pure imagination || dan heng, jing yuan, & blade ✓

thirty eight

Warnings | parental abuse, confrontations, angst (not towards dan heng), thoughts of su!c!de, depression, grammatical errors, etc.

Back then she was always in pain. Everyday was something new, something to not look forward to. She had her hiding places. One place was under the bed, another was the closet, but the hiding place she used most of all was the one she used within herself. She would block everything out, her face contorted into one of sadness and hurt as she would close off from the world as her father would yell at her, blaming her for everything as her mother wouldn't be around as her sister would already be moved out and living her own life as she would try her best to keep the tears from falling.

And it would be in the quiet times of the day when she would be left alone that she would think of death. She would think how easy it would be to just die. She would plan it out too.

Two ways of dying always came to mind.

One way would be swallowing the assortment of pills that she had gathered over the years from various prescriptions that she had, or her parents had.

Another would be grabbing one of her dad's guns and placing the barrel in her mouth.

She would look in the mirror and make a thoughtful face. Her expression etched into one of "yeah that could work."

She would always stop herself though. Never following through.

All thanks to one friend who stuck by her side through thick and thin. It was always a beautiful thing to have that one person who saves you from that darkness, and she was lucky enough to have found that person. Or maybe he found her?

She could remember the first time she met him. It was raining, she had ran away from home in hopes of getting away and finding some sort of peace if only for an hour. Though, she knew that once she goes back home that she will get yelled at for leaving without permission.

"Why are you sitting in the rain?"

The feeling of the rain had stopped altogether when the voice broke her out of her thoughts. It was weird. Did it stop raining? When she looked up that was when she first met Gepard, his hand wrapped tightly around an umbrella's handle, shielding her away from the rain.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked why, Gepard?!"

Her lips quivered as she stood in front of his desk, "You, I trusted you. You were supposed to be my friend. Not someone who backstabs me just so I could run to you whenever you wanted!"

A few days had passed since her date with Dan Heng, and as time slowly ticked by, she had finally decided to confront Gepard. Granted, the interaction went better in her head. That morning she had rehearsed her script inside her head multiple times. Though, as she found herself standing in front of the man who helped cause her problems, well, she couldn't help but to feel how her heart began to break.

"I expected Sampo to pull a fast one on me, but not you. Anyone but you."

"Y/n, I-"

"Stop."

Her voice cut him off. Her tone is sharp. She steadied her breathing, her posture straightening as she finally decided what to do.

"I still want to be your friend. You helped me back then. Saved me even. I knew I would have been gone a long time ago if it wasn't for you. But right now...I think we should spend time away from each other."

"For how long?"

"Until I forgive you...and honestly...it probably won't be for a long time. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to take my leave, and Gepard?"

"Yes?"

"You should really think about what you're doing here."

"What, what do you mean?"

"You're a silvermane guard and yet you hurt me, Gepard. So you should decide. Did you come into power to get what you want without any regard for people's lives, or did you become a guard to save people?"

"Don't go y/n!"

"Goodbye, Gepard."

She left. The door shut almost silently behind her. It physically hurt her to leave him there. To say that she didn't want to see him again until she deemed it right. It hurt so much. But, he betrayed her. What else was she supposed to do?

Pulling out her phone as she walked down the long hallway, she dialed Dan Heng's phone number.

"Hey," she said quietly when he answered.

"What's wrong?"

She smiled, seems he noticed immediately that something wasn't right with her.

"I talked to Gepard and I ... I broke things off with him. I told him I didn't want to see him again until I was ready."

"Are you still there?"

"Yeah...if it's not too much trouble can you come pick me up? I really want you to hold me right now."

"I'll be there soon."

"Thank you, Dan Heng."

"Of course, see you soon, Y/n."

"See you soon."

When she ended the call and put her phone away, she didn't see the person rounding the corner causing them both to run smack dab into each other.

"Sorry about that, Miss."

"No, no! It's my fault! I wasn't watching where I was going!"

Looking up, y/n opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

"You- You're Robin!!"

She giggled, "the one and only!"

"Sister, is everything alright?"

Y/n's mouth stayed hanging open as Robin's hot older brother came around the corner too. Sunday. The two were famous. Granted, they were famous for different things, but famous nonetheless. And y/n was granted the greatest of honors by standing right in front of them. Her previous turmoil was temporarily forgotten as her eyes were blessed by the sight of angels.

Heh, too bad she passed out from the shock a second later.

"Oh dear," Robin said as she watched her brother catch y/n. The two siblings looked at one another before smiling, "I really think you should have stayed behind the corner. You know what happens when people see the both of us at the same time. They always pass out."

"I'll have to apologize when she wakes up."