Ch.16: Convince Me

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“Why did you leave?” Natalie asked. She closed Nneka’s bedroom door, seeing her lying on her bed facing the ceiling.
“What’s the point?” Nneka asked.
“Hello…” Natalie reached for a chair and pulled it up to the bed. “This is a golden opportunity. A once-in-a-lifetime thing, it’s exciting!”
“Exciting,” Nneka scoffed. She rolled over, face dug into her pink sheets. “And for who exactly?” Her words came out incoherent.
“What?” Natalie asked.
Nneka sighed. Sitting up, she faced her. “I said for who exactly?”
“For you?”
“I don’t think you understand."Nneka rubbed her eyes then lightly crawled her face until her hands rested on her lap. "You want me to be comfortable with strange men who keep phrases I barely know. And listen to a guy who has everyone even me believing that these men are my soulmates reincarnated.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Doesn’t that sound at least a little bit off? I mean think about it. What exactly does this all mean? That in a different timeline I have one maybe two of them fighting over me in some kinda love triangle, while the other two are where…in heaven waiting for their turn?”
“I guess-”
“And what does that mean for me? That I’m doomed to repeat this cycle over and over again. I mean do we even have free will if all of this is decided? Like what even is this?”
It was a crisis, and the seeds of doubt had already planned themselves in Nneka.
She was thinking too much. From the beginning on how Javi had approached her, given the fact that she walked up to him, it was still all planned.
The way her friends and her had planned to go to Spain for years and years and finally that year, they did. And how her ability to never be on time had her meeting half the pair in a country they were also visiting.
And then her love for food trapped her in another meeting with the third member and she only accepted it because her tooth was hurting.
And then back to the beginning…Javier.
She had never believed in coincidence, fate even destiny. But when it was staring her back in the face with a detailed web of her past and present entangled in a web, how could she deny it? It was right there.
Nneka felt her eyes water, but quickly shut them down.
Natalie on the other hand sat spinning in the chair for a while. Letting the silence between them grow until she thought of something.
She moved closer to her and took her hands. “What exactly are you afraid of?” she asked.
Nneka looked away.
“Are you afraid they’re not your type? Of love? Or what you’ll become?”
She didn’t speak.
Natalie nodded. Her voice was low and reassuring as she asked, “Are you afraid of everything?”
Nneka snatched her hand back, “No.”
It was quick and it clearly made it clear it was true. There was more underneath the surface that made her afraid, and insecurity seemed to be the root cause.
Nneka looked up at Natalie. Her eyes were soft glowing under the fluorescent bedroom light, while her lips curled up. “What…what if they don’t like me?”
Natalie sighed, letting go and leaning back on the chair as she rubbed her hands on her lap. “You’re afraid you’re not worth all the attention.”
Nneka agreed, nodding slowly as she fell down onto her bed. “I know it’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” she told her. “Your feelings are valid, and I can’t believe I didn’t think about that.”
“What do I do? I feel like an imposter, like a bad prize. Like when you buy a mystery box knowing it’s going to be a WOW and SHOCKER, but you open it up, you get me.”
“And you’re amazing,” Natalie said cupping her face. “Don’t let this make you think less than yourself. If they can’t see how amazing you are, then you rule them out. Not the other way around, you rule them out. Okay?” Nneka nodded. Her cheeks squished while her tears fell down on Natalie’s hands. Natalie wiped them off, and let go.
“Now…” she sighed standing up. “Have fun.”
Natalie closed the door, and Nneka sat there all alone. She sat thinking and processing. Yes, what Natalie said made her happy. She felt warm and clear-headed for the most part, but the actual attempt was next.
And God was it scary.
She paced around the room, calming and addressing the issue at hand.
What Natalie said was absolutely right.
She was literally the chosen one in simpler terms.
And letting fear of rejection hold her back from an experience like this was very wrong of her. She thought about the girls in the world. Women who would love to trade places for her. Girls who read romance books or reverse harems. She was living those stories, and they were…well 3 out of 4 of them were seemingly okay with it.
What more convincing did she need? Nneka walked out to the living room.
No one was there.
Then to Natalie’s room. She knocked shly, then entered. Natalie had her reading glasses as she was reading over some documents confused.
When the door opened, she looked at her and then smiled.
“Did you make your decision?” She asked Nneka.
Nneka nodded. Hands on her hips, she grinned. “On with the men. Who’s my first date?”
“Perfect.”

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As promised, chapter 16.
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