The Last Wish of Hermes

Chapter 6

Something shifted in Bianca after that. It wasn't that she stopped crying, she still often did, sometimes several times a day. But the shock, if that is what it had been, lessened, and she spent less time watching the walls of the cabin. Sometimes, Alicia could even engage her in a conversation that was longer than a couple of words. After several days in the cabin, Alicia began to show her around Einstein. She got to meet the other members and even spent some time on the bridge, where Jeff proudly showed her the console and how it worked. Alicia didn't ask her what had changed, but simply tried to be there for her, in whatever way she could.

But it wasn't only Bianca that changed. Alicia, too, noticed a difference after having worn the suit. The reality she thought she had left behind as the suit faded from her, stayed with her. She couldn't read the mind and heart of Bianca, as she had seen Hermes doing, but the openness she'd experienced that day followed her. She realized even more what Bianca had lost, and what she had to lose by trusting again. It wasn't as easy as Alicia had made it out to be, and even the feeling of family they had on Einstein faded in the light of what she experienced. She tried to explain it, even to herself, but never got any further than saying that it felt like her emotions were closer than before. It didn't really capture it, but the sparkles dancing before her, and the glimmer she swore she could see floating in the air, were difficult to explain in words. You would have thought it was a pleasant experience, but more often than not, she was terrified by the feeling of being naked and exposed. Other times, the suit reality knocked her over, and she floated together with the sparks, and in those times, she never wanted to come out of it.

That's how she'd spent one morning, some weeks after Bianca first had arrived, and maybe that affected what would happen later that day. That afternoon, they sat in the hall in the biosphere, eating dinner with the others. One of the boys, Kim, had taken a liking to Bianca and her almost exotic knowledge and spent most of his time following her around. Despite being 14, he still hadn't let go of the idea that Einstein could be repaired. It was a phase that most children went through, dreaming that they would be able to find a way. But while most of them grew out of it, Kim hadn't. He still sat reading the books from Earth, trying to decipher them and once, he had even tried to understand how to repair the reactor until someone had told him to stop it. He didn't want to cause another accident, did he?

Most of the technicians onboard had died in the accident or its aftermath, and the knowledge of how Einstein worked had been lost. Alicia knew from the logbooks that the members had tried to find a solution, a way to power the ship without turning on the remaining reactor, but in vain. Kim didn't hurt anyone though, and the adults let him be. He would get over it and drop the subject once he realized it wasn't possible.

Now, just like any other day they spent together, he sat next to Bianca, and Alicia could see that he was dying to ask her his questions. He had explicitly been told not to bother her, but Alicia knew that it was becoming an impossible task for him. In the end, he couldn't hold it but burst out

Is your shuttle also powered by nuclear power?

Bianca turned to him.

No, it's powered but the light of the sun and capsuled into liquid that then radiates the vehicle forward.

Kim stared at her, trying to understand what she just had said.

But how does that work!?, he asked

By generating enough power in the matrix, the particles will start to shift in the DreamWorld and that will cause a ripple effect in this space-time continuum. It doesn't mean, though, that future generations won't be able to use that as well.

Alicia shook her head, not understanding anything. Neither did Kim, by the look on his face. He tried again.

And you power the whole ship with that?

No, only the matricula. The nebula is powered by the source of light.

Kim stared at her, his face contorted in an effort to try to understand what she was talking about. Alicia could see his lip starting to shake, and soon tears of frustration rolled down his cheeks. She knew he wanted to understand, but couldn't get what Bianca was saying. On the other hand, Alicia doubted anyone got what Bianca was talking about.

Jeff came over to them.

Come here, my boy, he said.

He put an arm around him, and led him over to his seat. Alicia looked at Bianca.

We should go, she said. Before he comes back.

Bianca nodded, and they left for Alicia's cabin.

Was it the experience from this morning that affected her thoughts as they walked back? She'd dismissed the idea of repairing Einstein countless times, and just like the other members, had settled on that there was nothing they could do about their situation. But that changed with Bianca. Was it possible to repair Einstein? Or maybe charge him? And would Bianca be able to do it, with her knowledge? She wrestled with the idea, not daring to get her hopes up, and still not being able to let it go. She knew it would be difficult to convince the others. The thought of making any changes to Einstein scared them, and in the end many of them preferred to live the life they had, with less power and less comfort, rather than risking another accident.

But Alicia couldn't put the thought away. It couldn't harm to ask, could it? So once they were back in the cabin, and sat down on the bed and she asked

Would you be able to do something with Einstein?

What do you mean?, Bianca replied.

Could you fix him? Or charge him?

Bianca looked at her.

Maybe. It might be possible to charge him with my shuttle.

For a fleeting moment, Alicia wondered why Bianca hadn't said anything, but on the other hand, she didn't seem to function like other people did. It didn't matter now. Maybe it was possible to repair Einstein? Should she tell the others? No, it was best to leave it, to not upset them or get their hopes up. Alicia forgot all caution she'd had and asked,

Can... can we try to do it now?

Okay, Bianca said.

Alicia couldn't believe her ears, stood up, and almost pulled Bianca up from the bed.

Come then, let's go!, she said.