oblivious [l.n.]

38

giana's pov

-

These past weeks in Mexico was the best possible medicine for everything I had been feeling. Being surrounded by my mother, my second home, and my culture filled me with so much peace and tranquility. I was already feeling much better. Being detached from the media and the drama was just the thing I needed.

The only time I really used my phone was to answer the messages I would get from Carlos checking in on me. I also talked with Charles on the phone almost daily. My dad called me a lot as well.

My media cleanse was going well until the day of the French Grand Prix. I wasn't feeling ready to see Lando even if it was through the screen. I didn't want to risk seeing anything with his girlfriend either. It would just be too much.

However, knowing that a race was going on and I wasn't watching it was such a discomforting feeling. I had resorted to pacing in front of the television trying to resist watching it.

My mother got fed up because next thing I knew, she was turning on the TV and putting the race on. "You know you don't want to miss it.'

I didn't get to say anything in response because right at the exact moment, Charles spun out and crashed. I felt my heart stop until I heard that he was okay. It was heartbreaking and crushing seeing him on the screen.

Apparently he was in the lead. Seeing his name drop and looking at the grief on his face was devastating.

That night we spoke on the phone for a really long time. It had been the only moment I desperately wished I could have been there. It was hard to not be able to support him in person.

Therefore, when it was the Hungarian Grand Prix, I was glued to the screen.

Compared to the past race, my mood had transformed for the better. I was eating better, going on walks outside, and feeling more happy in general. The first couple of days here had taken its toll on me and it was nice to get better enough to be out of bed now. Majority of those days had been spent crying and sleeping on a loop.

It was a boat load of emotions going through me.

Also, although I was getting more used to the entire "being in love with your best friend" concept, I was in no way ready to speak to him. It still feels like something foreign to me. It's like I'm finally acknowledging the feelings that have always been there, but it feels strange and weird. On one part, I feel a bit relieved. Everything that was going on with Lando was starting to becoming a jumbled mess in my head and it was good to sort this one thing out. On the other hand, I felt like I was betraying Arthur.

He was right. I knew he did the right thing in breaking up with me. I felt horrible about proving him correct. How was I meant to look him in the eye now? I couldn't have a conversation with him, it was too humiliating. The one thing I would swear to him was not true, actually was.

Hell, I had no idea what I was going to do next.

I couldn't hide in Mexico forever as much as I wanted to. The next show was coming up in Belgium and I knew I had to go back to the apartment in Monaco eventually.

There was no way to guarantee he wouldn't be home. There was also no way to guarantee he wouldn't have her home.

Was that even my home anymore?

"Gia?"

The sound of my mother's voice caught my attention. "Yes?" I turned to look at her a bit disoriented.

"The race is over." She gestured to the TV with a small smile knowing she caught me off guard.

"Oh" I turned my gaze on the TV and saw she was right. The cars were stopping in parc ferme and the drivers were getting out.

"Don't get too lost in your head mi cielo" She said.

"A bit hard to not do that." I mumbled.

"I know but don't worry too much. Everything will work out in the end."

I nodded, looking instead to the TV in front of us. I watched as the camera panned to the winning driver. However, what caught my attention was the one in the rearview. Although the camera was focused on Verstappen, Lando was visible as he removed his helmet.

It was the first time I had seen him since that day in Monaco. Last race, I shut off the TV right after Charles crashed; too worried about getting on the phone with him. Now, even though I was looking at him through my screen, I felt something swirl in my stomach when I caught the sight of him.

He wasn't very visible but I could tell he looked tired. Way more than normal. Bags were very prominent under his eyes and the color of his skin was pale.

I was prepared to feel angry but when I saw what state he was in, concern was the first thing to appear.

Something else then caught my eye as he took off his helmet. As he removed it, something happened to slip out and fall. His eyes went wide as he tried to catch it but he was too late as it quickly dropped to the ground. From the camera angle you couldn't tell what it was, but he rushed in an instant to pick it up.

Charles happened to be passing by at the exact moment. He seemed to have seen what was on the ground. However, what surprised me was the sudden angry look he got as he leaned in close to Lando and started whispering something while glaring at him.

Carlos was then seen walking up to them, placing his hand on Charles' shoulder and saying something to him. Charles just seemed to ignore Carlos as he kept murmuring what seemed like harsh words to Lando. Carlos then gripped on to Charles' shoulder as if he was holding him back slightly.

I was trying to make out what they were saying and the only thing I gathered was the word "camera" coming from Carlos.

Then, whatever Carlos had said last seemed to have worked as Charles said a final remark and walked away from both of them.

The camera then panned back to the crowd on the podium, leaving me in a state of confusion trying to understand what just happened.

-

new chapter in honor of lando's first win!!

so so proud of him.

🧡