21 - Reckless Desires

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HEESEUNG'S POV

It's not a dream. The fact that Sena is kissing me is not a dream and Gosh, I'm not sure how I got so lucky. Sena's lips are soft against mine, warm and inviting, and I pull her closer, craving her more than I can admit. My hands are grabbing her waist and her hands are tangling in my hair, and every touch sends sparks flying through my veins. We're unlocking a dangerous desire between us and I know we might regret this eventually, someday, maybe tomorrow or maybe a year from now. But right now, in this moment, I can't bring myself to care about anything other than the way Sena's lips feel against mine, the way her touch feels so right

I deepen the kiss, losing myself in the taste of her lips, in the scent of her hair. It's intoxicating, overwhelming, and I never want it to end. Sena responds eagerly, her body pressing against mine, her fingers tracing patterns on my skin that make my head spin. I've never wanted someone like this, to the point where I'm nothing but a desperate and reckless mess of emotions.  But with Sena, it feels different, and I'm losing my damn mind. 

All the exhaustion and the frustration evaporate and all I'm left with is this overwhelming desire for her. It's like I've been waiting for this moment my whole life, like everything I've ever wanted is right here in front of me. 

Before I know it, she gasps and pulls away and the world comes crashing back into focus. Reality hits me like a ton of bricks, and I'm left reeling, trying to catch my breath. "I... I shouldn't have done that." My heart sinks at her words but I don't speak. I can't. All I do is hold her gaze, my heart pounding in my chest. 

But then, as if on instinct, I reach out and gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sena," I say softly, my voice barely more than a whisper. "You can't just kiss me and make me forget everything. You can't just kiss me and pretend like it never happened." I hate how desperate I am, how I sound so vulnerable, but I can't help it. Her presence makes me feel alive, makes me want things I never thought I could have.

Her hands are resting against my shoulders, looking at me like I'm the only person in the world who truly understands her. "We really shouldn't be doing this... it's complicated enough as it is." But even as she speaks, her eyes betray her words, shimmering with unspoken emotions, with desires too raw to be hidden behind apologies.

I cup her cheek in my hand, my thumb tracing the curve of her jawline, and I lean in closer, our breaths mingling in the space between us. "You want to forget about everything? I will respect that and I will not push you into something you're not ready for. But I can't pretend that this kiss didn't mean anything to me. I'm trying to be decent because you have a boyfriend even though he's a piece of shit and he doesn't deserve you, but you're the one who kissed me so don't worry about me forgetting. I won't forget."

Sena's eyes brim with tears and I pause, wondering if I said something I shouldn't have said. But when her lips quiver and she starts to speak through her sobs, I realize that no words I say would make her this upset, this heartbroken. And that's when it hits me. That motherfucker must have done something to hurt her. My blood boils, and yet, I still find it in me to listen to her and let her pour out her feelings. "Heeseung, I... he's cheating on me," She whispers, her voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. "I thought everyone was wrong, I thought if I didn't think much of it, it wouldn't be true. But I saw him hugging her and I just- how do you even begin to describe the pain of seeing the person you love betray your trust like that?"

"Sena-" She's breathing heavily, crying and shaking in my arms, and all I want to do is hold her closer, to shield her from the pain radiating from every word she utters. She's been bottling it all inside, I realize, that's why she looked sad. That's why the smile didn't quite reach her eyes and the thought of breaking Ujin's teeth crosses my mind again. No, this anger I'm feeling will make me break not only his teeth but also his bones if I ever get my hands on him. "It's gonna be okay, just let it all out."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to... fall apart like this-"

"No, Sena, it's fine, you're fine. You're allowed to feel what you're feeling and I'm gonna be here for you. If you need a shoulder to cry on, you have mine, and if you need someone to punch that asshole, you also have mine." I hear her let out a chuckle through her tears and I hold her even closer. "You don't have to apologize for being human." I could stay here for hours, hold her and forget about the world where everything seems to be falling apart. 

"Thank you," She says and before I know it, presses a soft kiss to my cheek. Holy fuck. Holy shit. My heart skips a beat and I'm suddenly a thirteen-year-old boy with a crush, flustered and speechless. I'm suddenly a grown man struggling to find the right words. As she pulls away, her gaze meets mine, and there's a vulnerability in her eyes that mirrors my own. "I should probably go-"

"Do you really think I'm about to let you go after you just kissed me like that?" A wry smile tugs at the corners of my lips. "Not a chance." Sena's eyes widen in surprise, her lips parting slightly as if she's about to say something, but no words come out. I take the chance to hold her hand and bring it to my lips. "Forget about Ujin, okay? Forget about Ujin for now. Just stay here with me. Unless you really want to leave-"

"I want to stay." She smiles, a genuine, albeit tear-stained, smile that lights up her face. "I want to stay with you." And just like that, everything feels right, like all the pieces of the puzzle are finally falling into place.

Relief floods through me, and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. "Good," I say softly, squeezing her hand gently. "Then stay."

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