Speak For Me

F-U-C-K

*Cassidy POV*

I haven't slept in two days.

I can't. Not with the way the house creaks every time the wind blows. Not with the way every sound I hear makes me sit up in seconds, reaching into the bedside table, going for Zach's sleek black handgun.

I rearranged the furniture in the house, making sure that I have both cribs in the same room as me, even if that leaves little to no walking room.

I got paranoid. I keep all the blinds closed, and the doors locked.

I almost wish I didn't protest in having Spencer here, maybe I wouldn't be so terrified of having someone unknown knocking on the door.

It's just past nine in the morning, Elizabeth just went down for her second nap of the morning, Charlotte sits with me at the dining table, eating her breakfast. Strawberries and waffles.

I don't think I've ever sat at this table, or even noticed that it existed, when I was here the first time. I've explored everything in this house in the last two days. I left nothing unnoticed, I needed to find places to hide, or to hide the girls, just in case.

My body tenses as I hear a car turn onto the gravel driveway, and I'm instantly on my feet. My eyes move straight to the top of the refrigerator, where I placed the handgun this morning. It's always in the room with me, high up or hidden so Charlie can't see it.

My body moves fast as I walk to the kitchen window, to peek through the slight crack in the curtain. A matte black Audi rolls to a stop, just in front of the home. My heart rate doesn't slow down, and my breathing is fast and shallow, even when I see the familiar couple exit the car.

Devonie and Jonah.

My feet feel heavy as I don't move from my spot in front of the window, seeing them walk towards the door, without their kids. I flinch as someone's heavy hand hits the door. The sound echos in my ears like thunder, even though it was three small taps.

My vision blurs with tears, as I walk from the kitchen, towards the front door. My steps feel like I'm moving in slow motion, until I realize I'm having an anxiety attack. It's been over 8 weeks since I last saw either of them. And I don't think I'm ready.

My hand reaches slow to unlock both locks, one on the door handle and the other just above. My hand shakes as I twist the knob, and pull the door open slowly. My eyes squint tight as the sun beams right into the doorway.

"Cassidy!" Dev shrinks and flinch back, and I don't know why.

"Come in." My voice is low but I quickly clear my throat, trying not to sound so small.

I don't know what to say as the couple enters the home. I don't want to thank them for helping me leave, because I've regretted it since I got into the SUV with Jonah. I hate that I almost feel bitter seeing them again, I hate that I almost hate them for convincing me to leave.

I never would've left if they didn't make it seem like it was my only option.

"Where's the baby? I want to see her!" Dev is bubbling with excitement as Jonah and herself sit on the sofa in the living room.

"She's napping." I whisper lightly as I peek back in the kitchen to see how Charlie is doing with her breakfast.

"That's okay, we want to know how you're doing." Jonah's voice is calm as I see him grab his wife's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"I'm fine." My voice is present but you can tell that my body and mind are not.

I lean against the half wall that connects the living room to the kitchen. Making sure I'm sticking close to Charlie, but still seeming present enough to the visitors.