The cry of the soul

Along the run...

I sat up and listened attentively to confirm whether or not it was a dream or someone was headed upstairs.The footsteps got louder and louder,then stopped in front of my bedroom,I could see the shadow from underneath my door. After a long while the door creaked as it opened slowly,it's funny how at that point nothing scared me no more. The rollercoaster of emotions I had been during the past few days had robbed me of my raw emotions and I had become a mute spectator,knee deep in a persistent vegetative state,as high and dry as a patient in a coma lying there dependent sorely on the work of the 19 centuary physician,engineer and physiologist,Paul Beth.But lamentably for me there was no life support machine to sustain me .And even though it is an invention of high technology it stood no chance before my condition because physically I was a 100% only my mental was ravaged and needed immediate attention which I never got as far as I can remember. So I would just sit on my hands watching episodes in my life ,episodes I had never imagined or dreamt about even on the darkest and heavily rained nights of my life unfold.I ignored the shadow that tiptoed into my room and lay on my side pulling my pink comforter to my shoulders ,no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was not afraid my body language failed me terribly.The strands of my hair stood up,a sweat so cold tickled down my spine.Suddenly it felt like the air conditioner was malfunctioning,it got very hot ,the hotness way above normal,the one that alerts one of incoming danger.At one point I got fed up of all the suspense and spooky Halloween aura and pushed away the blanket to look the 'intruder' in the eye .It was dark with only a channel of light coming through the door illuminating from the lights on the staircase,I could only see the shadow of this person on the white walls.But I could swear he was close litteraly so close I could hear him breath ,the warmth in his breath falling directly on my face as if the room was not exuding a lot of heat than usual already ,causing me to sweat litters .But this warmth was different, it was creepy but it also came with a package of an incredibly new sensation,one I've never felt or come across. After about what seemed like forever the temperature went down as the footsteps receeded.Which thief comes to steal and leaves without a single loot ?He is either very smart or Tom in the flesh. He went out and closed the door behind him and that was it.Or was it?The next morning was very awkward and weird ,atleast for me it was, Jacob acted as if the previous night never came. Did he hurt his head and blow a fuse ?How come he was so normal about everything ?But 'all is well that ends well' ,I thought .I was sitting at the dining table when Jacob brought my school bag, it was a brand new barbie with a water bottle and lunchbag combo. I opened it and was wowed but more touched because dear Geraldine used to pack my lunch box like that every morning. Can you believe I even went to school in the cool big car? Visiting the park on the weekends and coming home to a bowl of ice cream after I aced my tests became the new normal.I even got a dog people!!I named her Zarah, she became the newest member of the family until Ryan and Bush came along .In seven years we grew to a big family of five.We would have a blast just by taking the dogs to the dog park and when Jacob would get days off work we would visit grandma. No cooking in the world can beat my grandmas I would clear my plate plane and lick my fingers for dessert. Hehe!!It was that good I swear, her love was the icing on the cake.Jacob was that father I never had ,his presence in my life slowly started to overshadow the pain of Geraldine 's departure from my life.I started to miss her less it scared me that I might forget her but the nightmares made that impossible. After every one once in a while the scab would fall off and the healing wound would start to bleed again,so profusely it hurt my soul.But Jacob was always there to embrace me whenever I would have my episodes.He would make up stories in an attempt to make me believe the incidents in my nightmares never occurred in real life but it was so difficult because I had the first hand experience and I was growing up, with that my mind also developing and making sense of a lot of things that never did.But I would always appreciate the thought,atleast he tried to lessen the pain just that it was way too stubborn. Otherwise I was always happy and more happy on my birthdays because Jacob would go all out and leave no stone unturned to mesmerize me and my sweet eighteen was coming up.On the big day we went out shopping for my birthday outfit in the morning ,he could not buy my birthday outfits anymore because I was getting big for all the glittery dresses and bows he would buy me on my previous birthdays so my first gift for my eighteenth birthday was that I got to pick my outfit for the day. Okay!! There I was in my brand new black mini dress and pink stylish, comfortable chunky heels.Jacob had even bought me a shiny crown and a wand for the photo shoot, the day was far beyond what I imagined it would be.We then had lunch with the rest of the family members at