How to Stay Out of Prison: A Modern-Day Woman's Guide

Chapter 5

Lyrical~

I was so heated that I couldn't remember walking up the two flights of stairs to the sixth floor.

What assholes.

I mean, I knew that Bruce was a jerk, but for him to let me yell at his lover like that? What bullshit.

I wasn't sure how long I was banging on the door, but after what felt like a million years, it finally swung open. "Holy shit, Lyric," Rena yelped. "Why are you knocking on my door like you're the goddamn police?"

I didn't wait for an invitation into her apartment. I just muscled my way in, and she wisely let me. "I'm going to fucking kill him, Rena," I spat.

Rena shut the door, then watched as I paced her living room. "Kill who?"

"Bruce fucking Higgins," I said, his name like acid on my tongue.

"Okay, calm down," she replied. "Let me get you some tea, so that we can plan his murder calmly and rationally like civilized adults."

I let her head on into the kitchen, then threw myself on her couch. Rena Salinger's been my upstairs neighbor for the entire five years that I'd been living in the building, but she's been my best friend for the past three. Rena and I were the same age at twenty-nine, but she had silky blonde hair and brilliant blue eyes, the complete opposite of me. She was also about five-foot-six with an hourglass figure that I often envied. Her curves weren't exaggerated, but they were very prominent, and she worked those curves like a sexy sex goddess. Rena was also a web designer and worked from home a lot, which was great for me.

Like, right now, for instance.

Rena dropped down on the armchair next to the couch, crossing her legs underneath her butt. "Okay, the tea is a'brewin', so tell me what happened with Bruce."

I grabbed one of the throw pillows on the couch, then lifting it to my face, I screamed into the poor innocent thing. Once I came up for air, I told her about cussing out Bruce and his lover.

When I was finished, I asked, "And you want to know the worst part of it all?" I didn't wait for her to answer. She was already invested in my story, so of course she wanted to know the worst part of it all. "I actually thought Bruce was hot as hell when I saw him in the lobby, then when we rode up in the elevator together. I mean, Jesus, Rena, talk about a ten."

Rena's brows furrowed as she cocked her head at me. "You actually think Bruce is a ten?"

Was she blind?

"Hell, yeah, don't you?" Before she could answer, my mind wandered towards his lover. "But I gotta tell you, Ren, where Bruce is a solid ten, well...probably higher than that, the man did have his shirt off, and...whoa..." Where I'd thought that he'd been stunning fully clothed in the elevator, when I'd gotten a good look at him shirtless, his stunningness had gone up a few notches. "...but his lover? Holy Baby Jesus. His lover was...well, I don't blame him for cheating on Randall with that man."

Rena started shaking her head. "Bruce? You think Bruce is a ten?" she asked again, sounding a bit confused.

However, before I could clarify, the tea kettle-yes, Rena made her tea the old-fashioned way-whistled, and she got up to go prepare our drinks. Now, while most people fell victim to coffee, and while I had nothing against it, I preferred tea. It just felt more...soothing. Plus, on cold winter nights, I went with hot chocolate. Nevertheless, I didn't prepare my tea the legit way that Rena did. I heated that shit in the microwave like a true sloth.

Rena returned with our tea, and she still sounded baffled when she placed the cups on the coffee table in the center of her living room. "I...I just never imagined Bruce being your type, Lyric," she said.