"Your coming back, and its the end if the world." -mitski
this oneshot is inspired by mitskis song i want you but mostly the lyric above 😋😋
tw: depressive episode
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Lucifer was thriving, he was so happy. Its been so long since he's felt true joy, true love. He's with his daughter again, surrounded by people who dont hate him, and most of all, alastor. The light of his day, the highlighted words in his book, his coffee. He dosent know what he'd do without him. He found himself in such a dark hole before, but its like the two were meant to be. Lucifer was alone for many many years, Alastor for more, which it had probably been atleast a century or two since he's had a love, and the two men never thought they'd see the day again where someone would sneak their way into their heart, yet here they are now.
Lucifer find himself looking through a box he never really got the chance to unbox, probably so caught up with his busy life he forgot all about it. Lucifer sat on his bed and pulled the box onto his lap, reaching into it curiosly. First he pulled out a pair of pink boxers with small yellow ducks scattered across which made him gasp. "I've been looking for these!" he exclaimed to himself before setting them to the side, and reaching inside once again. He pulled out random little belongings, until his hands touched something small at the very bottom of the box.
As lucifer pulled it out, he pushed the box to the side and looked at what it was, and it was a polaroid. He noticed some tear stains on it, which he immediately knew what the photos was. he frowned and looked closer, the photo being lucifer on the right, smiling as he held a giggly toddler charlie and Lilith smiling on the left, holding the polaroid. the setting seemed to be in a bed, the little family bundled up in bed, happy.
He stared at it for a moment. things were so.. simple then. He was happy with lilith. He was happy with himself. he was able to wake up without feeling the urge to cry or sleep in a few more hours. he was able to wake up, make breakfast for his family and be happy. He had no troubles in the way. Then, Lilith just left. disappeared. He still questions himself what he did wrong, what he could've done better to keep lilith here, or if shes even alive. But he cant help but also feel anger. She destroyed him. she changed the person he once was. She left him in the dust to care for Charlie himself, and he couldn't. his mental health was already at rock bottom and he'd sulk in his office for days, so charlie left the castle.
A wave of sadness washed over him that he couldnt dry off, he searched for lilith for years until he just couldn't. He resorted to not talking to anyone unless he really had to. And the anger..he had so much potential..they had so much potential. He always wonders what they could've been now. Happy? Maybe another child? But most of all, himself. how happy he would've been now. he wouldn't be zoning out everyday with his mind going crazy, crying in the shower every time, and laying in bed thinking about it every night. grief. its almost like grief, like he's grieving over the life he could've had and the person he could've been if things just stayed okay.
But even then, things weren't exactly perfect. him and lilith weren't perfect. she was never satisfied. Not in a sex way, but not satisfied. he isnt sure what, maybe of him, their family? but they would get into loud arguments every now and then, Lilith breaking something of lucifers or Lucifer burning something of hers, both doing it to be petty. Its just that lilith was always dissatisfied, annoyed, or something happened she didnt like, and she really had to make sure lucifer knew that.
Lucifer just thinks that hes destined to be this way, destined to turn out like shit. was he made this way? was he made to be broken? a loose screw? It almost seems like. Got kicked from heaven, got a damn near bipolar wife who eventually left him in the dust, and became a sad sack of shit. Groaning, Lucifer shifted to lay down, maybe he needs to just sleep it off, perhaps that'll help. But he knew he wouldn't want to get back. he'll want to sulk in bed forever or atleast as long as he can. but that's fine, he just wants to be alone right now. he pulled a couple blankets over himself and grabbed a spare pillow, throwing it at the light switch which luckily enough turned the lights off.
