oblivious [l.n.]

34

lando's pov

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"Max, can I talk to you about something?" I asked unsure as I laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

In the background, the game was paused as I heard Max shift in his chair. Turning my head slightly, I saw he was looking at me strangely.

"You never ask to talk about something, you just do it." His eyes scanned my face as he took notice of my nervous expression. "Mate, is this about Giana?"

I furrowed my brows. "Why is that your first assumption?!"

Max gave me a deadpanned look as his brow raised slightly.

"Fine it is about Giana." Responding glumly I faced away from him.

"What is it?"

"The other night I got pretty wasted at this work event. Obviously Daniel was there; he was the one that took me home. When I called to thank him for getting me out of there before I did something stupid, he told me some things that I said that night."

Max grinned amusedly. "Did you confess your love for Giana?"

It was annoying how predictable I had become.

At my lack of response, his eyes opened wide as he burst out in a laugh. "Oh god you actually did! What did you say?"

"Mostly complained about Arthur and how he doesn't know Giana as well as I do." It felt embarrassing to say it out loud.

When Daniel told me, I nearly didn't believe him. However, I knew he was not lying. That absolutely sounds like something I would say.

"And?" Max urged me to keep talking, as he found this completely humorous. After that speech he gave me last time regarding Gi, I bet he was feeling elated right now knowing he was being proven correct.

Looking back at the ceiling to avoid looking at Max, I mumbled my words out. "I told him I was in love with her and that I was scared to say something out of fear."

He seemed beyond relieved and full of content the more I spoke. "You admit it; fucking finally. Drunk and everything but you still said it."

These past few days really had me spiraling from how much I had been thinking. Although I wouldn't tell him, Max had been one hundred percent correct from the first day. The only reason that I had even dated Crystal at all was because I was running away from the feelings I had towards Giana. It was so hard for me to accept this because I didn't want to be the one to possibly ruin the bond we had created over the past years.

It took me a while to come to this conclusion because a large part of me still wanted to deny this and carry on with avoiding it. However, seeing her near Arthur and being with him made my blood boil and annoyed me to a large extent.

The other day when I woke up in my bed enveloped by her scent, I realized how much I wanted to wake up surrounded by that all the time. It made me come to the understanding that I wanted to be surrounded by her presence always. Being away from her made me feel miserable. And no matter how bad I felt, she would be the only person I would want to talk to.

I craved being with her all the time. I was just so used to the friendship we had established over time, that any minimal possibility of that being gone terrified me. I would rather have her in my life forever as a friend, than not have at her at all.