Lost Souls

Chapter 22

As exhausted as I am, my sleep is fitful and restless. All I see is Ani begging and pleading as Wyatt drags her away. He holds my gaze the entire time, a sadistic gleam in his eyes as he grins maliciously. The sheer terror in her eyes is enough to steal the water from my lungs.

She keeps shouting my name until she can't speak anymore, tears running down her face as she looks at me. "DREW! DREW!" All I hear is my name over and over until she finally vanishes, her screams ringing in my ears.

I jerked awake with a sharp gasp, panting as I struggled to bring water into my lungs. The night-dark water was calm outside my windows, but I suddenly felt claustrophobic. I lurched toward the suite door, trying to figure out which way was faster to get me into the open water. To get away from the walls that were closing in on me.

In my sleep- and fear-addled mind, I conjured up a single image of a door tucked in a corner across from my suite. As far as I knew, no one had ever used it, nor had anyone ever needed to. Fumbling with the door handle, I silently opened it and slipped into the empty hallway. When I spotted the door, I had to bite back a cry of relief. The minute I emerged from the palace into the open water, I sagged against a nearby rock.

Closing my eyes, I tried to get my breathing under control as I gulped down fresh water. Nausea hit me in dizzying waves, faster than I could react. My painfully empty stomach flip-flopped until only bile and spit came out. I shuddered when I braced a hand on the rock, taking deep, slow breaths.

Ani might have thought I had fallen asleep after she'd turned away, but I hadn't. When she'd eventually seen me awake and glancing at her, we'd begun talking and had only fallen asleep sometime after midnight. After a lengthy discussion where Ani and I both shared our hidden fears, we both agreed that it was time for her to move into her suite.

Even though we were both still clearly shaken by what Wyatt had said and done, we knew that we couldn't let that fear rule our lives forever. Later today, I'd tell Mom and Dad. I groaned as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. After a few minutes, I began to make my way back to the palace. Only when I heard my name did I turn around, taking a deep breath. "Drew?"

When Aunt Izzy's eyes met mine, her face lined with concern, I almost confessed everything right there and then. But she spoke before I could. "Are you okay? What happened?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but a sob came out instead. The vision of Ani's pale and tear-stained face warred with the vision of Waverly's pale face as she floated before us until they blurred together. It was all too much. I couldn't handle it.

Aunt Izzy lunged for me, catching me an instant before I would have slammed face-first into the seafloor. Her warm, steady arms came around me, holding me up and taking my weight as I wept. I couldn't shake the overwhelming fear that Wyatt would eventually take Ani away from me for good. I worried about her constantly and had to fight off paralyzing waves of fear when we were apart. I knew that my fear resulted from what had happened to Faye, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake it.

My body shook with the force of my tears, and I could feel the agony rippling off me, but I didn't care. When my sobs finally lessened to barely audible sniffles, I heard Aunt Izzy take a breath.

When she spoke, her voice tightened as she held back her own tears. "In the days, weeks, and months following what had happened to Elle, I didn't let her out of my sight. Even when she was with Kai, I couldn't shake the feeling that something would happen. Hearing about what happened to Ani was like having that wound ripped open all over again. I felt an overwhelming urge to protect her at all costs like I protect Elle.

"You both experienced something traumatic, and that fear might never wholly disappear. But don't let it rule your life. Appreciate and treasure the moments you have together now." I felt her place a hand on my shoulder, and when I looked up, her eyes were on mine. Pain glimmered in her expression, but her grip was firm.

I took a shaky breath, exhaling slowly before voicing the words I'd kept locked deep in my heart since Faye's death. The words I'd never confessed to anyone—not even Ani, Mom, or Dad. "It was my fault."

As the words left my mouth, I faltered again. Aunt Izzy caught me again, but this time, I shoved her away, letting myself fall to the seafloor. The shame, guilt, and regret hit me head-on like a rogue wave crashing into me. I repeated the words over and over until sobs replaced them. "It was my fault."

She didn't speak for several moments after that, my jagged breathing the only sound. When I finally straightened, only red-hot anger remained. Her voice was shaky when she spoke. "Faye wouldn't want you to live with that guilt, shame, and regret hanging over you. She would have wanted you to live each day with an open mind and find happiness and love."

Before the words even left my mouth, I knew I'd made a mistake. But it was as if my mouth didn't belong to me—the words felt heavy and foreign on my tongue. "Well, Faye's not here, is she? No. She's dead because I wasn't able to save her. I will never look into her beautiful eyes, hear her ringing laughter, or see her bright smile again because of me."

My voice broke on the last word right as I felt the tears form in my eyes. Aunt Izzy's breath hitched as tears silently slid down her cheeks. From the wounded look in her eyes, I knew she was hurting just as much as I was. When I gazed into her eyes, I sensed the grief radiating from her as strongly as it burned in her eyes.

A few minutes passed before she could speak, her voice soft as she did. "Why don't you and Ani come down to Beltmare and stay with me and Kai for a few days? It would finally allow me and Kai to meet Ani, and you could introduce her to Elle—if it's okay with Bella and David, of course."

I heard her unspoken words as clearly as if she'd been speaking aloud. Both of you need a change of scenery—a chance to escape the memories and tragedy lingering here.

Swallowing hard, I took a breath and exhaled before I nodded. Aunt Izzy took my hands, squeezing gently. "I miss her, too. But she wouldn't have wanted us to grieve for her forever. We have to live, Drew. If only because Faye can't anymore." As hard as she tried to steady it, her voice broke when she breathed Faye's name.

I took several slow, deep breaths before I spoke. "I'll ask Mom, Dad, and Ani, and then I'll let you know." As much as I hated to admit it, she'd made a good point—it was time for us to move on. We would never forget Faye, but we couldn't grieve her forever.

Aunt Izzy scanned my face as she nodded. "Kai will be thrilled to know that you two are coming. We'll see you soon."

We both turned simultaneously as we heard the sound of fins beating the water. "Drew? Izzy? What are you doing here?" He directed his last question at Aunt Izzy, but he focused on me.

Aunt Izzy didn't glance away from Dad when she responded. "I came to check on Drew." Her expression revealed no sign of the sorrow and anguish that had been present moments earlier. She squeezed my arm and met my gaze, lingering for several moments before swimming away.

Dad waited until Aunt Izzy was out of earshot before he spoke. "Is everything okay?"

I exhaled as I watched Aunt Izzy swim away until she was a speck in the distance. "Everything's fine. Aunt Izzy invited Ani and me to stay in Beltmare with her and Uncle Kai for a few days. It would finally allow them to meet Ani, and I could introduce her to Elle. I told her I'd ask you and Mom first before I gave her a definite answer."

My voice was calm, my face expressionless, but agony twisted my heart into knots. Dad's face softened as he read the unspoken words on my face—the words I was too afraid to voice—and nodded, reaching out and clasping my shoulder. He blinked several times, and it wasn't until I looked closer that I saw the glimmer of tears in his eyes. "Why don't you come back to the palace, and we'll ask Bella and Ani together?"

I could tell by the look on his face that he, too, was struggling with memories of Faye. I swallowed hard before nodding. I knew I couldn't swim away from that conversation forever; I knew that sooner or later, I would have to open up that wound again. I hoped that I would be strong enough to face it. If only to avoid the fallout that would follow such a confession.

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