Lost Souls

Chapter 10

When I open my eyes again, I know I'm dreaming because a mermaid with blonde hair floats inches away with her back to me. There's no blood, no ugly wound on her back—she looks exactly how she did before the accident. My breath catches as my eyes flick from head to tail. "F-Faye?" Her name is barely more than a push of breath. I let out a shuddering exhale as I blink away tears. My hand is trembling as I reach for her.

Before my hand even makes contact, she turns around and meets my gaze. Her eyes are not foggy with pain like they were in those heart-stopping moments after her injury. They're bright with tears, but somehow, this is worse.

She gasps, the sound full of fear as she looks around. "Y-you can't be here, Drew! H-He'll find you! Y-you have to leave—g-get Mom and Dad and go to Aegrem, where you'll be s-safe."

She clutches my hands, looking up at me with such terror in her eyes that it steals the water from my lungs. There was only one he that could instill this much fear in her. I shake my head, a reassuring smile finding my lips despite the tears on my cheeks. "I won't let Zander hurt you, Faye. Or Mom or Dad."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, her expression goes blank, like someone flipped a switch. "He already did, Drew. He killed me." I blink, then blood suddenly splatters her dress, even more oozing from the ugly wound. When I look down at my hands, I have to bite back a cry at the blood that coats them.

"Why didn't you save me, Drew?" Her voice, no longer fearful or blank, is imploring—which is infinitely worse. "I was waiting for you to save me." Another blink, and we're back in the infirmary, surrounded by doctors and nurses, all talking over one another. I see Faye's limp, motionless body, and I can't contain the shudder that works its way through my body.

My voice is hoarse and broken when I respond. "I tried. I swear I tried, Faye." I swipe at my eyes before more tears can fall.

Yet another blink, and I'm watching Dr. Murphy break the news to our family. I see myself faltering and Jonah lunging to catch me; I see Mom go limp and hear her mournful cry. Dad pales, his body so still I realize he must be in shock. Breathing heavily, I shake my head as I back away. "Please," I whisper, my voice breaking. "Stop."

But it doesn't. If anything, it gets worse. On the fourth blink, I'm reliving myself at my lowest point—when I gave in to that grief and shame that had been plaguing me since Faye's death. I'm watching myself go through the various emotions I'd held in since the moment Dr. Murphy had broken the news.

I hear my voice, broken and sorrowful. "'I should have paid more attention to my surroundings. I promised Carla I would protect her. What good am I if I can't protect those I love?'"

"But you didn't, Drew," Faye says as if answering my question. "You didn't protect any of us." Before I can even open my mouth to ask what she means, I freeze as two more mermaids materialize beside her.

I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't think. Carla, Ella, and Faye float directly across from me, expressions blank and eyes cold. When Ella and Faye speak in unison, I can't stop the cry that slips from my lips, filled with anguish and grief. "We were waiting for our big brother to save us. Why didn't you save us, Drew?"

Hearing those words from their lips hurts more than the sharpest dagger or the deadliest poison. Even though some voice in my head warns me that this is only a nightmare, I can't get myself to wake up. I can't take my eyes off Carla, but I also can't meet Ella's or Faye's stare. "I—I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I would go back and save you if I could."

Steeling myself, I finally break Carla's gaze and lock eyes with Faye, the tears in my eyes spilling down my cheeks before I even open my mouth. The sight of her blood-stained and battered nearly makes me falter. I force myself to hold her gaze, knowing if I look at Ella or Carla, I'll completely unravel. My youngest sister, who always considered me her brave protector, stares at me with such cold emptiness that it knocks the water from my lungs.