Every hard shell will break sometime

Suck my dick whenever I want

Hello there!
There are probably a lot of stories that deal with this topic already but the gallavich fandom is kinda huge, therefore it's pretty much impossible to read all of the fan fictions. This is my try to fill the gaps from the gallavich reunion in season 4. You can see how something changes in mickeys behavior, you can tell that he is much more serious with Ian than he is the seasons before. I wanna dive into that and explore what might have changed inside his brain for feeling that way! There just a lot of things that must've happened between these two, that we didn't get to see.  Also I've thought it might be interesting (or realistic even) to write something that shows their vulnerability and insecurities (also regarding their sex life). Which makes also sense because Mickey, until some point, is pretty insecure with his sexuality. (And I am also not the best at writing sexy porn lol)

And also, English is not my first language, therefore I'm sorry for any upcoming grammar or spelling mistakes!
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Mickey never blew anyone. Nor that he did anything similar with a girl. He didn't do that kind of service stuff when it came to fucking. All he ever focused on was getting himself off. Or, when it came to juvie, showing dominance in some kind. The kind of way you learn to do it in prison, because you don't wanna end up being anyone's bitch. So yeah, he had to do that. And that was of course the only reason he banged dudes in there. But it was mostly getting himself off, trying to release some of his pressure, some of his tenseness. Maybe it was kinda selfish, and he certainly knew that, but life itself didn't really have anything to offer for him. Therefore he figured it was only fair. All people he knew were selfish assholes who didn't gave a single shit about anyone else but them. He learned to fight for himself at a way too young age, because he knew at the end of the day there would no one else but him. Nobody ever gave a single fuck about him, and he got used to it. So much, that it felt itchy, wrong even, when a special someone all of the sudden started to do so. He couldn't believe it, no, and he wouldn't make himself believe it even if he wanted to. His brain was fucked up, he already knew that, but the first time this issue got clearer than a summers sky was the foggy winters day Ian left for the army.

                                    ~~~~~~

"You comin' back?", Mickey asks, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. „Depends", Ian answers provocatively and mickeys heart stops for a moment. "Will you suck my suck my dick whenever I want?"

"Fuck off.", Mickey snorts. The hell he will do. Mickey doesn't do shit like this. Ian continues writing in his stupid notebook, ignoring Mickey on purpose. Mickey tries to collect his thoughts, to collect himself even. "What you writin'?", it's a lame ass deflection, he actually doesn't give a shit about this. At least not at the moment.

"Stuff, notes, ideas.", Ian easily says without even looking up to him. He doesn't even bother to ask any further questions, because that's not what fucking matters right now. What fucking matters right know is to make Ian coming back to him. Making him wanna stay with him. That's the only thing that he wants to know right now.

And there is just something about the way Ian looked at him before that makes Mickey kinda considering it. The blowjob. Something that kinda makes him wanna do it. A feeling he never felt before and it's making him fucking insecure. And he hates that. He hates being insecure, he always does, always did, always will. But in the past, he drowned that feeling with a hell lot of violence and cursing, so nobody would ever notice. He wouldn't allow him to feel this way. He wouldn't allow anyone else to see him feeling that way. He built a wall around himself, nobody could ever break down. Except for Ian. He was the first one. The only one.

But now it is different. His walls are at least- but probably much more- than halfway down. He doesn't want to be violent, he doesn't want to throw curses at Gallagher or whatever (which is also really uncommon - but yea) He just really wants Ian to stay. To stay with him, to be with him. He doesn't wanna lose him ever again. He will never forget that day where he couldn't stop Ian from joining the army. How it was impossible for him to say those two words Ian wanted to hear so badly: "Don't go." But instead he just stuttered a shaky "don't" and nothing more would come out of his stupid mouth. His stupid mouth which couldn't do anything else than swearing and cursing. And apparently wasn't able to do anything else.