chasing angels ・❥・Brian O'Connor fic

chapter fourty nine ・❥・ death wish

・❥・

Lolas pov...

I felt like a criminal.

I was a criminal, I ticked every damn box on the fucking list- and I was unapologetic about it. I was being sneaky because I had to be, not because I wanted to be. I wanted it all and refused to give any of it up, so if I had to sneak around Dom to keep the last of my chaotic relationship together, I would do it. Besides, it wasn't like Dom was a saint. Lies used to roll off of his tongue like his empty promises.

"I don't want you getting involved in this shit," my brother muttered from beside me, making me roll my eyes at his stupidity.

"I'm already involved."

After running out of Brian's apartment, I'd started walking home only to be picked up by Dom half way through. He got a name, I found the location, and we were on our way to get some fucking answers- we were getting them no matter what.

With a sigh, my brother slyly side eyed me. "You know how this is gonna end, right?"

There was only one way it was going to end, and it was with the man who murdered Letty dead.

The guilt and emptiness was morphing into full fucking rage, the same way it did when Jesse was murdered. Letty was going to be avenged, and there was nothing nobody could do to stop me or change my mind. I was in the car, I watched her die- it was only right the man who killed her also ended up with a bullet in his head.

I didn't want to be a violent person, but violence was so far tangled into me it was all I knew- and despite the bullshit people said, violence sometimes was the answer.

"Letty was family." I snapped coldly. She'd do the same for me if I was the one who died in the car, she'd avenge me too. "And this is gonna end the way it should." With the man dead and me and Dom on the run for the rest of our lives.

I was going to sacrifice it all for Letty.

With narrowed eyes, Dom half frowned, half scowled at me. "You've grown up. You've changed." He muttered, stating the obvious.

Sarcasm was on the tip of my tongue, obviously I changed in five years. "Nothing changed that much."

"You're not a kid anymore."

"I was never really a kid," I threw back, shutting my brother up and making a hint of a smirk ghost my lips.

He rolled his eyes at me like a sore loser. "You're right, kids don't commit arson."

"For fucks sake," I groaned, was he still on about that? "That was one time, Dom. And besides, that wasn't my fault."

It was Lettys, but he still blamed me for it.

I glanced at my brother to see a smile on his lips before it suddenly vanished and his eyes went cold. Some things changed, but he never did. He still gave me emotional whiplash. And from the way his jaw was set, I could tell there was a question on the tip of his tongue.

"Who was after her?"

I was going to fucking explode.

My hands balled into fists on my lap as I tried not to glare daggers at my brother. What he had been doing to me since the moment he arrived was the closest to torture I've ever experienced. The same question, being asked, like a broken record.

"I don't know," I snapped through gritted teeth, but there was no point in answering him, he'd ask again and again even though my answer didn't change.