The cry of the soul

I thought I knew myself until..

I was in the kitchen whipping up dinner that evening when Jacob came back home from work.I did not even hear him come in until ,

'Uuuh',he sighed.

'Long day at work ?' I asked. He had this bersek client at the top of his morning .He said he had to tolerate him because the gentlemen was well heeled.

'When I became a lawyer'....

Nonchalantly his voice faded away into the interior of the dark brown wallpapers in the living room.I could not help but think about Jaden.I had always thought that I was not boy crazy considering I was eighteen and had no boyfriend yet but it was like that part of me had changed overnight or maybe a part of me I had always suppressed was fighting it's way out to the open for everyone to see.There he was ,strolling around the kitchen like he owned the place.He wore his black sweatpants with his Calvin Klein underwear going slightly above his pants.His mere presence exuded sexuality in a whole new level it sent me into overdrive.I gingerly fondled my lips as I reminisced the gentle touch of his soft warm hands that I had admired the first time I saw linger skilfully over the piano in music class.A sound that screamed loneliness,pain and anger ,maybe he was hiding all that under that scrumptious face of his. I was slapped awake from my thoughts by Jacob as he hugged me from behind. I switched. Mmh!!He smelled nice,that kind of fragrance that enchants and ignites.He kissed and ran his tongue all round my neck ,talk about the night before.

'Let me make dinner for you' ,I whispered and chuckled.

'What's for dessert? He asked playfully.

He held me tightly and slowly let go.In his arms I felt like a baby ,no stress,no nightmares,Geraldine's screams also seemed to fade whenever he would take me in his arms. Our eyes met for while as if our souls had intertwined a the moment and he had my all while I had his. I heard it is supossed to feel like heaven but still something was amiss. I blame the fairy tales we grew up listening to.However in that present moment I did not want to ruin what I had going on ,I do not remember when was the last time before that that I felt so carefree. Where I just acted recklessly without thinking of the consequences. You know like a normal teenager because circumstances in life had always forced me to grow up sooner. Fragile ,broken and useless at 10.I did not want to spend the rest of my life like that. I still remember that stormy and dark Friday from seven years ago when the police had come to our house. I was sitting behind the stair case hiding from them when I heard them tell Jacob that they are shutting down my mom's case because her autopsy report had come in.

' It seems she OD'd on Fentanyl and heroin ,it had been found in extremely high dosage in her system' said the man with the cool cap,shiny badges and baton.

Do you buy that ?Well I didn't , I still don't.The hot man at the rehabilitation centre spent five months trying to convince me my description of the night Geraldine died was just a reaction to the trauma, I say bullshit .Sometimes the 10 year old me highkey wanted to ask him 'Man,so you actually get paid to say this sh*t to people?But you cannot say that to the big guy right ?Well it's not like the ACP was going to take the word of a kid who was ruled schizophrenic over the post mortem reports, but I still say crap.Well if you are wondering, that's how I recovered from the trauma. The pain and sadness was affecting my acadenic work ,it was getting worse with every paper I wrote because neither was I studying or putting in any effort to improve my grades and rise back to the A student I had always been .One day ,dear Geraldine visited me in my dreams I believe because I woke up with these words lingering on my lips,

'Crying will not change what happened and it certainly won't take away the pain.

