Life or Death

Chapter Five

           It was well into the morning when another guard came and told us it was clear and there were no intruders. They'd questioned anyone of suspicion and sent all the guests to their rooms or homes in the village.

I'd had a lot of time to think it all over. What was happening, what was going to happen, what could happen. Every scenario that went through my mind nearly sent me into tears, because in every single scenario, something bad happened to Matthias or everyone else I loved or cared about. When the tears finally broke out, Andra tried her best to comfort me and tell me to think positively. She's never been very good with people or emotions. growing up without a mother or any sort of female role model does that to you.

What freaked me out was the loss that I felt. Something inside of me knew that Matthias wasn't alright. that even if he was alive, something was wrong.

It was at that moment that I vowed that if Matthias was alive, I would be the one to find him. I tried not to think of what would happen if he wasn't. Either way, I would find out.

But there was no way anyone would let me out of the castle. 

~

Five years ago

I was thirteen years old, and I was hiding behind a tree. If I moved, everyone would see.

Tears stained my face and made my face all puffy, on top of the endless pain that I felt. The one thing I had been dreading these past few months had finally come.

When you're an orphan, you don't have a mother to tell you about the bodily functions of a woman. So, when you come of age, a blunt and stern servant who was void of any emotion, let alone the nurturing nature of a mother, sits you and your best friend down in a stuffy room and explains what exactly happens to you when the time comes. In vivid detail.

Andra still hadn't gotten hers yet, and so I was completely alone in this. I hadn't even gotten it that morning, but instead at the worst possible time of day.

This was back when Andra and I still did lessons with the other children whose parents were dukes and duchesses or just relatively close with my brother. So, when that lesson had ended and I stood to head to sword fighting, a boy I hardly knew called out and pointed to me, a horrified look on his face. Me and the rest of the class were confused, but then he said that I was bleeding to death. I immediately knew nothing was wrong with me, but I looked behind me at my back and saw that my gray trousers were stained with dark red blood.

Without saying a word to any of the other children, I started running. I didn't even know what direction I was going in until I eventually sat down at this tree. It was only when I looked back that I realized I had run away from the castle and was now even further from the safety of my rooms.

Stuck there, I began to sob. I couldn't get up and have another person see me, but I couldn't stay there under the tree forever. I could only hope that one of the other students told a servant what had happened, and they would come and get me. But how long would that take?

I was in the middle of these thoughts when I heard footsteps approaching me. I look behind me and find Matthias walking up to me, hands in his pockets, the royal crown tilted on his messy dark-haired head.

"Fancy seeing you here, Ness." He reaches me and crouches down to study my face. "One of your teachers came up and told me what happened. Are you okay?"

"I'm better," I sniffled. "I just can't believe this is happening to me." I break into brand-new sobs, and I feel Matthias' hand on my back, attempting to comfort me.

"Hey, Ness, it's alright. I don't really know how all that stuff works, but I do know that it's normal." I look up at him, his green eyes welcoming. "And I think that both of us could use a little normal in our lives."

I snort. "I guess that's true."

"See? So, this is a good thing, Ness. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, you're probably right," I say smiling.

"I am right. Now let's get you to your rooms."

My smile vanishes. "Um, Matthias, I have—um," I blush.

It takes Matthias a moment to register what I'm trying to say. "Oh. Oh. Yes, of course." He stands up, taking his coat off. He tells me to stand and then ties his coat around my waist, covering the blood stain.

"Thank you," I say as we start towards the castle.

He smiles. "No problem." He walks me all the way to my rooms before he returns to his duties.

This was before the duties of being king were truly weighing on him. Before he turned to alcohol and revels and women to solve his problems.

Before we grew apart.