again, still focusing on Remus, "Good, yeah." Then she finally looked away. "Didn't you have work?"

"No, not today. It's a Saturday." She shrugged; weekends had meant little to them growing up, days of rest were wasted days and therefore shouldn't be taken. "If you want, we can do something."

"No, sorry, I'm busy."

"With what? In your letter, you said you weren't planning anything with your friends."

Before she could reply, Ashely appeared, wounding her arm tightly around hers. "Yrsa, come on, we need a group picture."

In an instant, she had rooted her feet into the ground. "No," she said, frantically shaking her head and attempting to pull her arm free ("No, Ash, I don't want to") and Ashley stopped trying to drag her across the lawn though didn't let go. Her eyes scanned Yrsa's features, clearly perplexed by this uncharacteristic behaviour. "I don't want to be in a group picture."