August Reveries (FreenBecky)

Chapter 12: Drunk and Jealous

- FRANS -

Seven years ago

My Thailand detour was not exactly what I had hoped for. For the most part, it was disappointing and heartbreaking. But, I mean, how can I express grief if they weren't even a big part of my life growing up?

Date: 9 August 2002 11:45 PM

Case: Abandoned

Name: Unknown - Female

"I'm sorry. No one from the original staff who found you on the night of August 2002 is working here. All of them had already either resigned or retired. But according to the result of the investigation, your biological mother passed on the day you were born in 1998 and..." the woman trailed off as she looked up to me with this pitiful look in her eyes.

"What is it?" I asked softly, bracing myself for the worst.

"...your father... he was found dead three days after he left you in the streets. He, uhm... he apparently jumped from the—"

"—thank you," I cut her off immediately. I don't really want to hear any more of it. I get it. From what I've gathered from the social worker, my parent's lives were both hard and tragic, even the ending. "I'll get going." Dali-dali akong tumayo; really itching to go out from this suffocating office room as soon as possible.

"Wait," the woman stood up and walked behind me as I was just reaching for the door. "One of the staff who found and took care of you was actually the one who adopted you. Miss Helena Eva Tamayo. It says here she used to work as a social worker and was the one who took care of you as soon as you were turned over by a concerned citizen. I thought you should know that as well."

Napapikit ako when I felt my tears starts welling up. Ayokong umiyak sa gitna ng airport, sa gitna ng maraming tao. I clenched both my fist hanggang sa mamuti ang mga ito at humugot ng malalim na hininga, simultaneously pushing down the growing pain in my chest as deeper as I can.

I don't want to deal with this anymore. Masaya naman ako sa buhay ko ngayon. Besides figuring out what I'd do with my life, I'm perfectly fine with what I have right now. Hindi ko na kailangan pang ungkatin what's past behind. I was abandoned and lost both my parents, who I didn't even grow up knowing, nor had any memories of being with my father. I was an orphan at four—yeah, whatever. At least I have my Mama Helen now, and that is what really matters, isn't it?

Earth and Jon left thirty minutes ago matapos nila akong ihatid sa airport. It was really fun knowing them, and hopefully makita ko ulit sila someday when I get to visit the country again.

After regaining my composure, I began to drag my luggage towards the check-in gate. It's time to go home. I barely have a month to finish yung pinapa-commission ni Grace sa akin for her exhibit. If I want to get this done before the deadline, I'll have to focus and avoid any more distractions.

Nasa linya ako ng bigla kong marinig yung boses niya — that cute girl from the musicfest, yung nakabangga ko.

I turned around in search of her, and as I caught sight of the familiar stranger across the crowded airport, my breath hitched. I watched as her brown hair cascaded down her back, swaying flawlessly as she spun around and met a blonde woman with a big slap on the latter's arm. I can only guess what their conversation was because I can't really hear it from where I'm standing. I glanced at their gate, and it seemed sila na lang yung inaantay. I then looked up at the screen above their boarding gate and made a mental note of their destination: Melbourne, Australia.

...

As soon as I returned to Manila, I wasted no time and went straight to work. Days blurred into nights as I painted, fueled by passion and coffee. Grace would occasionally check on me, making sure I'd eaten or sometimes dragging me outside for a brisk walk to get my dose of sunlight. However, most days, the woman would leave me to my own devices, and I'd lose myself in the rhythm of my brush against the canvas until exhausting would force me to sleep.