With Or Without You

22.

Aahana's POV:

Feeling a little light and a little unsettled after my conversation with Karan, I make my way back towards the game room where Hiya and Naina are playing a game of table tennis and Advik is sitting on a sofa at the far end from the tt table preoccupied with his phone.

Deciding on the sofa, I go and sit next to Advik.

He looks up from his phone, a little surprised to see me, "Hey, what's up?"

No wonder he's a bit taken aback. This is the first time we've been alone and not part of a conversation in which everyone else was present.

I sigh, "Nothing much, just had a talk with Karan."

He puts his phone back in his pocket and turns towards me, "Oh yeah? Any idea about what happened? I wanted to go to him immediately but thought it would be best to give him some space for a while. I mean... I've never seen him like that before. Karan is not someone who lets himself get affected by things and certainly not someone who lets people see him like that. When he walked out of here...". He trailed off.

"I know what you mean. Me and Karan, we used to be friends," I explain.

"Seriously? You guys surely don't act like it. Any tension?"

I take a cushion and put it on my lap, getting comfortable, "No, not really. We just sort of drifted apart after a while." I reply.

It's the truth but more like a half-truth. We did drift apart but it was obviously due to his and Teja's breakup and Advik does not know that.

He rolls his eyes at me, "I know they used to be together. You don't have to be so careful with your words."

"Wait, what?!" I say, completely shocked.

"Yeah," he chuckles softly.

"How? Did Karan tell you?"

"He didn't have to. Those guys could not be more obvious if they tried."

"Coming from someone who I did not expect to be very observant in nature, I believe you," I joke.

He smiles. "How long have you known anyway?"

"I was both Tejasswi and Karan's friend while they were dating."

"So you've seen them during that phase? I wonder what they used to be like in a relationship. If this is how they are after breaking up, I'm sure that must have been something," Advik wonders.

A smile reaches my face remembering that period. "You have no idea. They were literally the epitome of happiness. From the crush phase where they used to steal secret glances at each other to their madly in love phase where they were absolutely inseparable, I really thought their relationship would last, you know? I thought it was one for the books," I reveal honestly. "And now, it's heartbreaking to see them in this state. It's like they've lost a part of themselves. I always saw a profound sadness after the breakup in Teja's eyes and now looking at Karan, I can sense the turmoil within him. I can see that love and care is still there, lingering beneath the surface but their circumstances have become a barrier. And I really want to help them but I don't know how to."

Advik says knowingly, "Seeing them hurting affects me too and I would like to help them in whatever way I can but I'm scared to make things inadvertently worse. Not knowing the reason of their breakup truly dampens my thinking process. It's not like I can ask Karan about it. I don't want to put him in a dark place unknowingly."

I smile a little, "That's exactly what I'm going through right now," I tell him.

"Let's do one thing. There's only a few days left before we have to go back so lets try to make them clear out their differences before we leave. I'm not saying that we should push them together because maybe being apart is the best thing for them, at least for now, but I think they need to have a proper conversation about what transpired between them. At least they'll get some much needed closure out of it."

I think about about it for a minute. It's not a bad idea. I think both Karan and Tejasswi really need to talk things out.  If they decide to give it another shot, I'll be their biggest cheerleader but even if not, at least they'll leave from here feeling better and having a clearer understanding of where they stand in each others life.

I forward my hand towards Advik for a handshake, "I'm in. Let's do this."

"Alright!" He grins.

I sit back in my seat, a little lost in thought and ask Advik after a while of companionable silence, "How do you stop caring about someone when the connection is still there?"

I mean how does one navigate through such complexities? After all, it's not just about moving on. It's about letting go of what could have been and there always remains that what if?

What if those two people had decided to give it another shot? Would they have worked out? Would they have made it work? Would they have still been together? Would they have found the happiness they so desperately sought?

Nobody really knows the answer to these things, do they?

Maybe its not always just about finding the right person but also about finding the right person at the right time.

65% of people spend their whole lives looking for that 'right' person at that right time but it doesn't happen.

And isn't that the saddest fucking thing in the world?

I blink away my thoughts and find Advik looking at a distance, smiling sadly.

"Love can be messy, can't it?" he asks.

"I think messy is an understatement," I tell him.

"I thought you had guys falling for you left and right," He says lightly, trying to ease the conversation. "Aahana please marry me, I can't live without you my love!!" He says dramatically, making me burst out laughing.

He lets out a laugh of his own continuing to make weird gestures that only make me grin wider in return.

After our laughter dies down a bit, I begin to speak. "Can I tell you something?" He nods. "Nobody ever wanted me to marry them before. I've been in a lot of relationships but nobody had ever asked and I frankly don't know why they did not. I mean, there had been guys willing to die with me, but nobody had ever been willing to swear to live with me every day for as long as we both had to live. And when I find that person? I'll know  for sure that he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Advik didn't say anything.

He lifted his hand, and I caught it in midair, our fingers linking.

We sat there for a while, watching the sunset and held on.

--------
A/N: So I guess I'm back.
I literally have no excuses to give about why I disappeared again, it's just that I was catching up with life.

I've realised I've been so damn irregular with this book and it must really be difficult for you guys to recall the story after such a huge gap in between so I've decided that I'll follow a schedule from now on. I'll be updating once every two weeks since I also have other stories of mine to catch up with. But I'm hoping that after March I'll have more time on my hands to start writing regularly.

Also, did you guys like Aahana's POV? The story completely revolves around #TejRan but as I've mentioned before that each of my characters will be given a certain amount of weightage and I'd love to share a snippet of their thoughts and feelings as well. Please let me know your thoughts.

QOTD: Do you guys ship Advik and Aahana together? If yes, what would you like their hashtag to be? I think #Advana has a certain ring to it, don't you?

Really sorry again for the long hiatus and I hope you guys liked the update!
Next one: tomorrow

Lots of love,
D