The cry of the soul

Is it just me or .....

I went on and on blabbering but why was she not blowing her whistle like always?The only time I would be away from my mom would be when I was in school or summer camp and everytime I came back I would be so delighted to see my darling Geraldine and I would just turn into this loquacious ten year old and she would blow a whistle to put an end to my rambling. She was not doing that now she was just lying there. 'Maybe she's tired and that's why she did not even bother to reach the bed'. So I lay besides her too ,we slept together on the floor, a peaceful night at long last.But then dawn broke and morning came ,I thought only darkness brought despair but then I guess I did not know a lot back then ,I knew only what my mom,my teachers and cartoons taught me otherwise I was just dear Catlyn who would try and eat her boogers everytime her mom was not watching.The curtains were opened so the sun rays streamed through the window,casting a warm glow in the room ,they then fell on me and ruined my sleep I was now wide awake. When I opened my eyes I was lying on my back, my vision fuzzy at first but my attention was caught by the light up ceiling toys ,mom had still not taken them down yet ,She was not with the fact that baby Catlyn was growing.
'Mom' I whispered.
As I remembered I came in search of Geraldine before I fell asleep next to her .I turned to look and she was sleeping on her side facing the other way,'but she never sleeps in' I thought to myself. It took me a while to realise the pool of blood she was laying on, some parts dried up while some were fresh I glared at her dumbfounded. I began calling out to her and shaking her in an attempt to wake her up but it was futile everytime.I had never seen no one in that condition let alone my mom so I did not really know what to do but wail, so hard that I began to feel the tension in my jaws ,down my neck and at the back of my head. My eyes swelled up and I had a splitting headache. I got up to my feet to go and get her some water 'She might be thirsty' I said at the back of my mind. As I stumbled to the kitchen I realised the mess in the living it looked as though Geraldine had borrowed it to cats and dogs for the night, the cushions were all over the floor. Mom hated that and I would get into so much trouble everytime I did that,she sent me into time-out for ten minutes so I began running all over the place picking them up and neatly arranging them on the sectional sofa.I was going to pick up the shards of glass too but then I remembered that mom had told me that if I ever broke a glass I should never try to clean it up because 'glass may be beautiful but it cuts' she said .So instead I ran back to her room to go and call her so she can give me a hand.But I halted just by her bedroom door as I remembered that I had left to go and fetch some water so I went back. This pure innocent soul was about to discover that life is not the Disneyland that her mother had always potrayed it to be .My mom would cover my ears and eyes whenever something wrong was going on or being said but now she was not even moving and I was seeing a lot of new things.This time my eyes got stuck to the floor tile, I followed the trail of blood from my mom's room ,which went right across the living room and ended in the kitchen where there was a knife, a cleaver .It had blood all over it.I picked it up and sprinted to go show it to my mother but she was still not opening her eyes and talking to me.Dejected I dropped the knife to the floor it clattered... I looked at the blood on my hands it was an appalling sight it was red, bright red I looked at my mom and her face and chest were also covered in blood.I tried to wipe off the blood on my hands with my night dress but it was not coming off completely, I ran to the bathroom and opened the tap to wash my hands .I watched as the red filled the bathroom sink,the tap was also stained I tried to wash it but things got messy.I ran out of the bathroom and my mom was still laying in the same spot and position I broke out in a cold sweat.What was going on?I sat at her head with my legs crossed and placed her head on my lap and began caressing her hair, giving her kisses on the forehead periodically. After a long while the red dissolved away to a dark crimson then scabs over it, when I scratched her head it bled droplets of dark crimson blood,this made me bawl my eyes out because I knew my Geraldine was hurt and that is why she was bleeding.I then remembered that everytime I would get a bruise or a cut my mom would give me first aid and I would feel so much better so I charged to the living room to get the kit .But I had no idea what went where and for what purpose so I just applied antiseptic, I was so desperate to get her to feel better that I throwing everything all over the place applying antibiotic creams and covering her with band aids haphazardly.When nothing seemed to be helping my mind ceased to work I sat at the corner with my knees close to my chest and my hands over them and began to cry my eyes out,I do not even remember when I fell asleep .When I opened my eyes my Geraldine was still laying there,it was a Saturday and we were supposed to be having a girl's day out .I went and knelt by her head and told her

"Mom it's okay if you don't have money to go to the park we can just stay in but please talk to me"

