The Last Wish of Hermes

Chapter 5

When Alicia had left, Bianca began to cry on the bed. Because even though Alicia didn't see it, and it didn't show on the outside, the hole inside of her, where Hermes once had been, was still there. It always would be, consuming her. She'd promised Hermes that she would keep living, but most of the time she didn't know how. She would never let anyone in that close again, she couldn't bear to maybe lose them again. But if she didn't, what kind of life would she have? One of loneliness, just as it had been before she met him. Why did you have to leave?, she whispered into the room.

The grief moved through her, washing down her face with the tears and she calmed down. The emotion passed, disappearing into the weave, at least for now. She dried her tears.

Outside the door, Alicia was walking onto the porch, a tray in her hand. She stopped to listen, but couldn't hear anything from inside the cabin. She pushed the door open.

Here, I didn't know what you liked, so I brought a bit of everything, she said

Thank you, Bianca said.

She took the plate and began to eat in silence. Alicia watched her, sitting in the same position as when she had left, as if she hadn't moved at all. But Alicia could see that Bianca had been crying, and she wondered if she should ask her about it, not knowing if it would cause her to cry more or if it would help. Bianca finished eating, then put the plate to the side and said,

Thank you.

Alicia waited for her to continue, but Bianca had already started to watch the small cabin with that look of serenity and calmness she had seen before. She wasn't even sure she noticed that Alicia was around any longer.

So she resorted to simply being there for her, and she sat down next to her. Jeff had told her that they needed to give Bianca time, to adjust and to calm down from the accident they'd had. Until then, they could only be there for her, but the silence made Alicia uncomfortable and in the end, she asked

How do you feel?

Maybe it had been the wrong thing to say because Bianca's face twisted and all of a sudden she started to cry again. Alicia wanted to run out of the cabin, to get Jeff to help her, but in the end, she forced herself to stay put and keep quiet to not upset Bianca even more.

After a while, Bianca stopped, as suddenly as she had begun, wiping her cheeks. She looked at Alicia.

Thank you for asking, she said.

Alicia looked at her confused, not knowing what to do about her reaction. Maybe it had been the right thing to say in the end, but why, she didn't know. But Bianca seemed, if not happy, at least calmer, and Alicia wondered if it would be okay to ask her their questions now. Or maybe it was better to wait? Bianca had talked about someone called Hermes, who had died. Should she bring it up? She glanced at her. She was watching the room again, her eyes vacant, and not for the first time, Alicia wondered if there was something else behind it all, and not only shock.

She kept glancing at Bianca, wrestling with herself whether to ask her their questions or stay in the uncomfortable silence. In the end, the discomfort won, and she put a hand on Bianca and said,

You said you had lost someone called Hermes?

She waited for Bianca to begin to cry, but to her surprise, a smile lit up Bianca's face instead.