Ashes to Ashes

Prologue

(TW: Implied Suicide)

Cold. Everything was cold. 

And dark.

I was so alone... how could I have wanted this? This couldn't possibly be better than before... the warmth, and the light, and the smiles, however scarce. Family, friends, food, fun. The Big Four. 

In that moment, I realized just how big the Big Four really were. 

I cried out. I screamed, but it was muffled.

I wanted it back. I wanted everything back. I regretted my decisions, my plans, my dreams. 

I wanted a second chance.

"Take me back!" I wanted to yell. "Someone please help me!" 

"I don't want to die!"

But nobody came.

And then...

There was light, creeping in through my closed eyes. I groaned, and coughed. I felt impossibly grateful to whatever god or power watched over the universe, and decided to give me my second chance at life. 

I wanted to see my mother again, to hear her say my name... to feel her hugs again, to hear her laugh at my terrible jokes again. 

I wanted to see my best friend, to tell them everything. To tell them that all of their telling me about my worth, my value, and the value of life really paid off, and that I was ready to finally live life to the fullest with them and all of my family. 

And for the first time, I thought about life after high school. It was a real thing, a real thought! It was really gonna happen, it wasn't some silly fantasy for mentally stable people anymore. It was something for me, too. 

I opened my eyes to thank whoever it was that rescued me, and felt my blood run cold. 

I wasn't laying on the ground. 

I wasn't even laying in an ambulance or a hospital bed. 

I was laying in a bedroom. A bedroom I didn't recognize, and-

Oh god, what was that smell?

306 Words