Dreams

Because I... Part 4- Bangchan

I woke up and I was in someone's arms. I looked up to see Bangchan holding me. I smiled before I cuddled into his side and he held me closer. He kissed my forehead still sleeping. I fell right back asleep.

I took a week to recover. And the entire group made sure to come over and help me learn whatever I missed in school. I was really grateful for them. The night before school Han and Seungmin had stayed over late. "So, how'd it go with Channie hyung?" Han asked ready for some sort of gossip. "He confessed and so did I." I said softly. "Then why the long face?" Seungmin asked. "Because he called me names and he didn't care about what happened back then." "What exactly happened back then?" Han asked.

Flashback:

It was Chan's birthday. He was having a party. It was really fun and enjoyable with the group. We were hanging around till late too. Chan had walked out for a little while and I thought this was the time to tell him. 

I had a crush on him for a long time now. I trully loved him. We were close and we did flirt with each other but, I had trully caught feelings and I felt like telling him. So, I walked out and went to him. He was sitting my poolside and he was looking up at the stars. 

"Hey." I said as I stood next to where he was sitting. "Mind if I sit down?" I asked. "No not at all." He said and smiled. I sat down and looked up at the stars with him. I was delaying. My mind yelled at me to tell him.

"Chan?"  "Hmm?" "I need  to tell you something." I told him. He turned around to look at me. "Is every thing okay?" He asked. "Yes. It's just that I need to tell you and confess before it was too late." I said. "What is it?" "I like you more than a friend Chan." I told him. "What?" "I like you a lot." "You like me?" "Yes." "Why?" he asked. "Because seeing you smile is the only thing I ever want to see, even if it is not because of me. I love seeing you happy. I love being in your presence. I love your jokes. I hate how you think you don't deserve love. I hate how you think it's okay to be alone. I can't stop myself from walking into a room and try to find you. I don't wish to be friends, I wish to be more. I wish to be able to hold you in my arms and tell you everything is going to be fine even if you think it isn't. I want you to know that I am here ready and already loving you, just the way you are."  "Allora I--- I am moving to Australia with the boys." He said.

My heart stopped. The air didn't reach my lungs. "What?" I asked shocked. "We are going to Australia in one day." He said. I frowned as I got up from the seat. "Are you pulling a prank or something? If you really don't like me back just say no. I will move back and maybe just be friends with you. I won't cross the line and I'll understand. Don't try to play a cruel joke on me thinking it will be funny." I told him. He stood and came to me. Towering over me. "I am not lying I really am going." "Then why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't the guys tell me?" I asked getting upset. "Because I told them not to?" "Why?" "Because you'll be upset." "And what do you think I am feeling now?" I asked. 

"I didn't tell you because..." "Because what?" I asked. "I don't know." "That's impossible. There is a reason you don't want to tell me." I said. "I--" "You know what I don't care!" I huffed before walking away. I was pulled back by my elbow and I looked into Chan's eyes. A shadow cast over them deep with emotion. He slid his hand around my waist and pulled me closer. "Because you'll look sad and I can't stand it." He answered, "I hate the fact that you will be sad because of me. I hate the fact that your smile that been gracing everyone with so much energy and so much love will disappear. The twinkle in your eyes will be taken over by the shadow. I hate that I will be the cause of that." "Won't I have been able to prepare for this moment of leaving better if I knew sooner?" "No, it would be a slow death for me. Cause every day closer to the time I have to leave your twinkle would be becoming lighter and darker. I didn't want to leave without seeing it shine just the way I like it before I leave."