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I look over at Ravi slightly confused. I would soon realize that ant was glaring daggers at me. God I wish I put him in the ground to. He's so obsessed with being a jackass to me it's insane. He has literally sent me emails about how I shouldn't come back to Fairview. God he might be the next person to get out into the ground.
Lauren's voice snaps me back to reality. "Pip I'm sorry for how we last talked. It's just, they way you changed when Jamie disappear scared us." I look at her dumbfounded. I get how I could be 'scary' but what the fuck. "Lauren what do you mean. Ant literally accused me, ravi, Connor, and Jamie of setting it up!"
God I could just put her in the ground to and get away with it. It's not like anyone would care if she did die. She's just a girl who's breathing air. God no what am I thinking?! I get I've changed but what am I thinking.. I should probably go before anything happens.
I turn to leave and I head toward my car but Ravi follows behind me and before I can get into my car he grabs my hand. I turn and look up at him. God I missed the way he looked at me. He cups my face in his hands and kisses me. He really kisses me. Kisses me like nothing ever happened between us. Like I didn't kill Jason. God I love him so much
I pull back and look at Ravi slightly stunned. He's looking at me like he's in love with me. I mean he is but he shouldn't. I'm not good for him. It's like he's sal and in Andie. She wasn't really good for sal just like im not really good for Ravi. I love Ravi so much but I killed a man and so far I've gotten away with it. Who knows what will happen in the future? I could get caught and bring him down with me. I don't want that.
I look at Ravi and get into my car and shut the door. I can't stand the fact that I can't stay away from him. I hate it so much. And the fact that he can't stay away from me either makes me want to sob.he deserves the world. If he was the sun I was the moon. I'm a complete opposite of him, just like andie and sal.
Ravi looks at me through my window and I smile softly. I then turn my engine on and drive away. God why does Ravi have to look at me like that? Like he's so desperately in love with me? I get that he is but please. The way he looks at me makes me think I'm a good person.
When I get home I immediately go to my room and put back the little bit of stuff I brought with me to collage. When I open my closet and look at my shoes I see the bleached shoes and I'm immediately reminded of him. The jackass that I put in the ground. God if only I hadn't even looked into Andies murder case I would still be normal.
I pick up the shoes and I look at them. They don't look like they've been messed with since I left so that's a good sign. I keep thinking of how Lauren called me 'scary'. I mean I could show her scary if that's what she wants. She called me scary I can show her scary.
No. What am I thinking? I'm noting going to act like a syco. I can't. I would seem suspicious because I just came back and I'm acting weird. I can't take my mind off the fact that Ravi helped me get away with murder. But every time I think of it if feel sick to my stomach when I remember the fact that Jason took my headphones as a trophy. I'm glad I put him in the ground.
I feel so bad for andie and Becca. The fact that andie knew what her dad was makes me sick. And everything she did was for Becca. God this all makes me sick. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I walk over and open it and I see Ravi standing in front of me.
I smile softly at him and I step aside so he can come in. The moment he steps in I close the door and turn to him. "Yes Ravi?" I ask as I'm eyeing the bleached converse on the ground. "Sarge, are you okay? And please be honest with me.."
I stare at him completely stunned. All I want is to collapse into his arms and cry. I feel so bad for how we last talked. God I wish I could tell him all of this but that would be to much to take in. I can't just drop all of this on him. He'll feel so much more guilty and it will be my fault.
"Yes Ravi I'm okay." I lie
"No you're not."
I walk over to him and I look up at him and whisper "do you really want to know how I'm feeling..?" He only nods but I feel his hands go to my waist. I let out a sigh and I look to the ground. "God Ravi I'm not okay. I feel so bad for how we last talked. I missed you so much." I can feel the tears growing in my eyes as I say the words.
Before I even know it tears are running down my face, and Ravi's holding me with out saying a word. We just stand there like that. Him hugging me and me crying in his arms. We don't move ore day anything. The only sound is the sound of my crying. God why can't I pull myself together?
xxxxxx IM SO SORRY THAT I HAVNT BEEN UPLOADING AT ALL🙏🏼 I lit have map prep next week and the week after so the chapters will be coming in slow in so sorry😖 but I hope you liked this chapter and yes I'm the yapper friend I can't help it😼
