The chaos of mending hearts

6.

White ceiling, a tray of syringes, a vial of transparent liquid and standing next to it is a nurse, who smiles at me.

Wait, what? A nurse? I'm alive? Shit. Looks like fate isn't done with me. She must have seen my agitated face because she says,
"glad to see you are conscious! Your mother is outside," she hesitates before continuing,
"you were in an accident and you need an immediate brain surgery because of the aneurysm the accident caused.
But don't you worry, even though the surgery is just a little bit risky, you'll be up and about living your life in no time."

Her forced smile tells me things are more than a little risky and God I hope the odds aren't in my favour.

"you're eager to go back home, aren't you?" I shake my head, unable to speak with an oxygen mask on my face and my body strapped to the machines.
Her brows furrow at that. "You don't want to go home?"

I shake my head harder, all the memories crashing down on me again and a tear escapes my eye. She's about to say something when my mom hesitantly walks in.

"I'd like to be alone with my daughter for a while."

The silence is too heavy when we are alone.

"I heard that."

Of course, she did. I can't even face her so I just continue to stare at the ceiling.

"Do-do you really don't want to come home anymore?" did she just stammer? What's happening?

"Aurora...", the crack in her voice in her voice stuns me enough to look at her seeing tears welling up in her eyes.
She sits by me and takes my hand in her calloused hands. I can't remember the last time she did that.

"Before I breakdown in tears and make a mess, let me just say this", taking a deep breath, eyes fixated on the floor she continues, "You have every right to not want to come back to me. And I'm ashamed to admit that it took this accident for my pathetic self to realize how much of a horrible mother I've been to you.

I know I don't deserve forgiveness for the things I've said to you, but I could never live with myself knowing that my last words to you were that you're not worthy enough. I-I couldn't think straight when they told me what happened to you. It felt like a fog clearing in my head but too late to do anything about it.

Maybe... I was so harsh with you because you remind me so much of your dad. I know that's no excuse and that I should've been stronger",
she wipes her tears, still looking at the floor, "I don't think there's any way to compensate for what I did and yes you deserve better but, if you ever find in yourself to give me another chance, I promise to devote myself to be better for you. I can't lose you too."

And then she breaks down.