The Light within Darkness

Chapter -1

Present

I stare blankly at people passing by not looking at anything in particular. I close my eyes trying to feel her, for something, anything, a miracle. Tears wells up in my eyes as I take a deep breaths to calm myself down. Loneliness creeps into my heart as I stare at the overwhelming crowd. Why today of all days. I compose myself and give a small smile to Seefa as she passes by me.

I've been thinking about her a lot these days. We never got to bond, never saw each other and now I've lost her forever. Regret fills my heart, I should have fought for her, for me, for our right. If only I could go back in time....bitterness fills me. I am weak, always have been when it came to him. This mate bond that I've always cherished is like noose around my neck now.

"Hello!! Are you alright. Bodil has been trying to get your attention for like five minutes now." Seefa's waved her hands in front of me. My vision cleared as I look at her pretty face. She's tall and beautiful. Anybody can tell that she's not from around here. Human. 

"Yeah I am fine now. I was just feeling a little light headed". "You've spacing out a lot these days. Did you eat breakfast? Do you want to home?" her accent thick. Home. I don't have a home. "Oh no I feel fine now" I give her the biggest smile I could muster as she looks at me suspiciously. I wave at Bodil as I beelined towards the crowd.

"Why is it so crowded today" I muttered while refilling the large mug with ale. Bodil comes around with empty plates. "Right, I don't think I've ever seen this place with so many people. Farce must be excited. Finally his tavern making a profit" Bodil sighs. 

Everyone is so exhausted, there are like thirty people outside, waiting to be served. "Based on few nights" Seefa snorts. "I heard few people taking, I think they're migrating" Seefa whispers, her eyes looking around carefully. "Something about werewolves, the crown and the alpha king" my heart rate spikes as the feeling of icy dread washes over me. "What do you mean".

I look at the crowd, for any familiar face but I don't recognize anyone. Few males wink at me, few give me flying kiss but nothing unusual. I feel like I am being watched. I can't say for sure as my wolf is gone but I can't shake this feeling, call it instinct. No.... I am being paranoid. This is a safe area, only humans live here, secluded from werewolves, surrounded by barren unfertile land so werewolves have no reason to come here. 

They prefer luscious green forest to run and hunt. Every pack is surrounded by huge forest where pack members can run, hunt and mate. Alphas and lunas have their own personal area. Alphas wolves are so sexually charged specially at the beginning of the mating period that they need to mate all the time. We had that too, I wasn't allowed to enter it. 

I still can't shake the feeling of being watched. I've been so cut off from werewolves and their politics or them in general that I've no idea what's going on in the world. My eyes move towards Seefa and Freja in the corner. They're smiling at something the big bald man with bushy beard said although Freja's smile feel little bit forced. 

These men.....they don't look like they're migrating to the west. They're huge, not as big as werewolves but still big as far as humans are concerned and they carry big weapons with them swords, hammer, axes. I don't know what happened out there but I need to be careful. He will not give up that I'm sure about. He'll never give up not until he sees me dead.

I fill few more mugs with ale and pass on to Freja. She's from north I can tell  with her tall height and tanned skin which is surprising because there aren't many humans who reside in the north, only the one that are born to a werewolf family or mate to a wolf. We don't talk much. She keeps to herself, well... so do I. But I still sometimes find her looking in my direction. She's friendly but prefers to keep to herself. I don't know where she lives, she always gives such vague answer whenever anyone asks her that.

"What is up with you today. You've been staring at Freja for like five minutes. It's starting to freak the shit out of her. Are you into Blackmagic or may be you like her. I didn't know you were into women" Seefa says suggestively and barks out loud. I laugh with her. "I can assure you I'm into men although if I had a choice I would have preferred women rather than men". "Is that an invitation" Seefa smiles seductively and trails her hand down my shoulder causing laughter shoot out from both of us. What I didn't notice was the look Freja gave us from across the tavern.

I wave everyone goodbye as I exited through the back door. My body is utterly exhausted today. The air feels chilly today. Thyra. This day always makes me sad. I have been trying so hard to distract myself but it still creeps in my mind. I wish she was here with me. I should have died instead of her. Tears escapes my eyes as painful cries echo in the dead of the night. I kneel down in the middle of the pavement to catch my breath. Not a single living soul around. All these emotions bottled up inside me comes to the surface. I feel dead inside. You should have died instead. His voice echo in my mind. I try to control my breathing as I stumbled my way towards the house. 

The reheated the leftovers from the tavern on the stove. The roast beef looks delicious today but I don't feel like eating at all. I need to find more wood. Winter months are approaching, although they say that winter here is not as harsh as north but I'm practically a human now so I need to find some reinforcements. I was lucky enough to find a habitable cottage but it still needs some work done. I'll ask Bodil may be he can help me.

Sleep is the last thing on my mind as I lay in bed. The sound of crackling fire did nothing to sooth me my heart. It's been 11 years yet it feels like only yesterday. Does he ever think of me. Don't go there. I can't go on like this. This isn't right. I am disrespecting them, their sacrifice.  I won't run anymore. If death comes to me tomorrow then I will accept it with open arms. But I will live like my mother wanted me to. She wouldn't want me to suffer like this.

This human settlement is safe and far away from any packs. Away from him. I've been running so much for years, never settling anywhere for more than few months, that I've forgotten how to live. Werewolves don't stray so far away from packs not even rogue ones. They despise humans or anyone deemed weaker than them.

Thyra...

No matter how much I try not to think about it, she still crawls into my mind. Thyra. My beautiful daughter. Sometimes I'm glad that she's dead. It would have been very painful for her to watch him ignore her entire existence and shower his chosen with all the love and care in the world. He hated me to the existent that he refused to recognize his only daughter.

Thyra was innocent in all of this. This cruel world didn't deserve her. I can still hear her innocent laughter in my head. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. Sometimes I can still feel her presence around me. She's constantly in my head like she never left. I've never thought I would come to love someone more than him.

She's always been a weak child, born prematurely. My body wasn't made to bear a child. She was born when I had lost all the faith in world. My entire world. I thought she will bridge the gap between us but it only widened it. He hated it that I bore him a daughter, he wanted a son, a heir for his throne.

I said a silent prayer hoping that she passed unto the Elysium safely and is with my ancestors now. 

She loved flowers so much that I used to plant all kinds of flowers around her grave every year back then. Ingrid and I would cook all types of delicacies, beef, potatoes, cakes, chicken for the pack. But nobody would eat anything not even omegas. Nobody would risk angering the Alpha. Celestina would announce a huge feast for everyone on this day , the pack members would rather eat her feast than my cooking. I would watch them, laughing, smile at each other, him looking at her, his eyes so smitten, the roar and excitement of the pack. Eventually I stopped doing it.