Jenlisa oneshot Book II

Play with Fire

Please Don't Vote.

Two weeks.

336 hours. 20,160 minutes. 1,209,600 seconds... since I've last seen her.

And dear God, I missed her like hell.

... Not to mention that my body has been rebelling against me, because of my sudden lack of her. Every little thing that reminded me of her- even the smell of freesia in the air- made a particular part of my anatomy ache in discomfort. Did I mention how many times I beat off to a picture of her during the past two weeks?

— Maybe you don't want to know.

27 times.

I had taken a buisness trip for my father's company, occupying my time for the past two weeks. My valuable, precious time— with the only person in my life that held a significant value...

What dawned on me was that I hadn't told her that I was leaving. Our last... meeting... when I had come to her house to find that she was home alone... didn't go as planned. I tired to be in control of myself, unlike so many other times... when making an effort just wasn't worth it. I came over that night to tell her that I was leaving... but I never got to telling her... I—

I... took advantage of her... again.

I cannot completely describe what happened. But what I felt... ohhh... My body filled with such a raw, primal need, that I couldn't control myself. I never knew a desire for something could be that strong. I fucked her senselessly. I loved her, Christ— I loved her so much it hurt. I wanted her to know.

I wanted her to feel what I didn't have the courage to say.

And as I laid awake that night, watching her sleep, watching her creamy skin bask in the moonlight... I felt ashamed. She hadn't even tried to stop me, I realized. She hadn't spoken a word to signal me to stop. She encouraged me. She wanted more... moremoremoremore...

-x-

"I'm sorry, Jennie..." I whispered, caressing her sleeping face.

She looked celestial in the moonlight.

Jennie smiled as my hand rested on her cheek. I shouldn't have done this. It always turns out this way... This was a mistake. I forced her to—

I pulled my hand away quickly, disgusted with myself. I ran a hand through my hair and closed my eyes. I inched as far away from her on the bed as I could.

Stay away... stay away... stay away...

I couldn't control myself when it came to her. Why couldn't I tell her I loved her? Maybe I was afraid of... being rejected?

I got up out of bed and sat at the edge, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. I hated myself for being such a coward, but at the same time...

... I hated not having the strength to just walk away forever, either.

I dressed quickly and pressed my lips to her forehead.

"Forgive me, Jennie..." I murmured against her skin.

"Lisa..." She was asleep. "Don't... leave... again..."

My blood ran cold. Had she known I was leaving?... She knew I had to. Before he came home—

"... please..." she whimpered, so desperately, that I almost laid right back next to her.

"I can't stay," I replied softly, frowning down at her. "I'll be back soon..."

She smiled and continued her slumber.