The cry of the soul

A friend or an enemy ?

When I opened my eyes I was at the back of an ambulance a woman wearing scrubs and a white cap was tending to me. My left hand was numb and moving was nerve wracking. A long tube with water running in it was connected to my shoulder and went all the way to this enormous machine with multiple buttons.I tried to get up but the woman kept restraining me to the emergency stretcher bed.When she stepped out of the ambulance I thought that was the right time to get out of there and go out to look for my Geraldine.When I got out it was like I had blacked out for a moment and got teleported to another dimension,it was not my world ,where I had grown ,where I had learnt to speak and walk. It was total disarray. I had never seen so many people at our house even during thanksgiving. There were people in groups taking photos, the camera flashes were blinding and I was getting really edgy.There were lots of police officers with some really cool walkie talkies,I could see everyone except beautiful Geraldine. I then saw a police officer and two nurses pushing a stretcher,they passed right by me it was Molly,my pet dog .But she looked really strange her stomach was so big .I had seen and nursed her numerous times when she was bloated and it looked nothing like that.Her eyes were horrifying , they were wide open but she was not blinking,she was not breathing.It struck me that it had been two days since I had seen Molly.I ran after the stretcher and asked the police man where they found him

'The water storage container' he said as he pointed towards the courtyard.

I wondered if that was what got dear Geraldine all shaken up on Friday afternoon.

'That reminds me....mom!' I called out in a rustling voice.