Jacob's farmhouse,we 'ended' the day with a braii session and beer .I sat on the couch on the courtyard sipping on some apple frozen apple margarita mocktail from the brand new cognac ballon glass Jacob had bought ealier on that day just for the occasion and watched everyone shake a leg on the dance floor as they enjoyed their beer.Jacob then came up to me and offered me a glass as if he sensed that deep down I had this desire to taste beer for the first time ever.I was a little reluctant until he threw in that dad voice and assured me this was a once in a lifetime opportunity,imagine your father offering you beer ,well he was my my stepfather but no less than my father.So I took a shot,it was so strong and bitter I felt a tingling and burning sensation on my throat but at the same time strong,and powerful.He let me drink until I nearly finished the entire bottle of Zinfandel 'but why', I complained he had finished his bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and I did not say anything.He said it was so that I do not get wasted that I cannot enjoy my last surprise of the evening .Who doesnt love surprises? I stopped without a fuss as soon as he mentioned it.But my head was feeling heavy so I lay back on the couch to rest .Remember that confusing warmth from six years ago it dawned upon me again.But this time it was very strong like a nuclear force,highkey screaming my name,my mind,body and soul just melted at it's call.If only it had a voice I would fall a thousand times more, 'Caitlyn' ,he called out.It was Jacob ,expecting to snap out of it all I sat up but it only got stronger. I swear even Ernest Rutherford of the early 1930's would not be able to explain this kind of attraction I felt.He asked why I looked as if I had seen a ghost, I would tell him if I knew. He then placed his hand on my lap and every bit of me paused it was not the first time Jacob touched me,I mean come on the man used to bathe me so why all this undefined feelings.I then concluded that it was because I was having erotic thoughts just a while ago.I left there under the pretext of having to answer nature's call.I sat in the bathroom to get a breather until it was time to go home.When I got in the car I found Jacob already sitting in the car and we drove away as soon as I got in .The weather was perfect for a late night drive it was chilly,the wind felt so great on my skin, the coup de grâce was when Jacob placed his hand on my lap again but this time he moved on to caress my inner thighs.I turned my head to look at him ,he had his eyes locked on the road.After a long while a found myself admiring his fair almost pale white skin as we passed under the street lights his unfathomable,golden brown eyes contrasted exceptionally with his light toned face.He would turn to look at me occasionally and when he did his face had this faraway look in it that cannot be described in words.For the first time ever I noticed his strong jawline and full lips ,the masterstroke was his chiseled cheekbones. He was alluring.I still can't believe I said that!!He got more aggressive with his touches but it was surprisingly the best feeling ever.Lost in the journey oestrogen was providing for me I forgot I was sitting next to my father.It was a new experience for me hence it was difficult to remain calm but he,he just sat there, the confidence in his grins gave me immense pleasure for some reason and it was clear he was having a very good time watching me like that because he kept going .At one point I placed my palm on his toned chest I could sit there all night and caress his broad shoulders and biceps all night.I snapped out of it all when he suddenly hit the brakes and slowly withdrew his hands from in between my thighs which were pressed together screaming 'no please don't stop, please!!'But he did it anyway and he enjoyed every second of it ,man knew what he was doing. The never ending smirks on his face said it all.The gate opened and we parked the car in the garage locking eyes which increased the sexual tension even further.What's funny was that a part of me was telling me I was so wrong for even looking at my father that way but a bigger part of me did not even see my father ,he was just a stud-muffin at the time,so tempting and sultry. He got off the car and went over to my side of the door and opened the door for me.Fancy, I know!!He stood there but something in me took over my morals I took off my heels and threw them the floor.'Ooops!!'I exclaimed flirtyly.He picked up the heels and carried me in his arms. Damn!!the warmth.In his arms I felt like a baby ,a small baby that just needed her 'daddy's ' care so bad.He carried me till me his room and sat me on the couch,he went into his closet to take out my last gift of the evening so I patiently waited on the couch .He came back with a gift box and handed it over to me. He then went and sat on his chair by the corner with his gaze fixed on me he took out a plum from the fruit basket on the table and began to munch on it seductively it made me so wet to watch him do that.I untied the strings on the gift box to see what's inside .When I peeped inside my jaw dropped ,there was a black latex corset with matching lace thongs.'Go put it on' he said in a deep euphonic voice.