That's when I decided to stop being a whiner.I decided I would go to school ,graduate,become a prosecutor and reopen my mother's case.Because I still don't sleep well thinking that her killer is roaming scot free after taking her away from me just like that. Well except when I had Jacob's dick inside of me,I don't think then I just cum for him. Hard!!Speaking of cum,I could feel my panties soaking wet as he kept grabbing my ass as I served dinner.Its hard to resist when he is that good with his hands,the way he smacks his lips when he is eating  his food made me think of how he was munching on me last night.I could not help but watch him all the time,it was as though we switched roles because it was his favourite thing to watch.I listened to music as he worked on his case in the study room,I went to check up on him after a good fifty minutes of Keeping up with The Kardashians but man was knocked out.I woke him up and we went to bed,haha sike !! I slept in my room okay. The salad and chicken was nice but the sleep was fab.Eventhough I was just with my dad Jacob ,Jaden's grip on my thighs was still fresh. Warm and monumental like he had imprinted me or some thing. It was so crazy I woke up so aroused that thinking of him and rubbing my coochie was not of any help.I woke and got ready for school .Like everyday Jacob dropped me there on his way to his office.We jammed to Lil Wayne's lollipop, it's both our favourite ,it turns him on and it turns me on to see him so turned on.Jacob does not really care whether we are in a car in the middle of the road or at home he always knows how to get what he wants .That day he asked me to give him my panties so he could take them with him to the office and think of me during the day and hark back to the night we made out.I took them off slowly and missing no chance to flaunt my well shaved long legs ,his eyes lit up ,he grabbed the panties, sniffed them inhaling deeply,he turned and exhaled right on my lips.They touched his ,once he's there I can't resist.I grabbed his belt and loosened it and unbuttoned his fancy pants ,he packed the car on the road side. I wittily moved over to his seat pulling my skirt up and sat on top of it and began to grind as he solidly grabbed my waist pressing my body against his.His tepid sighs bouncing on my boobs and neck created a sexual sequel out of this world at this point I just wanted to go back home and spend the rest of my day like that but he had to work so.I cleaned up with baby wipes and cleaned him up too even though he 'complained' I was making him hard again.You would think it doesn't get any better right?!The siren went off just as I entered the classroom and took my seat ,well atleast I was not late .I sat anxiously through the first four periods,ardently waiting for break time because I wanted to see Jaden .Well I'm not really sure if I wanted to see him ,I was terrified of how our next meeting was going to go.Let alone that I was more terrified of what he must be thinking of me. He must be thinking I'm some kind of slut or whore who brings toys to school to play with herself in the absence of teachers well was I ?Or even worse he must be thinking I am I loose girl who has probably had almost half of the school boys's dicks inside of her. All this made my head ache.See this is the problem it's easy for boys to just hit and run but when a girl does it everyone comments on her character and makes a mountain out of a molehill. I was sitting there thinking about what he thinks of me but did he even remember, at that time I could bet he did not even know my name nor did he try to look me up after while I almost burnt my chicken stalking him on Instagram last night.When the siren finally went off for break time I could not even bring myself to leave for the canteen.But I had to I was famished .When I entered the canteen I noticed he was sitting at his table with his friends Christian and Nick .They were the only people I've seen him hang out with ever since he was transferred so we all concluded bestfriends!!I went and got my food endeavouring to not
glance at him and give out creepy stalker vibes plus what was I expecting,a proposal ?It pained to even swallow,I was a fool for expecting to see his eyes light up when he saw me followed by a killer smile. He walked past me like he did not know me,I could feel the chilly and tensed air thicken and slap me right across my face.

'Well that went haywire', I said to myself giving a loud sigh and pushing my plate of food across the table.

I left for class.That day of all days I saw him a lot more than normal around school it was like the universe had turned against me ,twisting the knife in my already puntured heart. I had Chemistry class with Nick so I was much more familiar with him out of the three hotties ,we were even assigned a pair work the last lesson where he was absent. When I left the canteen at lunch he stopped me to inquire about the assignment because we had Chemistry class the following day.I wanted to thank him for reminding me about the lesson because it had slipped my mind completely but what I wanted more was to strangle him for he had just confirmed to me that that Jaden was indeed trying to ignore me. When Nick and I were talking Christian stopped to say hi but Jaden just walked away he did not even wait for them. Second slap in the face in less than five hours!!But then I had an even bigger problem. Nick said that he was going over to Jaden's place for a golf match later .Fancy right ?He seemed to care less about the presentation but I needed those marks.

'Come over and we'll prepare for the presentation if you want',he said.

I would not mind if we were meeting at his place or mine but Jaden's place was just crazy.Where is my self respect midst all this people ?This is one of the reason why I hate pair work,joint marks!!

'House number 305,Heinvill street', I told Jacob.

He dropped me there at five'o'clock and gave me money to uber back home afterwards because he had a bussiness dinner that would go on until later that day. I expected fancy after the golf match was mentioned but my eyes were met by paradise.You could swear they were royals. My mouth was agape. From the expertly pruned trees to the water fountains,designer chandeliers and art paintings. Exquisite!!When I walked in his butler led me to the golf course were they were playing. Sweat is supposed to make a person look all dirty but on him ,my mind went cray cray .His firm and hairy thighs in the white shorts ,his eyes as he gazed upon the ball God! It should be illegal to look like that. His golf t-shirt gave off what he had been hiding in his blazer.

'So you work out huuh?I whispered and chuckled.

But I immediately snapped out of it and sat there waiting for them to finish , two slaps were enough for the day.When Nick was done cleaning up we went to the study and began working on our presentation .We sat right across each other in the glass table so our legs touched underneath. It hit me that I was not wearing panties. Adrenaline!! I tried to shake off the feeling but it was hard I kept stammering I was scared he was going to notice. My body gave me away as always,

' Why are you breathing so heavily' he asked as he leaned over.