forty one

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Warnings | Blade is a mess and is confused about how he is supposed to feel about you

“This way.”

Blade tugged her along. His lips pulled into a grim line as she trailed after him. Her free hand wiping away at her tear-stained face. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t face the Stellaron Hunters like she wanted to. She had this whole plan of not burdening Dan Heng anymore, and to somehow get herself out of the binding contract she had with Kafka, and her boss Elio. She-

She felt herself get pulled harshly. Her back slamming hard into the concrete wall as Blade had pulled them both into an alleyway, safe from any prying eyes.

“Stop crying.”

She couldn’t. It all felt too suffocating. Ever since she took up that job that Dan Heng gave to her… it felt like everything was falling apart. She got into temporary debt, found out she was involved in a money laundering scam, was fired from the same job but still needed it since she was in a contract with the company who owned it, was going to be on trial with the IPC but was let go thanks to someone named Aventurine, was harassed by her parents because they came looking for her again, and so much more. She just couldn’t take it anymore. The only good thing that came out of this was ending up with Dan Heng.

And deep down, she knew that if she had gone into that building with Kafka, she wouldn’t come out the same ever again.

“Mmm sorry, but I- I can’t stop.”

She had raised both of her hands to her face and tried to wipe away the tears, but true to her words they wouldn’t stop flowing. Her head ached, her nose felt all stuffy and runny, her cheeks felt hot and her eyes all wet and bubbly with tears.

“I’m sorry, I ‘m sorry, I’m-“

“Enough,stop. Stop crying,” this time, Blade’s demands almost sounded softer. As if he was wearing himself down. His hands slowly coming up and resting on her shoulders, “stop it. Do you realize what I’ve just done for you? I was supposed to escort you into that building.”

She felt his hands slowly let go of her shoulders and she immediately tensed up when she felt his palms rest against her neck, his fingers grazing her pulse before his hands shifted up a bit more to grab at her wrists. And with a harsh grip she felt him pull her hands away from her face so that she was looking up at him. His eyes holding an emotion she didn’t know he had.

“Granted, I was the one who put you into this situation.”

“What- what do you mean?”

“I was the one who got you fired.”

“…huh? You got me…fired?”

She frowned at him, confusion swirling behind her irises, “why? I don’t understand. Blade, you-“

“I wanted control. It’s like I said before. I don’t know if I want to hurt you or not. Ever since I heard you sing and saw you on that stage. I wanted control over you. And I felt like I was losing what little control I had.

“I don’t understand…why me?”

Blade tightened his grip on your wrists. It felt like he was bruising the skin to her. The feeling made her wince as she tried to pull away from him, but to no avail-he was much stronger than her, “Blade-“

“Do you know what it’s like to be alone for centuries?”

She shook her head no.

“Do you know what its like to not have any control over yourself? To not understand why certain things are happening to you and to you alone?”

She shook her head again, unable to find the words to speak.

“When I heard you sing for the first time, I felt at peace. It finally felt like I was in control. The mara was taking over. Kafka wasn’t using her abilities on me. I felt at peace, more than I ever had. And it felt like I was losing that.”

“Did you have to get me fired though? It felt like I was losing everything…”

“I did it in hopes that you would come to me. Though, I failed to realize the lengths Dan Heng would go.”

“What are you talking about?”

Her breath hitched when he let go of one of her wrists. His hand started to reach for her face, making her flinch away, but Blade merely made her look back at him anyway. His fingers digging harshly into her cheeks, “I truly do pity you, because you don’t realize just how far he will go. He’s probably worse than me, now that I think about it…”

She felt how he caresses his thumb against her cheek. His touch is almost comforting.

“Why…me? You didn’t answer my question…,” she was hesitant to ask it She understood he wanted control. That her voice soothed him to some degree. But it still didn’t make sense to her. None of it did.

“You’ll understand soon enough, angel. For now, however, the others will be searching for you, and I can’t promise your safety,” he let go of her cheeks but still held one of her wrists so he could pull her along again.

“I don’t understand you at all Blade. One second, you’re cruel, mean, and even degrading. You’re like the typical villain of a story, but then…suddenly you’re acting all nice. You help me and … try to comfort me. And then there’s everything you just said to me…”

“You’ll understand it all soon.”

“And what is it am I supposed to understand? To hurt me or to help me, you need to make up your mind, Blade!”

She was scared, she had her own problems. Her won turmoil. But it was hard to ignore when someone like Blade saves you from a panic attack.

“Just keep your mouth shut before I change my mind in helping you.”

“Then where are you taking me?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

pure imagination || dan heng, jing yuan, & blade ✓Where stories live. Discover now