The closed curtains

Chapter 4

When we got home, my parents were still in meetings. Simon and I sneaked up the stairs and into my bedroom. There we let go off every restraint we had in public. We moved towards each other, like magnets gravitated towards each other. All the clothes were in the way of us getting as close to each other as possible. My hands travelled in under his hoodie and t-shirt. His skin was smooth and warm under my fingertips. His lips were steady against mine. I felt his fingers on the brown belt on my military green uniform trousers. His other hand was on my neck, keeping me as close as possible. He managed to unbutton my trousers and pull them off me and I helped him out of his hoodie and t-shirt. I then pulled my own, also military green, t-shirt off. Before we hit the bed together, Simon had also managed to get his jeans off. Our lips reconnected. Our fingers danced over naked skin. It still felt like something electric built up between us when we touched. Even four years later, his lips on mine made my heart beat harder in my chest. I had never stopped falling in love with him. Falling in love with him was like falling every day. I kissed him down his neck. Took his hand in mine. Pushed him deeper into the mattress under us with the weight of my body. Stopped for a second to look at him. Take it all in. He was there. It was not a dream. He opened his eyes. Smiled with his entire being. He let his fingers caress my jaw. Breathed in deeply. Then he pulled my face closer and kissed me again. My hand felt over the fabric of his underwear. Then under the fabric. Simon gasped a little against my lips, which made us both giggle a little.

"Don't stop, please," Simon breathed. I had no plans on stopping.

"I won't," I replied. I kissed him on the collarbone. He breathed loudly. Our bodies were so intertwined that I no longer knew where I ended and he began. I just knew that I needed him, so badly. And he was right there. His hands were in my hair and on the hem of my underwear. His lips were on my neck. Blinded by each other, we barely reacted to the sound of the door to my bedroom opening. In a panic I pulled the comforter over us, as fast as I possibly could. But it was too late. The person who entered my bedroom without knocking had already seen us. When we looked up, we saw no other than my second cousin August in the doorway. I saw Malin's horrified face when she rushed after him, most likely to stop him from entering. She got him out, and shut the door. Simon and I were so shocked that the only thing we could do was laugh. I was fuming on the inside. I was mad. August had no right to enter my bedroom. Not ever.

"What just happened?" Simon asked.

"I think we just got caught by the person we least of all want to get caught by," I replied. I got up from the bed and Simon pulled my comforter closer around him, as if that would protect him from what just happened. "Stay here and I will go and kill August. Okay?"

"Okay," he replied. I picked my uniform up from the floor and got dressed. Before I left Simon in bed, I kissed him. He looked so sweet where he lay on my bed.

"Just tell me if you need some help burying the body later," he joked.

"I sure will," I said. I fucking hated August. The audacity to just burst into anyone's bedroom like that. I shut the bedroom door behind me and went down the corridor, where I assumed Malin would have taken August. I saw my parents get out of the office. My mom at first looked happy at the sight of me. When she saw my face her smile faded.

"What has happened, honey?" she asked.

"Ask August. He went into my bedroom without knocking," I said. My voice was loud. Angry. "Not even in my own bedroom I can have some fucking privacy, apparently." I always had to look over my shoulder before holding Simon's hand. Make sure no one saw us together. Before kissing him. Giving him a longing look. When we finally were in private, I could do all of that. I wanted to be able to be just us, somewhere. And now, even my own bedroom was invaded.

"I am so sorry, Crown Prince Wilhelm. I tried to stop him as soon as I understood where he was headed," Malin said. At the Palace, the body guards were posted at the entrances. She knew I was in the bedroom with Simon. I nodded. I knew she had done her best to protect us. Just like she used to do when Simon and I were still at Hillerska.

"I knew it," August said. "I asked you the last time if you were fucking him. You could just have been honest. Do you do it out of pity?" I walked closer to him. Clenched my fists.

"God knows how much I fucking despise you, August," I said. I could not think clearly. Felt impulses I could not control. I prepared to punch him hard in the face. Maybe break his nose a little. Before I could, someone stopped me. At first I thought it was my mom or dad. Then I saw the purple colour of Simon's hoodie around my waist.

"He is not worth it, darling," he said. All my thoughts of hurting August faded away. All the darkness that invaded my heart disappeared by Simon's touch. I turned around and let Simon hold me. His hair was messy, just like I imagined my own being.

"Oh God. Have you even made him think that you are a couple?" I heard August say. I was with my back to him now. I did not want to see him. All the disrespect that radiated out of him.

"We are," I said. "And you have nothing to do with it." I wondered what he was even doing here. Why was he in the palace in the first place?

"You are so pathetic, little cousin," August muttered. Simon held me closer, to make sure I did not lash out at him again. I would have, if he did not hold me. I was pretty sure about that.

"August, I don't know what makes you think you can act this way. We discussed your role as the second in line for the crown and what that means for you. Now I think we have to rethink everything we discussed, because you are clearly not fit for the role when you treat Wilhelm and Simon this way," my mom said.

"Good luck to make sure the family line continues if he is gay," August said. "I am the only one who can make it continue."

"You don't think I cannot make sure that Wilhelm and Simon's future children get royal titles?" my mom said. "I can, and I will. How they came to be does not matter to me. Your father would be disappointed in you acting this way, August." August's dad had died from suicide years ago. Before he was sent off to Hillerska. It had messed August up. He had not been this way when we were kids. I could not remember him being this way, anyways. He had always been closer to Erik than me, but that was nothing I had cared about really. I had my own friends growing up. It had always been a weak spot for August. It was not to be mentioned around him.

"How dare you tell me my father would be disappointed in me?" August shouted.

"He was gay, August. He repressed it his whole life and he turned to drugs to numb his feelings," my mom said. I never knew that August's dad was gay. My family was full of family secrets. The fun thing was that I tended to get to know them after everyone else. Just like August, apparently. "When we were young there was no acceptance for LGBTQ people. I loved him and I accepted him. But he could not love himself enough to be who he really was, and look where that made him end up. Society has changed, and so should the royal family. And my royal family has no place for homophobia." My mother's words made me tear up. She was on my side.

"As you understand, Wilhelm and Simon have a wish to keep their relationship private, so if you know your own best you make sure to respect their wishes," my father said. Simon led me away from the corridor. We stopped in a little room. We held each other again. His arms were around my shoulders. My arms were around his waist.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"I am now. Thanks to you," I said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "But I really thought you were going to beat the shit out of him." I chuckled.

"I thought so too. Thanks for stopping me," I replied. Beating him up in front of my parents would not have helped me. I knew so.

"Anytime," he said. I kissed him.