Dilemma & Sanity (Harry Styles × Cara Delevingne)

5. Tattoos

Chapter Five 

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-Harry's point of view

"So, where do you wanna go?" She asked me while we were just chilling inside my treehouse thingy. I shrugged and looked at her with a smile.

"I dunno, wherever you wanna go." I said and she thought for a minute. "Aha! I know a place where we can spend our day, Curly." She said with a cute smile. I sat up excitedly.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" I stood up and she did too. She held my hand and we went out my treehouse. 

I admit, my heart beat rapidly once again. I don't even know what is happening to me. Whenever we touch, I always have this feeling of nervousness, overly-happiness and I also felt really alive.

Like, I don't want this day to end. I won't mind where we go, just being with her is enough. Enough to make me happy and make me feel like heaven. 

"Hey, are you listening to me, Curly Curls?" She waved her hand in front of my face. I shook my head and looked at her. "Sorry, what are you saying?" I asked her and she laughed at me.
She laughed for a good five minutes and I just looked at her with a smile. Just by seeing her happy, makes me feel happy inside too. What is wrong with me though? "Y-Your face! Y-You're like, 'Oh, sorry, what're you sayin'?" She mimicked me in a very horrible way, but it's okay, she's still cute.

"You mimicked me horribly!" I exclaimed and laughed at her. "But that's what you sound like! Don't act like it's not true." She said and lightly chuckled at me. I chuckled at her also and shrugged in the end.

"Well, true." I agreed and put my hands inside the pockets of my jeans. "Hey, Curly! I have an idea!" She exclaimed and before I could even ask what is it, she immediately dragged me and started to run.

"Oops! Sorry! Sorry! I am really sorry!" I kept saying to the people whom I bumped with. And thankfully, she finally slowed down a bit and we stopped at a tattoo parlor.

We looked at each other but we have different reactions. She have an excited one but I have a nervous one. I'm not nervous because I have never done a tattoo on my skin. Believe me, I have. A couple times already and this tattoo parlor has been like one of my bestfriends.

I'm friends with the workers here. But I'm nervous because I don't want Jacky to know about it. My tattoos have different and deep meanings to it. I put them on my skin to remind me what I have been through and what are my goals in the future.

I don't want Jacky to know what is my past. It's just, too embarassing to tell, I think? And I don't want her to pity me. I just, I don't want to. "Um, maybe we should go there instead, Jacky." I said but she yanked my arm and went inside.

"Oh, hi Max!" Jacky greeted the tattoo artist whom I know also. "Hi Jacky! Long time no see, eh?" He greeted back in a very strong British accent. Max is a very big guy. He has a semi-bald head and have piercing on his nosetrills and bottom lip.

But let me tell you, he is the sweetest guy I know. When I first met him, I thought he was gonna beat me up but he didn't and he used to tell me about his wife and children, his childhood and everything. He also knows the reason why I got myself some tattoos and the stories behind them.

"Wait, is that you, Harry?" Oh shit, he noticed me. My eyes widened and I looked up. I covered my nervousness with a smile. "Oh, hey Max. Didn't see you there." I mumbled in the end and 'bro' hugged him. "Didn't see you too for quite a long time. We should catch up, Harry yeah?" He said with a smile and I just nodded.

"You know him?" Jacky whispered at me. But before I could even answer back, Max interrupted me. "So, what do you wanna have this time?" Max asked us and offered a book full of tattoos in it.

We both sat down and put the book on our lap. "What do you want to get, Curly?" Jacky asked me and I shifted nervously. "I-I dunno, whatever floats your boat, Jacky." I replied while fiddling my fingers.

Why am I so nervous when I'm around her? I know that this time, it's not about the tattoos anymore. But my heart is pounding so fast that it could just burst out of my chest. She leaned closer and linked her arms with mine.

"Max!" She called out and Max immediately snapped his head to our direction. "We want to have our names tattooed on each other. Is that okay with you, Curly?" She asked me and I gulped. She's so close to me and I don't know if I could even breathe properly right now. "Y-Yeah, s-sure." I stuttered and Jacky nodded at Max with a smile.

We both stood up and Jacky went to Rose, a tattoo artist also and she took a seat beside her. Meanwhile, I'm stuck again with Max. I sat beside him while he prepared all the things he needed.

"You like her, don't you?" Max suddenly asked me. I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. "No! I mean, yes! I mean, what? No!" I said way too loud for her to hear. She looked at us. "You okay there, Curly?" She asked me. "U-Uh, y-yeah." I answered. "See? You like her." Max whispered at me while smiling at the same time.

"No, I don't!" I whisper-yelled at him. "That's the first stage, Harry. First, you deny it. 'Cause you just can't accept the fact that you have a crush on your bestfriend because you know that if you just let it manipulate you, you might lose a friend." He said and started to draw Jaquilyn's name on my wrist. "H-How did you know that?" I asked him, quite shocked and amused at the same time.

He shrugged. "I've been there, Harry. That's what I first felt when I'm still friends with my wife. And look at us now, we're already married." He's still smiling when he talks about his wife. You can clearly see that he truly loves her.

"I don't know, Max. She's my only friend, I don't want to lose her." I sighed sadly, feeling quite numb for the first time. I just can't imagine the pain I have to go through again when she's gone. I'll be lonely again. My world would be the same again. I don't want to go back there. It's like, she made me see just a glimpse of heaven and took it back.

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