I took her head to place it on my lap, I was startled to discover her skin was so soft and cold so I ran to her closet,took out her duvet and covered her with it.I sat there and pat my Geraldine as she slept.When I was tired of sitting upright I got inside the blanket to cuddle her but I was met by a foul smell,it smelled like rotting meat with fruity undertones.I then ran to the kitchen to grab a basin and filled it with water, my feet racked with pain but I was beggining to get acquainted with the feeling that it was a walk in the park to discount it and carry the basin filled with water back to my mom's room.I took her washing rag,submerged it in water and began cleaning her face.As I did I realised another uncanny change to my Geraldine's skin , it was discolored. Pinkish to dark purple it looked.I pulled out all the stops to remove the discoloration,fruitlessly.The sun was about to set,my stomach was growling,I was shaking and my head was aching.I was used to watching my mom fast for days it was a first for me and it was not cool at all.There was nothing in the fridge but a leftover sandwich so I had that and came back to lay next to my mom.It was the longest night ever ,no lullabye ,no bedtime story,an entire day without getting an earful.It was bizarre and definitely not fun maybe mom thought it was but for me it was definitely not.I decided to pull my old trick ,go to bed exasperated and wait to be woken up in the morning with a glass of milk and a slice of swiss roll. I marched upstairs to my room with folded hands while pouting,I made sure to be as loud as I so she would hear me, when I got to my room I banged the door behind me and sat on my cot with a wide smirk I was sure I had her wrapped around my finger now.I chuckled

"Let's see how you ignore me now beautiful Geraldine".

I closed my eyes and slept,it was one perfect cat nap until the sun rays fell on my face and I was up."But where is Geraldine with my appeasement snacks",I asked myself. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a bath and put on my grey burlap sack for the wonderful Sunday morning.I checked the clock,it was 08:30 am there were only 30 minutes left before my grandma Mary and Uncle Jose came by the house to pick us up to go to church.We all went to Jehovah Yahweh Ministries International so we rode together every Sunday and would occasionally go to Mary's for lunch after church.I hopped into my pumps and ran downstairs to check what dear Geraldine was up to and why she she did not come up to gladden me yet after the tantrum I pulled the previous night.I was halfway down the stairs when I was met by a revolting smell that lingered in the air .I covered my nose but the smell was just so strong and it was emanating from mom's room.I walked slowly to her room and stood by the door,I rushed in when I saw that my dear Geraldine was engulfed in flies.She was covered with white dots ,eggs laid by flies .I tried to swat them away but there was just too many of them and they would come back to her everytime. I was angry and helpless, crying so hard I could feel the salty taste of my mucus in my mouth.The maladorous corruption inbred in the room triggered my sinuses,it was so unbearable I even regurgitated.I ran to the toilet to throw up but it was like the emanation was getting worse by the second.But I could not leave my Geraldine alone there so I just took a handkerchief and covered my nose,not that it helped,I sat at her head waiting for her to wake up so we could go to church.It was then that I heard the door bell so I went to open the door, it was Mary and Jose.When I opened the door they both covered their noses and exclaimed

"phew!!are you guys keeping dead rats as pets or what"

I told them "No it's mom" They looked at each other in confusion and then Gran told me I should not say that about my mom they might be a problem with the sink, drain or something.I held Mary Louis' s soft and wrinkled hands and led her to mom's room I told her about all of Geraldine's tantrums and asked that she reprimand her for me

'she is not even ready for church yet Gran' ,I added.

I got inside the room but she left my hand at the door ,I turned to check up on her she looked as though her eyes would pop out of their pockets,she turned pale in an instant ,her lips chapped ,she kept murmuring, her mouth was wide open but I could not hear a word she said.I turned to see Uncle Jose ,his mouth agape he then swiftly pulled me out of the room and touched my face here and there as if confused whether to cover my ears or eyes. He pulled me close to him expeditiously and began to bawl his eyes out,I was demented, he then picked me up and grabbed Mary's hand. I began to cry too but not because they were crying but because they were storming out of the house leaving my Geraldine behind,they even closed the main door behind them.I was fighting to loosen his grip so I could go back to my mom but he tightened his hold on me every time I tried. Before I knew there were police cars and paramedics as far as the eye could see,the wailing sound of sirens made my head incapacitate. Soon my vision became hazy and darkness engulfed my little world.