Have you ever felt like your heart has stopped beating?That your soul has left your body and you are wondering how you are still breathing?It's like something is stuck on your windpipe and breathing becomes strenuous.You want to talk but it's like someone who has a magical remote to your voice box suddenly tones down your voice to zero.There was this stretcher to my side and someone was laying on it covered with a white cloth from head to toe.I don't why but I could not bring myself to walk past it ,my gaze fixed deadly on it. Suddenly a cool breeze came,the weather was also changing ,dark clouds hovered and the first thunder struck. The white cloth on the body flew away with the wind or should I say my soul flew away.For a while it lingered in the air .Dear Geraldine was laying there.I could not move ,it was like my feet were glued to the ground.The second thunder struck and the rain fell, people started running for cover but then they took away the stretcher .I watched as they loaded it on the ambulance. Suddenly my knees were weak and I fell to the ground.I fell but my gaze still fixed on the ambulance .If death has a smell I swear I smelled it that day. My mind was denying it the entire time but at that point it just came to me .I could swear my heart was bleeding but when I reached my hand to check there was no trace of blood.It was like someone had struck a spear to my precious little heart and was moving it around because it hurt more and more as the ambulance drove away.It was raining so hard the potholes in front of our home were filled with water in the blink of an eye,I could hear voices calling out to me but I just could not discern where they were coming from or to be honest I was not even trying to.The rain showers clouded my vision but I could hear the sound of an engine revving approaching me,when it was close enough I figured it was a demio,Jose's baby,Mary was with him.She rolled down the window as they continued to call out to me but their voices just echoed in my head .I could not even make out what they were saying but I could make out from their hands signs that they were signalling me to come to the car.Its not that I was stubborn or disobedient I just did not feel like moving a bone let alone run. My entire body was aching ,my mind exhausted and my soul? I wonder how long was it planning to hover around in the air.I just sat there and stared at them,Jose opened the door and started charging towards me.I felt like running away,far away where nobody could ever find me or even better run until I was at heaven's doorstep.Atleast then my heart would find solace again reuniting with the lover of my soul beautiful Geraldine. But how far could my little feet take me ?It was more than I could swallow,he caught up with me after just six steps and carried me back to the car with him .I was throwing punches and strikes but the old man was just not willing to let me go.We then arrived at Mary's,as the sun set people started gathering in the yard,a grey tent was set up and food was prepared in large pots.It looked more like a celebration that a mourning period to me.How were people still able to talk ,laugh and be a leisure even though I had just lost my mom.When she was still here and we were over at Mary's atleast two people would have asked me if I was okay,if I wanted to something to eat and all that stuff but then nobody had come .I was wandering around the house when I saw my grandma laying on her tummy in the living room so I went and lay besides her .The following day something blood curdling happened ,they were in their service like the previous day but they had held it in the early am at around six am . The pastor was preaching and would sporadically allow the church choir to sing hymns,it made me remember my Sundays with Geraldine and I was missing her so much.I was in Mary's room and was scrutinizing everything from behind the curtain, when I would see someone laugh out loud I would feel like walking up to them and giving them a piece of my mind. But that is not what had terror stricken small Catlyn. Midst the service about five cars entered through the main gate,people began crying. Bewilderd I froze and watched the cars move,while the others parked in the shades ,this other black limo made it's way midst the crowd and parked among them.A man came out and opened the doors of the limo and took out a casket. It had dark wood mouldings,colums,ear pannels.Alluring tapered edges-wide and narrow in all the right places.I was seeing one for the very first time. It was carried to the pulpit and placed on a shiny catafalque.I got down from Mary's bed and ran to the tent ,they were suffocating my mom,how did they expect her to breathe in there?I went and told Uncle Jose but he said it was best she remains in there.They were not letting me see her ,they did not even open the casket. From behind a varnity mirror into to an air tight container wow Geraldine!!From grooming yourself up and pestering me about if your make up looked good enough or not to not letting me see your face even for a split second.I was just a bag of potatoes ,no say in anything,to be transported around without my permission.I rode with Mary to the cemetery,her condition made my heart ache but atleast someone was as sad as me about my queen's departure.When the coffin was going down my heart sank along with it, that hole was far too deep she was not going to survive in there,hehe!!The mind of a ten year old. I felt a lump in my windpipe,breathing became so difficult.They started covering the grave with soil,with every load of soil thrown ,my hope of seeing Geraldine went out window.This was not a dream ,it was not a Saturday night prank she was gone,just like that,without a warning,without any greetings. Reality kicked in, I had just watched her being carried underground and covered with heaps of soil there was no trace of her.I needed another chance ,another shot at this ,I would not trouble her this time I would not argue with her and do everything she says.I fathom my prayers were too late ,she was not coming back and there was nothing in this world I could say or do to bring her back.I was in excruciating pain I tried rubbing my chest but it was not helping,at some point I wished she could just come back and take me with her because I was suffocating there without her.She was my addiction that no rehab could fix,her face was the first thing I used to see when I woke up and the last before I fell asleep. When we went back home it broke my heart to see my cousins with their parents ,I had only one and now she was gone too.I sat in Mary's room until later that day in the evening,when I stepped out of the room the elders were in a meeting in the living room,I could see them but they did not see me because they went on with their discussion or was it that they just did not care ?I sat behind the sofa and listened to them squabble over my guardian like they were fighting over who would watch over a pet dog whilst the others went out or who was going to have the last slice of pizza.I learnt the term 'burden' at a very tender age,how was I supposed to take it at 10 when none of the elders were not ready for it.I was there when my mother's house was being auctioned.All my childhood memories,memories of me and Geraldine gone just like that at a man in a black suit and shades's 1,2,3 and a loud thud of a yellow gravel, bang!!Her clothes,shoes,her varnity mirror were distributed among the people some who I was seeing for the first time.I had took my souvenir to my mom from the dressing table and packed it along with my lagguage ,that was all I got ,not that I understood anything about wills back then.Soon everyone was leaving,everyone was packing their backs to go back to their cities,their places of work,I understand why everyone was packing their bags but why was Mary packing my bags?Bag of potatoes!!The following day at around eight am I woke up to find that everyone was in a meeting again it is just that this time there was a new member on board.But who was it?It was a new face ,he had dreadlocks and a thick beard,he had monolid eyes with thick dark eyelashes as if he was wearing mascara.When I walked in he stood up to greet me he was so tall he could reach the chandelier. I'm kidding.But his smile was exhilarating.When he mentioned he knew my mom I was no longer alarmed. He made me sit on his lap and offered me a lollipop,Geraldine never allowed me to eat sweets unless there was a special occasion so I passed the offer by shaking my head.Everyone was trying to talk to talk to me but I did not really feel like talking to anyone,my mind was running a marathon miles away from where I was .They handed me over,a few hugs and kisses and out the door.That's what I used to do to Molly when she wanted to play but I was busy ,to drive her away without hurting her feelings.Hehe!!We left for his house in a black range rover,it was fancy,it smelled nice and was very comfortable. It was very cool inside and made the road as fresh as it was day after construction. Not that it helped me get my mind off dear Geraldine but it felt good.So Santa as I was told to call him was very accommodating that I actually began to like him.In just a week he had brought home new toys,new clothes and enrolled me in a prestigious school.However our little conversation had still shook me up.How was he my mother's boyfriend and I did not know about him ?!