When Your Card Gets Declined At Therapy | Poetry Collection Part 1 ©

Un-Friended.

The most upsetting thing I believe is
I was never too much.

Yet you let me know, deceived my eyes,
Until behind all that disguise
I fell for it.

Not too much to ask for,
No one I have never been.

One thing you couldn't stand - pretending.
So I didn't, until I was so sick of pretending I wasn't pretending - a devil's circle, one that's never ending.

Not too much, but not good enough.

When it came to pictures, you used to stand in front, showed your perfect teeth prompt...

You knew it, you were everything I dreamed to achieve.
Yet I didn't, because you told me if I did I'd be a thief.

What was something you had protected? Was there something...you defended?

Not the last choice, also not the first.

So when you met up with your kin,
you made me feel like being with me was a sin.

We were friends, met on weekends, laughed.
Sang to Katy Perry, off-key,
It was just me being me and you being...

You've changed, you know?
From being so kind and going with the flow to absolutely despising me.
People leave an impact, perhaps hers left one on you,
A remark so hurtful I'd pick every star from the sky until it's left as an empty sea of eather,
just to have a chance at me and you together.

Not a third wheel, but you've let me know
When I was in the way.

Between you two holding hands, your arm around her waist,
I was pushed aside
Like a teddy on the shelf, left for when you're alone.

But that time never came,
And I'm still not recovered, I never do.
And my home doesn't feel the same
Without you.

Because it was your teddy bear
Life can't always be fair.
It's the one she gifted to you
I was empty-handed, only you knew.

Hell, I see the empty marks on the wilted wallpaper
Recent placements of our pictures.
I tore them off, like I tore my heart apart
To find a reason why you'd leave me
In the dark.

Is she more than me? Is she everything you'd want to be?

Not too much, not enough.
I remember the last voice message.
Never heard your voice this rough
To me.

Not an ally, not an enemy either
Scaled the highs and lows
I'm not your friend anymore, it's how that goes
And I'm not your neighbor, neither.

Did it feel righteous to move out?
Now I'm left, on and about,
Wishing to reverse back time.

To an eventuality where you could have been mine.