Lying To You {a.i}

Chapter 8

Hope y'all enjoy!!

Before you read, this chapter may be a little triggering. If you're sensitive to the topic of depression or self inflicted pain, then you can skip ahead to the next chapter when it's posted.

I'm so sorry if this upsets anyone! And a quick reminder, I'm only a message away if you ever need anyone to talk to.

Love you all!!!

••••

"Monique?" I called out, taking my jacket off. There was no reply.

"Monique, you home?" I tried again, but still no reply.

I walked to my room, chucking my stuff on my bed and looking around. The house seemed so empty without Monique, it was kind of eerie.

I glanced at my phone as it buzzed; it was from Ash.

From: Ash
Hey, sorry about today. You good?

I didn't reply, I left the message open as I walked to my bathroom, running my hands through my hair.

As I looked to the mirror, I couldn't hold it in anymore. The tears streamed down my face, running down my neck. I slid to the floor, tucking my knees up to my chest and sobbing into the fabric of my leggings.

I was shaking like crazy and my body hiccuped with each choking sob. I haven't felt this low in a while.
Since I'd met Ash, really. And now it's just crashing down on me, one of the heaviest loads my body's ever had to hold.

I feel miserable, a lonely, heartbreaking kind of miserable, the deadly kind of miserable that lead me to suicide attempts. The kind that you couldn't shake from your body for hours- days even. Months.

I gripped my hair, tugging at the routes endlessly until my scalp was tingling.

I needed something. I needed pain, I needed it now.

I stumbled to my feet, unbalanced, walking to my room. My head was spinning, I was sure I was going to fall over any second.

I walked to my bedside cabinet, opening the drawer and taking out the sharpener with the loose blade only just screwed on. I picked at it until the blade fell off, landing on my thigh.

Picking it up between my index and thumb, I rolled my sleeve up, staring at it as I did so. The tears dropped on my skin, rolling down my thigh to the ground.

•

That night, I woke up from an annoying tapping sound coming from my window.

I shot up immediately, staring at the closed curtain. The noise happened again.

Oh god, please don't let it be a murderer or a ghost or worse, Luke.

I climbed out of bed, slowly walking towards the window. That's when I heard a familiar voice.

"Jesus christ, wake up Aubry."

I opened the curtains, staring out the window directly at Ashton. He awkwardly waved, giving me a soft smile that made my heart flutter.

I opened the window for him.

"Ash, what are you doing here?" I whispered, grabbing his hand as I let him through. He stumbled in.

"You weren't replying to me, I wanted to see if you were okay." He said nonchalantly, straightening out his clothes.

"You couldn't wait until tomorrow to check up on me?" I softly said, shutting my window. He looked around my room, softly smiling as he nodded.