The chaos of mending hearts

2.

Morning begins with the same monotony. Wake up, hear an earful from mom about how much of a disaster I am, skip breakfast because who has an appetite after being reminded that they are a waste of life, and leave for school.

Like a coward, when I feel like I'm suffocating in this labyrinth of reality, I retreat into my head. I don't have to impress anyone in there.

From a genius physicist who unravels the mystery of this universe to a damsel in distress becoming her own knight in shining armour, I'm spinning and weaving stories about it all. It's me and my silly imagination against the world after all. And my mother's expectations.

I can't have a "reputed profession" like she wants me to. Being a well-respected lawyer, I know what she expects of me, but I can't even entertain the mere thought of giving up the essence of my sanity. I want to convey emotions, I want to inspire, I want to be a writer.

By the time three lectures are over and it's time for lunch, I'm already so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I slowly walk towards the cafeteria with lily, who adopted my nerdy ass in middle school and made me her personal diary.

"Knock-knock. You there Ro?" her words break me out of my reverie and I feel a tinge if guilt for zoning out again.

"you've been too quiet today. A penny for your thoughts?" I sigh.

"What do you want to do in life, lils?"

"I'm not sure. game development, robotics, these are the ones I have on my mind. I'm just exploring really as of now. What about you?"

"I think I want to be a writer."

"Hmm, have you written anything?"

"When I don't have any assignments or projects, I do."

"aren't you already a writer then?"

"Well okay, that's true. But I want to reach out more, I want to impact young minds, I want to create something that makes my existence immortal even after I'm wiped off the face of earth."

The face splitting grin on lily's face makes me pause. "What?"

"Ro this is the most I've seen your face light up in a long, long while. It makes me so happy to see you so passionate about something. Don't ever lose that, okay?"
The cafeteria has so much food. Burgers, sandwiches, varieties of rice, pastries, muffins- oh lord I hate muffins.

I wasn't hungry or maybe I was, but I didn't want to eat anything so after taking a bite of lils' burger I get up to leave.

"Ro do you want to come over at mine later? We can have a fun sleepover!"

"You know I can't lils.",
I see a hint of sadness in her smile as I walk away.