MOODSWINGS - Cake (Mpreg!) [completed ✔️]

I can't get through to him

"Hey mate," Michael stepped aside to let him in. Once the door was shut, Michael drew him in for a long hug.

"How's it going?," he asked, once he drew away.

Calum softly shook his head. Michael motioned for him to follow him to the kitchen. Once Michael pushed the door open, Petunia came waddling toward them.

"Hey Piggy," Calum bent down to scratch her behind her ear, "Did you miss me?"

She leant into his hand. "Bet you miss Luke, huh? He'll be back soon, I promise."

"Yeah?," Michael asked, "Do you know when he's gonna be released?" Michael had Southy in his arms to keep her from running over to Calum and disturbing Petunia's cuddle time.

"Hopefully Thursday," Calum straightened up and went over to the counter to scratch southys head, "but Monday at the latest. We hope before the weekend. Depends on Luke's hormonal and blood level though."

"That's awesome," Michael sat Southy down and got started on two cups of tea while Calum sat down on one of the bar stools at the counter.

"How's Luke holding up?," Michael asked while pouring the water into the cups.

"I can't get through to him," Calum mumbled, "It's like he's a completely different person."

"He's grieving," Michael reasoned, "everyone grieves differently."

"But he's destroying himself," Calum picked at his nails, "he won't really speak. Just the bare minimum. He hasn't cried since the day he woke up after the surgery which... can't be healthy and is very unlike Luke. He's shutting down and shutting me out," Calum mumbled and buried his face in his hands, "he's not talking to me. He's not eating and not smiling and not.. not living. He's existing."

"Have you talked to Doctor Miller about that?," Michael asked.

"Yeah," Calum sighed, "she said to give it time and to see where the counseling brings us. They have him on antidepressants and she'd recommend taking them for the next few months. But he hates them, I don't know how to convince him to take them. He's always so sleepy and detached when he's on them."

Calum buried his head in his arms which were crossed on the counter.

"I don't know what to do," Calum mumbled softly, "I wish this didn't happen at all. I wish I could turn back time to four months ago."

"Cal, stop it," Michael said.

"No," Calum snapped and resurfaced, "No! You don't know what it's like-"

"Of course I don't ," Michael yelled over him, used to Calums recent mood swings by now, "Of course I don't know what it's like to lose your child! But I know what it's like to lose someone you love and getting angry at everything is part of grieving but certainly doesn't help you with anything!"

Calum stared back at Michael, his teeth gritted.
He couldn't help the tears springing to his eyes.

Michael came over and embraced him without a word.

All dams broke and he cried into Michael's shoulder.

"I feel so fucking lost, Mike," he sniffled, "it's overwhelming. Like, I'm grieving too, but I don't shut him out like that?"

"I hear you, okay?," Michael soothed, "and I understand. But you can't expect him to cope the same way you cope. I agree that his coping mechanism isn't healthy. But don't hate him for it."

"I don't hate him," Calum mumbled, "I could never. Ever. I'm just... scared as shit. Worried about him. And that on top of everything else? I just... I wish he was emotionally available enough for us to go through this together. I need him. I fucking love him."