Tristful // a.i

Chapter 4

Lola POV

"Wait, what?" I can not believe what I'm hearing, I really hope this is the drunk Luke talking. If this really is how Luke feels, do I feel the same?

"I said, I love you."

There is something about his eyes when he says this, they look complete, almost as if they have finally found a purpose. This truly is how Luke feels, I feel broken.

"Wow." Is all I can manage to whisper, I look down at my shoes, Luke stares at me, waiting for more.

"Wow? That's it?" Luke's face begins to turn into multiple shades of red, I didn't want to hurt him, I just genuinely don't know how to feel.

"What do you want me to say Luke?" I bark at him, "I don't know how I feel about you, we've been friends for years! Suddenly that just changes?"

I wish I knew my answer, Luke has always been the one to be there for me. But is that enough?

"You do know how you feel!" He protests, maybe he was right.

"I just need time to think..." I finally stare back, looking into his glossy eyes.

Luke sighs, "Okay Lola. I understand, damn I should have waited to tell you." He looks so defeated, I'm sorry, please don't hate me.

"It's okay Luke. I'm glad you did."

He leans in, hugging me. His lanky arms wrap around my waist, I hug back, tighter. Luke is my safe place, nothing can ever go wrong when we're together. Maybe this is what love is suppose to feel like, safe.

"We should probably go back into the living room, the guys are probably getting suspicious." He says, letting go of me.

"You go ahead." I say, leaning down to sit on his small bed, the brown comforter meeting the palm of my hands.

"Alright." He says, "And Lola?"

"Yeah Luke?"

He comes closer to the bed, kissing my forehead, "No matter what, I'll still be your best friend."

I say nothing, smiling back at him as he exits, I lie down on the bed, smelling his sheets, which smells of his cologne, the one I bought for him last Christmas.

Shit, how long have I been in here? Sitting up, I jump out of the bed, walking to the living room quickly.

"There she is!" Calum fakes a surprised look, fuck off.

"Lola are you okay? You look pale." Michael asks, reminding me of what I need to do.

"Yeah. I need to use the bathroom, I'll be right back." I really want to throw up right now, the mix of alcohol and an empty stomach is not a good one.

"Hang in there!" Michael calls as I shut the bathroom door, moments later I begin my process. Finger down throat, head over toilet, this process goes on for about what I imagine is about 5 minutes. I look at myself in the mirror, holding onto the sink. Damn, Michael is right, my face looks as pale as snow.

"Lola? Are you okay in there?" Ashton's voice travels through the door. Go away.

I push it open, looking at him. "Obviously, yeah." I snap, "Why? What do you want?"

"The lads are gonna head out to some clubs..." He trails off, shifting his hands in his hoodie.

"Is Luke going?" God, I sound like an annoying girlfriend.

"Yeah." He states, looking at me like an idiot.

"Are you going?" Part of me just wants to be alone, at the same time I fear loneliness.

He chuckles, "Me? No. But the guys want you to go."

"No. I'm quite alright." I hate clubs almost as much as they hate me.

"Well go tell them." Ashton demands, walking away, I follow. "Guys she said that she doesn't want to come."

"Lame." Calum says, doing something on his phone.

"Are you sure Lola?" Luke asks, distancing myself from him for a few hours might be what I need.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I say, Luke and Michael look at me with disappointment.

"Then lets go!" Calum says, leaving our apartment.

"Bye Lola!" Michael and Luke shout in unison, following Calum. The door slams, causing me to jump.

"And then there was two." I say, looking at Ashton.

"So tell me Lola." He smirks, "What else is there to do in this town that isn't shitty?"

I smile, "Where do we begin?"