How to Stay Out of Prison: A Modern-Day Woman's Guide

Chapter 4

Nixon~

When Linc had told me that I was stupid for cleaning up this shit myself, I should have given his criticism some credit, because it'd been three days already and this shit was going to run into tomorrow afternoon for sure.

Randall Smyth had still been in his pajamas when Sabastian and I had knocked on his door Wednesday morning. He'd looked surprised to see me, but that surprise had quickly given way to nervousness when I'd told him that I knew about his rent-free tenant. I'd learned over the years that the best approach when dealing with shady people was to be confident with your accusations; never give the other person a chance to make up some bullshit that might put a dent in your mission.

After telling Randall that I knew about Bruce, I had ordered him to walk with me to Bruce's apartment, then-after a lot of theatrics from Bruce-both men had agreed to leave peacefully, rather than to have to face charges of theft, fraud, vandalism, and trespassing.

The downside was that after Bruce had vacated the apartment, and I'd finally gotten a chance to do a walk-through, I had quickly discovered that the rumors of his partying hadn't been exaggerated. The apartment had been a fucking mess and needed some work. There'd even been a couple of cabinet doors hanging from their hinges.

I'd been so fucking pissed that I had opted to work off my irritation by doing the work myself. I had worked a half-day Wednesday, Thursday, and today, and then I had called Linc to help me since he was on vacation. Jackson had even stopped by for a few hours yesterday to help out as well.

I had just finished hammering in a new baseboard when Lincoln started bitching again. "I still can't believe I let you talk me into helping you with this bullshit," he griped. "I'm supposed to be on vacation."

"Quit bitching," I replied. "Besides, it'll keep you humble."

Lincoln scoffed. "I'm humble plenty. If it wasn't for that sexy brunette that I ran into in the lobby, this entire day would have sucked."

I was about to comment when the front door was slapped open so hard that it bounced against the door frame, then swung back. I turned to see a very petite and pissed off ball of fury storming my way.

What the fuck?

She stopped in front of me, planted her hands on her hips, then did her best to burn her hate into me. "Look, I get that you might be feeling like a prince with free reign of the castle because you've got great cock sucking skills that Randall benefits from, but there is such a thing as common goddamn courtesy, you know."

My brows shot straight upward as my hands came up in a calming motion. "Whoa, hold on there-"

"I will not hold on," she snapped. "Just because you're screwing Randall, making you safe from eviction, does not mea-"

I stared at the beautiful woman, completely dumbfounded, as she finally took in Linc-with his shirt off-and her eyes rounded to impossible proportions. Seriously. I thought her eyes were going to pop right out of her pretty little head.

"Oh, my god!" she shrieked. "Randall is giving you a free apartment and unlimited sex, and you can't even bother to be faithful to him?!" She removed one hand off her hip, then gestured towards Linc. "Do you just sleep with any man who you can fleece?"

Who the hell was this woman?

"First off, I'm not gay," I said, finally snapping out of my shock. "I don-"

"You're not gay?!" she screeched as her pretty brown eyes really threatened to pop out of her head now. "Holy shit...are you just such an opportunist that you'd sleep with men when you're not even gay just to benefit from them?"