How to Stay Out of Prison: A Modern-Day Woman's Guide

Chapter 15

Lyrical~

We'd made it to Huxley's fairly early, so we'd been able to find a booth immediately. As soon as my ass hit the bench, Alice piped up. "I'll go order the first round." With that announcement, she flounced-yes, flounced-over to the bar to get the first round.

"So, what's on the agenda tonight," Rena asked.

"I thought we were just coming out to have a couple of drinks and gossip," I replied.

Rena rolled her eyes. "Says the girl who got her world rocked last night," she retorted. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been laid?"

Since Rena was my best friend, I knew that answer. "Stewart, the guy you met at High Café seven months ago," I announced.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "Stewart, seven months ago, and he sucked."

"Oh, hey," I said comfortingly. "You did say he did give it his all, though. The poor man did try to please you and your impossible demands."

Rena's blue eyes widened. "My impossible demands?" She snorted her disbelief. "I wasn't even asking for an orgasm, Lyric. I was just hoping that he'd last longer than five minutes each round. It was horrible."

"So, we're here to get laid?" I asked because I needed absolute clarification on my role here tonight.

Alice placed the bucket of beers in the middle of the table, plopped her ass down next to Rena, then asked, "We're trolling for penis tonight?"

I plucked a beer out of the bucket. "I'm not, but apparently Rena is," I clarified.

Alice nodded in thought, and as she grabbed her own beer, she said, "Well, good. That makes sense, and it's actually a good thing."

Rena glanced over at her. "It is? Why?"

Alice took a very big, very construction-worker-gulp of her beer before saying, "Because while I was waiting for Mr. Bartender to fill the bucket full of beers, I happened to give the room a curious glance, and I notice three very hot, very built, very drool-worthy men sitting at the bar together, and-"

"Probably married or gay," Rena huffed, interrupting Alice.

Alice ignored her. "Annnnnnnnnnd, due to my diligent internet-stalking, I was able to identify those three male specimens of perfection as the St. James brothers."

Rena started choking on her drink, and I turned into a statue, hoping that my complete stillness would turn me invisible somehow. Hey, don't judge. It could work.

After Rena got herself under control, she shot Alice an incredulous look. "Are you sure?"

"Don't look and be all high-school-girl obvious, but I am absolutely sure," she said, the biggest smile on her face.

Oh, no...I knew that smile.

"Hey, Rena, you want to follow me to the jukebox?"

"Don't you dar-"

"Absolutely," Rena said, already laughing with anticipation of whatever Alice had planned.

Alice reached over, then patted my arm. "You'll thank us for this one day, Lyric," she said as she stood up. "If not, well, remember how much you love me, and that I'm your only sibling."

Everything in me wanted to scan the faces at the bar, but I was supposed to be in Minneapolis, so I had to act like I didn't know that Nixon was here. With his brothers, no less.

So, instead of acting like a bigger spaz than I'd already had, I grabbed my phone, then pretended to answer a text as I sipped my beer, all calm, cool, collected, and sophisticated like. However, let me assure you-in case you were confused-that I was not feeling calm, cool, collected, or sophisticated. However, to be fair, I'd never been sophisticated, so that was a rather lofty goal to try to accomplish in the first place.