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The trial was just a weak long but usually it was two week for the trial to be fair in the first place! Thought at the time of the trail more people were dying grizlie deaths andI was there at the Montreal court house! That being said I was obviously going to be found not guilty! But there were to bad things! When is that I had to be away from my beloved Chris! And Thatpeople were dying! The people were doing from a entity that you can take to court!when I was going to read the news paper that there was a fatal attack (murder) of 3 people I did not know to cry or take Joyce or fear!

That was when I decided to believe in the wendigo.....for the first time in my life i was a believer! Most of the people in my village were believers of the entity but I was until I learned the killings were continuing and that I wasn't in the village! I could just imagine who bad the killings were! Just from Trudy's death!

I wanted to show Chris but I couldn't so I mailed it to him! It was not the first time that we exchanged love letters since the beginning of the trail. After I the new paper article was mailed I got the steamiest letter of my life since Trudy was alive!

My dearest Alfredo Jean!
I don't just live for food and shelter
I also love you passionately. As I eat because of nature, my breath is for you. And only you. My breathe is the desire for you, us!
So handsome and brilliant I want your body mind and soul.....this trial is damnation for me as I can only see you in court!
I wish to feel the loving kisses from you!

Make love to me !


Fidelity (Chris)!

That was when I wanted this all to end just so I can be with Chris! Hell I could not even approach him on Facebook because of the trial!

As I thought about stuff! The thought started to turn to the fucking wendigo! I hated that thing with a passion as I was tormented by both man and the entity for the last year! Heard to say that it was a year but that was how long the shit shows going for!

I wanted to remember the lovely Trudy again but I could not......quoth the raven.....nevermore! When I was a kid I loved Edgar Allen Poe. But I was not living this nightmare we're just like is characters I was going mad......even though I was in love I could not remeber the one before that. Trudy, except for her name. I should have kept a photo! But I didn't. Every time Trudy's name came in there was a block........was this my brain voiding something, PTSD!

I could have been PTSD for her death was a shocker to me! I ended up wailing her name!

"TRUDY WHY CANT I REMEMBER YOU!!!!" I screamed! You would think that I was still going for the insanity plee but this was real! Maddness is when you try the same thing over and over again and except something different! And every time I tried to remember her person! I get a void!

Soon........

I heard her tender voice

The reason you cannot remember me is because you have found someone else! I am no longer in your heart!

"Trudy....." I screamed excepting a response! But was given nothing but silence! This was when I wanted to die for the first time in my life and even in this shit show! I gave up hope. I was desperate but she rejected me with silence! My tears answered with nothing!

Did she think that she was being cheated on?! Was I wrong to desire Chris! I don't know nor will I ever know!

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As I was going to go back tothe court for my verdict.....I was found not guilty! But that did not make me happy! The only thing that I wanted was Chris! And only to feel is touch!

The maddness of the week was enough to break someone! And that is the truth!

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