Life or Death

Chapter Ten

****TRIGGER WARNING: suggestions of SA****

~

I don't remember starting to cry, but the tears are running down my face before I can stop them.

"After my parents died, I went quiet. I had said very few words in the past year, and not even Andra could get me to talk. There was a man, and he was trying to hurt me. He knew that whatever happened, whatever he did, I wouldn't tell anyone." A lump forms in my throat. "I was so angry I couldn't even think. I started to think about hurting him the way he was hurting me, and suddenly he fell to the floor, choking and coughing up blood. I realized that exactly what I was imagining in my head was playing out in front of me. A servant saw and told my brother. After trying again and again, I was able to control a servant to do anything I wanted. Somehow, I had inherited the ability to control people's minds."

We sat in silence for several minutes.

"No one outside of the castle knew exactly what happened, only that I had killed someone. Everyone who knew were sworn to secrecy.They thought that it was so vile that a girl whose parents were murdered would be capable of murdering someone."

Instead of being disgusted by me, he wraps an arm around me. "Nessa, that wasn't your fault. you were protecting yourself."

"What? You aren't scared of me? You aren't worried I might try to control you?"

"Nessa, I was raised in an Assassin Kingdom. I'm an assassin. The only difference between us is that you don't need a weapon. You are one."

I sigh in relief. Realizing how stupid I am for thinking an assassin would have a problem with me killing one person, I bury my face in my hands.

"You said that you hadn't spoken for years after your parents died. What got you to talk again?"

I look up at him. "Honestly? After everything happened, I decided I would never let someone else take advantage of my silence again. It took me a while, but I started talking to Andra and Matthias, and soon I was having conversations with dukes and ladies' maids."

He smiles at me, teeth and all. It's the kind of smile that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. "I think your power is amazing, and I don't think you should be ashamed of it. In fact, we can use it to get into Asmen."

"Andra thinks so, too. But I haven't used it since the accident. All my instructors have ignored it, either because they don't know how to train me or don't want to."

"Well, we have a little time for you to learn. It could really help us, Nessa. I don't know a lot about magic, but I do know how to train, and I'm guessing you and Andra do too." I nod. "So, starting tomorrow, we try to control this power of yours. Deal?"

I think for a second. It would be nice to finally take control of the thing that has plagued me all these years. "Deal." We shake hands.

"What did I miss?" Andra walks up then with a dead rabbit in her hands.

"Oh, nothing much, just that Nessa here is going to magic her way into the Ashbrook castle."

~

We eat as little as we can without starving ourselves so we can save food for when we're walking again. We don't say much as we go to our sleeping mats. Andra has volunteered—or demanded—to take watch. Too exhausted to protest, I lied down and gazed at the thin, tall trees blending into the night sky.

As my eyes start to droop and sleep takes over, I pray to any god that would listen to keep my brother alive and safe, at least until I can get to him.