You Can Hear It In The Silence

Chapter 28

Louis tapped his fingers on the steering wheel at a rapid pace. He should have never told Harry he'd pick him up. He just hadn't been thinking, and no one else cared where Harry was. But they'd been right. Harry was an adult. Because Louis had told him that he'd get him, he couldn't just go home. Besides, it would be fine. They'd managed to get to Harry's parents and back without talking, and at least this time, they were kind of talking. Harry was, at least.

Even when he was still a blur of a person, Louis could tell it was Harry in front of him, leaning against the sign stating the university's sign, staring down at his phone. He glanced up moments before Louis pulled up alongside him and grinned.

"Hey." Harry got in and then placed his backpack between his legs.

Louis stared out the front window and waited to hear the click of Harry's seat belt.

"I said, 'Hey'." Harry's voice was light, even though the words felt heavy.

"I heard you."

"I know." Louis didn't need to look at him to know he was grinning because he heard it in his voice.

After he pulled back onto the road, he glanced at Harry, who, as he'd suspected, was watching him. "Why are you looking at me, you weirdo?" Louis asked after he forced his attention back to the traffic.

"Well, firstly, I just like looking at you." As Harry said it, Louis felt his cheeks burn. "And secondly, I'm waiting for you to say hi back."

Louis sighed. Harry couldn't just keep getting away with saying shit like that. "You know what?"

"What?" The lightness in his voice was still there, and it pissed Louis the fuck off.

"I think I preferred the old you."

"Oh."

And yeah, the lightness leaving didn't help at all. In fact, it just made Louis feel like shit. When Harry didn't say anything, Louis glanced at him, and he was looking out his own window. "No." Louis sighed, mainly at himself. "That's not true."

"Why'd you say it then?"

Louis ran his shaky hand through his hair. "I don't know. This you makes everything harder."

Harry hummed. "I mean, I'm not sure the other me made it much easier for you either. Otherwise, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"You think it's a mess?"

A humourless laugh escaped Harry's lips. "Yeah. Why, what would you call it?"

"What about it is a mess?" Louis pushed, mainly wanting to see if Harry would answer. Harry was quiet for a few seconds, and maybe Louis had finally won.

"Well," Harry started, and Louis held in his groan, "I guess, I just, I don't know. This isn't what I want. And I don't know what you want, but I assume it's not this. So, that makes it a mess, doesn't it?"

It would be really great if Harry could stop actually answering his questions. "Why'd you leave?" Louis glanced at him, and his shoulders slumped. Maybe Louis had finally won and found a question he wouldn't answer. Why the fuck didn't it feel like a win.

"Because, I mean, I feel like I've told you. But it's okay. I can answer again." Harry said it so softly that Louis wasn't sure whether he was talking to Louis or himself. Harry straightened up. "I thought it would be easier."

"Yeah," Louis said. "You have said that before. I just don't understand how it would have."

"Oh," Harry said. "I guess I just, like, this is hard, yeah? For me, at least. Like being around you but not... well, I don't know. But I am sorry. I clearly made the wrong choice."