The closed curtains

Chapter 7

"There were paparazzi waiting for me at school this morning," Simon said. I was sitting in the bathroom, away from the dorms where I slept. It was hard to be stuck, while Simon had to handle the media on his own. I was sheltered with the military. I hated Hannes with every bone in my body. Simon and I had agreed to keep our relationship private, at least until I was allowed to go home. That plan was obviously not happening anymore.

"That is so fucked up," I said. Simon laughed, and I could not stop myself from laughing too.

"I know," Simon said. "I don't see how I could be that interesting."

"You are always interesting, Simon," I said. "To me you will always be." I heard him breathe in the phone. I knew that this bothered him. He did not want to be a public person. I loved that about him. His integrity and sense of self worth had always been attractive traits to me. It felt really bad that my status caused him pain. People that speculated about him. About us.

"But my classes at university might not be worthy of a photo shoot, honey," Simon said. I hated how my life invaded our private life. How he had to sacrifice things in order to be left in peace. And still he would not be left completely in peace. The comments online were horrific. That the paparazzi targeted him probably did not make that better either.

"You don't think?" I asked, a bit ironic in my voice. "I had paparazzi take pictures of me at school too.."

"How did you not grow up to be crazy?" Simon asked. "I would have gone mad if I lived with that growing up." It had just been my normal. I did not reflect on the fact that no other child had paparazzis accompany them on the first day of school. I had never liked it. It always bothered me. Erik never seemed to care about it. He even seemed to like the attention. I hated the attention. I had learned how to filter it out.

"You have to tell me if it becomes overwhelming, Simon," I said. "I can ask Farima if she can do anything to help you." I did not love the media in the first place. If they chased my boyfriend away, I would never forgive them.

"That would be nice. I think I can handle it at the moment, but it would be nice if I did not get a camera up my face every day," Simon said. The only nice thing about Hillerska, except for being with Simon, was that I was left alone there. The media was not allowed onto the school grounds. The media had been very curious about me, after Erik died. How I had taken Erik's death and if I would be a good crown prince to take on the responsibilities of a monarch later, when my mother retired. It was nice that they could not reach me there. I got some peace and quiet. I needed that, considering I got treatment for depression and anxiety. Feeling pressure from the media or the royal court was the last thing I needed back then. I needed support to heal, which I got. My parents arranged therapy with Boris, the school curator. He helped me a lot. I learned how to cope with anxiety, and he listened to my problems without wanting me to be someone or something I could not be. I even told him about my relationship with Simon. I had been scared that my poor mental health would interfere with my relationship. It never did. Simon understood me, and he was always there for me. I had been there for him when he needed me too. When he opened up about his own struggles. It took his father almost dying for him to open up to me about it. After that, we had promised each other to tell each other when we were not doing well. And we did. Mostly at least.

"I will talk to her tomorrow," I said. I looked at the digital clock on my phone. It was late. And Simon had school and I had more training in the morning. "Shit. It is 2 AM now. We have to go to sleep now, honey." I heard Simon move on the other side of the telephone line.

"Yeah. Sweet dreams, Wille," Simon said. "I love you."

"I love you too, good night," I replied.

"Good night," he said. I hung up before we could continue talking. I knew we could have talked all night if we did not stop. I went into the dorms quietly and went to sleep. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow. In my dreams, I was with Simon. Where I wanted to be the most in the whole world. Soon, we would be united again.