Life or Death

Chapter Eleven

I woke to someone violently shaking me awake. Groggy from lack of sleep due to taking watch after Andra, it took a valiant effort to sit up. When I look up, I can just barely see the sun begin to rise.

"Either you get up or we're leaving you here, ness." Andra grabs my hand and pulls me up. "We have to get going. I want to make it at least halfway through Sybillia Wood before nightfall."

Groaning, I rub my eyes and take in my surroundings. Any signs of a fire have been erased, and both Raiden and Andra have packed up their things. My cheeks flame with embarrassment and I worry that I'm not as necessary as they think I am. Despite having powers, I haven't used them in years and I'm not entirely sure they still work. It's not uncommon for people to lose their magic, but it normally only happens from burning it out.

As if reading my mind, Raiden says, "We're going to practice today every time we stop. It should still be there, but it might be weak."

I force a smile and nod. I begin to stretch and prepare my muscles for the long journey we have ahead. While I'm not excited to start using my powers again, but if it makes me even the slightest bit useful, I'll do what it takes. I try not to let my anxious thoughts get ahold of me, but it is becoming increasingly difficult. Aside from sword fighting and a little bit of hand-to-hand combat, I don't bring much to the table. If anything, I'm making it worse by my being here and not back in Tarnow. If we make it to Asmen and get caught, the princess and one of the last in the Whitethorne bloodline being there might make things worse for Andra and Raiden.

"Everything okay, Ness?"

Deciding not to lie to the person who can tell any time I'm lying, I say, "I shouldn't be here. I'm decent for royalty, but I'm not good enough to break into an enemy castle. What if Matthias isn't there, or he's dead and I dragged the two of you along just to get killed? What if-"

I'm cut off by Raiden's fist flying towards me. it makes contact with my nose, but it's not hard enough to break it. Confused, I try to walk out of his reach, but he charges toward me. when the second punch comes, I take hold of his arm with one hand and twist. With the other I land a punch of my own, hitting his mouth. I move my foot to wrap around his ankle and push him, sending him toppling to the ground.

"What was that for?!" I yell, going to stomp on his lungs out of spite, but he rolls out of the way of my boot. He stands up and wipes the blood from his lip. I realize my own nose is bleeding, and I feel the hot blood dripping to the muddy forest floor.

"That was why you should be here, and not back in Tarnow. Nessa, do you really think any of those idiot men would actually listen to you, no mater your lineage or how good you would be at leading? We need you here, and you might be our only way into Asmen. So, suck it up and let's get going."

I look over at Andra, who was standing off to the side watching all of this transpire, holding out my bag to me. I take my bag and give Raiden a particularly vulgar gesture as I storm past him and closer to Asmen.

I know I was probably a little dramatic, but it's hard not to be with my company. When you are a princess traveling with an assassin and the daughter of a war general, who have both been strictly trained from dusk till dawn since they were young, it's hard not to feel insecure. No matter how much I want to be trained, all of my instructors did it as halfheartedly as they could. I know it's because they don't really need me, and I become less predictable the more powerful I become. It's easier to control someone when they are inexperienced in nearly everything physical. The intelligence of books and Andra are the only things that made it so I didn't get my butt properly kicked by Raiden.

If I'm going to do this, I need to give it my all. Because if I don't, then we're all dead.

Life or death.